Page 17

AFTER

E mryn was tired, her head was ringing, and her grip on her fire was tenuous at best. She needed to sleep, but she’d just gotten married, and according to custom, she had to appear with her new husband in front of the nobility and thank them for coming.

Oh Mother, she was married.

And to the prince of Rodilla.

And the head healer had stripped her of her affiliation to the temple while accusing her of being power hungry. No matter how she’d tried to convince him that the only way that the prince lived was by closing the loop.

She’d always thought of the head healer as a father figure. And if he could believe that of her, what was the rest of the kingdom thinking?

Emryn shook her head, letting the prince lead her into the room where the nobility of Rodilla was assembled. Dancing and drinking, eating food that the common man would never see in his life. The entire thing smacked of the ludicrous. Why couldn’t she wake up?

She wasn’t asleep; she knew that, but why had the Moon Mother decreed this for her?

What had she done? What did she need to do? Both were valid questions and she had no way to seek the answers.

Emryn pasted a smile over the fear that was churning her gut and let the Prince lead her into speaking with the nobility. She didn’t know them and by and large she was dismissed by them in favor of speaking solely with the prince.

And Emryn was grateful for it. Grateful that she didn’t have to figure out how to reply politely to strangers while her fire was dancing just under her skin.

And Asan knew.

She’d admitted it to Prince Cas as well. Either one of them could destroy her if they chose.

But then her vow to the temples had been dissolved by the head healer. She could never go back, never seek asylum or shelter in the temples again. And that lack was a hole in the middle of her soul.

Emryn had lost her home. The only place she had ever been wanted.

But she still had her vow to the Mother. She could be content with that. Even if she had no home, even if she had nothing, she was still under the eyes of the Mother.

“Emryn?” Prince Cas laid a hand on her shoulder. “Would you like to eat something?”

“I should,” Emryn nodded. “I’m still weak and could use the calories.”

Her took her through to the dining room, seating her at his right hand as the nobility took their seats around them. “We have a little of everything, Emryn, all you have to do is ask.”

Emryn looked at the truly boggling number of dishes on the table and then up at Prince Cas. “What do you like the best, highness?”

“Probably this,” he pulled one of the large tureens toward them. “It’s a rice soup with chicken, and cook swears by it for illness.”

He dipped her out a ladle. It was thick and rich and smelled like chicken and garlic. Emryn’s stomach growled heinously and she picked up her spoon and applied herself to supper.

She had a little bit of everything, plus two bowls of that soup. And by the time the nobility were drifting away from the table and back to their dancing, Emryn could only barely keep her eyes open.

“Bed then?” Prince Cas was looking down at her.

She nodded, rising and having to grip the edge of the table. “You can stay, Highness. I will take myself to bed.”

“What sort of husband would I be if my wife went to bed alone on our first night wed?” Cas took her arm and led her from the room. Pausing in the doorway to the ballroom until the nobility noticed and fell silent.

“Celebrate, my nobility.” Cas said, pitching his voice to be heard in all the corners of the room. “My new wife and I are going to bed.”

There was a number of whistles and a very great deal of cheering as Prince Cas led Emryn from the room.

And now she was swimming in a very different sort of dread.

She was his wife; he could demand the rights to her bed and she couldn’t say no. At least not without putting them both at risk. She was grateful that the bedding ceremony had been discontinued, that at least there would be no one to watch her fumble when Prince Cas bedded her.

“Emryn, would you like me to take you back to your rooms now?” Prince Cas asked.

“I thought-”

“You cannot even call me by name, Emryn.” He looked a touch sad for just a moment. “Not even in your thoughts. No, I won’t take you to bed, not until you ask, alright?”

She nodded, relief storming her. “I’m sorry, Highness.”

“Can you say my name for me, Emryn?” He looked down at her, reaching to cup her cheek. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

She leaned into the touch, the sensation of it fizzing along her nerves. She’d never been touched this way, kind and soft and his smile dragged one in return from her.

“I’ll try,” she swallowed. “Cas.”

“Not so frightening, is it?” He leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers. “Will you let me court you now, Emryn? Now that the danger to us is passed, will you allow me to show you what I would have done with anyone that was supposed to wed me?”

“I don’t want to be trouble.” Emryn opened her eyes, looking into his warm ones. “Cas, I-”

He tilted his head, only slightly, but it was enough to catch her lips. He kissed her softly, one hand coming up to cup the back of her head. Cas nuzzled her lips with his, there was really no other way to describe it. The kiss was so soft, but the feelings in Emryn were anything but.

Cas raised his head, and Emryn had to forcibly hold herself back from grabbing at him. He wouldn’t want that from her. Not yet and perhaps not ever.

After all, she was only a common healer that he’d had to marry so that he wouldn’t die.

That didn’t mean that she had any claim on him.

“Emryn?”

“Forgive me,” She turned from him. “I should return to my rooms. If there is something you require, you have only to ask it of me.”

She walked away from him before he could say anything else. Fleeing back to her room and throwing herself on the bed. It was uncomfortable, the pins of the stomacher and the bones of the corset jabbing her.

And she hadn’t no idea how to get out of the gown herself.

“All finished for the evening, Highness?” Shana walked out of the next room with a fresh sleeping gown and a fairy light. “I imagine you are exhausted.”

“I would like to sleep.” Emryn said, carefully disguising the turmoil she felt. “His Highness will call on me should he need anything.”

“Let’s get you out of your gown.” Shana said calmly. “Her Majesty’s seamstress has said she will return tomorrow and begin dressing you as befits a princess.”

“Then I should try and rest.”