Page 12

ELEVEN

Bellamy had twenty-five Trailblazers-themed bracelets made with green, white, and red beads that he didn’t know what to do with.

The box had been sitting on his doorstep when he’d arrived home this morning, his body flagging from eleven days on the road, five games, four wins, and one loss. The bracelets were cute, just like the original three he’d purchased at Jason’s farm shop, but now that they were in Bellamy’s hands, he was rethinking his strategy.

He’d planned on giving them to his teammates as... a friendship bracelet of sorts?

He was either utterly pathetic or . . .

No, there was no or . He was pathetic.

The box—no worse for wear for having sat under his overhang for a couple of days—had been eyeing him all day like a gnarly predator, silently teasing him for his terrible idea. He’d hidden it in the hall closet while he made dinner, but he could feel it in there as if the thing were actually alive.

The doorbell rang as he was stirring the risotto, and he cursed under his breath. The recipe specifically said to keep stirring without stopping.

“If your name is Jason, come on in,” he called loudly enough to be heard outside. “If you’re anybody else, I’m not home.”

The door clicked open to the sound of gentle laughter. “What if I had been anybody else?” Jason asked.

“That person would’ve known I wasn’t home,” Bellamy said, his heart giving a hard thump when Jason walked into the kitchen. “Obviously. Hi.” Still stirring, he leaned over for a kiss.

“Hi.” Jason’s lips met his in a lingering close-mouthed kiss. A hello smooch that turned into a second.

Bellamy hadn’t realized he’d missed Jason’s kisses until this second.

Jason pulled back and nodded at the pot. “What are you making?”

“Pancetta and leek risotto.”

“Smells amazing.” Jason leaned against him, popping one hand in the back pocket of Bellamy’s jeans.

Bellamy’s heart gave another hard thump. “I hope it is amazing. I’ve had my eye on this recipe for a while, but this is the first time I’m making it. It calls for half a cup of dry white wine, which required some googling and a conversation with the lady at the liquor store. I wouldn’t know a dry white wine from a wet white wine if you paid me.”

Jason’s lips twitched, and he kissed Bellamy’s shoulder. “The opposite of a dry wine is a sweet wine.”

“Huh. That explains the amused looks the liquor store lady was giving me.”

Jason’s lip twitching turned into a full-on grin paired with a laugh, lighting up his whole face. Bellamy still wanted to tell that face all of his secrets. He was even tempted to tell Jason about the box of bracelets, even though he also wanted to forget it existed.

When dinner was ready, Bellamy dished up a couple of bowls and brought them to the coffee table, where he’d already laid out cutlery and napkins.

“I’m genuinely curious,” Jason said as they sat on the rug across from each other. “Do you have an aversion to actual kitchen tables?”

Bellamy stared at him for a moment, then laughed as he remembered eating appetizers and maple pie in front of the fireplace with Jason. “No, I don’t have an aversion. Coffee table meals were a weekly thing when I lived with my grandparents. We’d have tacos or a charcuterie board or pizza or pasta in marinara sauce, and we’d sit at the coffee table and watch a movie.” He shrugged, recalling how they’d move the table out of the way when they were finished and sprawl out on blankets and pillows while the movie played. “I like sitting on the floor. I can spread out if I want to.”

“Your grandparents came to the farm on the weekend,” Jason told him. He blew on a spoonful of risotto, his puckered lips doing very bad things to Bellamy’s nether regions—or maybe very good things—then popped the spoon in his mouth. “Damn.” His eyes went wide. “This is delicious. The pancetta gives it just the right amount of saltiness.”

Saltiness .

God.

“Thanks,” Bellamy said, letting his own meal cool before he took a bite. “How’d you know it was my grandparents? Were they wearing a sign?”

Jason’s laugh at the bad joke was much more gratifying than it should’ve been.

“No. Your grandpa showed your grandma one of the maple syrup-bottle ornaments, and he said, ‘This is like the one Bellamy got me.’ I figured Bellamy meant you, unless there are other Bellamys floating around Maplewood I don’t know about.”

“Not super likely,” Bellamy said. “I looked it up once—my name is gaining popularity, but it didn’t appear in the top one thousand names in the States until 2018.”

Jason’s smile was fond. “You just happened to look up your name?”

“Shut up. I was curious.”

“What else have you been curious enough to look up?”

“Oh, lots of things.” Bellamy took a bite of his dinner, and yeah—it tasted as delicious as it smelled. “Why Cats is so popular. How hockey pucks are made. What a chair would look like if our knees bent the other way. Why there aren’t dinosaur ghosts.”

“Maybe there are,” Jason said sagely. “Maybe you just can’t see them.”

“Thanks for that. Now I’m going to picture brontosaurus ghosts wandering around outside when I close my eyes at night.”

“You’re welcome.”

The conversation continued from there, going in no particular direction through second helpings of risotto and a shared slice of maple cream pie Jason had brought from Sparky’s Diner.

“I had to sneak around back to get that for you, but I wanted you to be able to compare the maple pies from both diners.”

Bellamy gasped dramatically. “God forbid someone sees you at the wrong diner.”

“Exactly.”

Eventually, they did as Bellamy used to do with his grandparents and shoved the coffee table aside. They spread out the throw in front of the fireplace and stretched out on it, Bellamy on his stomach, Jason on his back next to him. It was cozy and intimate and warm. Bellamy wished they could stay here and ignore the rest of the world forever.

They were laughing about something CC had said on the plane earlier today when Jason said, “I like this.”

The moment felt soft enough to mold in Bellamy’s hands. “Like what?”

“This. Hanging out.” Jason traced Bellamy’s lips with a finger.

Goosebumps erupting along his spine, Bellamy captured Jason’s hand and kissed the tips of his fingers. “Me too. And speaking of hanging out... what are you doing tomorrow?”

“I’ve got a seminar at UNH after lunch. Why?”

“There’s a team potluck dinner. Spouses and kids will be in attendance too. Want to come?”

Jason entwined their fingers together. “As your date?”

Bellamy nodded. “As my date.”

“Yeah,” Jason murmured softly, the firelight playing over his skin. “I’d like that. And what are you doing next Sunday?”

“Uh...” Bellamy brought his calendar up in his head. “Nothing. I think. Pretty sure that’s a day off, so... sleeping. Laundry. Maybe grocery shopping.”

“Want to come to a party?” Jason rested their linked hands on his stomach. “We’re celebrating Sheila’s birthday.”

Bellamy stared at him for a long moment. “Your stepmom? You want me to meet your family?”

“Of course.”

“Jase...” He let out a huff of a laugh that was more unconvinced than amused. “Your family hates me.”

“I promise you, they don’t.”

“But Ryland?—”

“Is one person,” Jason said, scooching an inch closer. “And what’s between you is between you —not the entire Zervudachi family.”

“It’s just...” Withdrawing his hand from Jason’s, Bellamy played with his fingers. “If you’re sure they won’t toss me out on my ass.”

“Trust me.”

He did, Bellamy found. He did trust Jason. He wanted to keep dating him, keep getting to know him. Wanted to discover all the little things that made Jason Jason . Wanted so desperately to see where this relationship went, even as he asked himself if there was any point to it all when he’d most likely end up traded again in the next twelve months.

Before that thought could make him sad, Jason said, “I mean, are your teammates going to toss me on my ass? I’m the brother of their teammate’s rival, after all.”

“Nah. They’re not like that. And our captain—Dabbs—he wants the rivalry to die a quiet death as much as you do.”

Dabbs’ advice to put the rivalry to bed had been the reason Bellamy hadn’t responded to Ryland’s latest post, no matter how much he’d wanted to. That quip about him not being first-line material for a reason?

That had hurt.

Ryland was often a dick, but he wasn’t usually mean-spirited. It was like he knew not to cross the line between competitive rivalry and asshole .

But that?

If Ryland had known about Bellamy and Jason and he’d had an axe to grind, Bellamy might understand it. But he didn’t, so where had the hateful statement come from? Was he annoyed Bellamy hadn’t responded to his previous post, so he’d upped the ante?

He was tempted to ask Jason about it, but he didn’t want to put him in the middle.

“What should I bring to the potluck?” Jason asked, drawing Bellamy out of his thoughts. “I won’t have a lot of time to make anything. Maybe I can pick up chips and dip?”

“I’ve specifically been told not to bring chips and dip.” At Jason’s raised eyebrow, Bellamy added, “Apparently it’s not appropriate potluck food.”

“Says who?” Jason asked, sounding mildly insulted.

“I didn’t ask,” Bellamy said with a laugh. “I was going to make baked mac and cheese tomorrow after morning skate. I can make a spinach and artichoke dip for you. I have an easy recipe that takes less than forty minutes of combined prep and cooking time.”

“Yeah?” Hauling himself up, Jason nosed at Bellamy’s neck until Bellamy flipped onto his back. “I guess you do like me.”

As Jason’s lips met his and the fire crackled nearby, all Bellamy could think was More than you know.

“Tell me again what these are for?” Jason asked, tongue-in-cheek as he put the bracelets Bellamy had shown him back in the box.

“Noooooo.” Naked, Bellamy fell onto his back on the throw and covered his face with a pillow from the couch. His voice was muffled when he said, “It was embarrassing enough saying it the first time.”

Jason wanted to hug him, encase him in bubble wrap, and kiss every inch of him, all at the same time.

Of course, he’d just kissed every inch of him before screwing him into the mattress—or the blanket, as it were—hence their naked states. The fire kept them warm, though Jason’s toes were cold, so he stuck them under Bellamy’s thigh.

“I think it’s cute,” Jason told him, setting the box aside. “I did wonder why on earth you wanted twenty Christmas-themed bracelets.”

“They’re Trailblazers-themed, not Christmas-themed.”

“The bracelets would beg to differ.” Jason poked him in the thigh. “You should give them to your teammates.”

“They’ll laugh at me.”

He lifted the pillow off Bellamy’s face to look at him. “Will they?”

Bellamy screwed up his face. “Well... CC will love it, which means Hughes will love it. Actually, Dabbs will probably love it too, and Gaff will want one because his friends have one. And the other guys will want one because Dabbs has one.”

“There’s your answer then,” Jason said, placing the pillow back on Bellamy’s face.

“Okay, but...” Bellamy batted the pillow away and sat up. “What if I’ve seriously overestimated them?”

“What if you’ve underestimated them?”

Bellamy didn’t look convinced.

“Why don’t you start small?” Jason removed a single bracelet from the box and slipped it over Bellamy’s hand and onto his wrist. “You wear it and see if anyone comments on it.”

“I suppose that’s a logical solution,” Bellamy said reluctantly.

“I do have those on occasion.”

“Like your solution to diversifying the farm. Have you talked to your dad about that yet?”

Jason looked away. “Nah. March is always busy with the festival.”

“But the festival ended last weekend,” Bellamy pointed out. “What are you waiting for?”

“My dad to be in a receptive mood and unicorns to walk the earth?”

Bellamy snorted a laugh. “Uh-huh. What’s the real reason? Are you afraid he’ll reject your idea?”

“I was at first, but...” Hesitating, Jason considered deflecting or changing the subject, but Bellamy had shown him the bracelets. “I’m worried it’ll fail. That we won’t market it properly and it’ll be a bust or it’s just not as profitable as I hope it will be. I want to take over running the farm one day. But my dad won’t let me if he thinks I’m incompetent.”

“Would he, though?” Bellamy asked, turning the tables on him and making him truly think.

Jason wasn’t sure he liked the tactic thrown back at him.

But it did make him think.

Truth was, there was no world where Jason tried and failed at something and his dad labeled him as incompetent. If anything, Dad would be proud of him for trying.

So where was this fear coming from?

“The last two things I tried ended up failing,” he said. Feeling exposed, he slung part of the blanket over his lap. “I don’t want this to be another one.”

“What were the other two things?”

Unsurprised by the question, Jason said, “Relationships.” He lay back and put Bellamy’s discarded couch pillow behind his head.

Bellamy’s eyes flared, then narrowed into angry slits. “The people who used you to get to Ryland?”

“Yeah, but...” Jason had been afraid of being used again. He hadn’t realized there’d been a related fear living under his breastbone until now. “I trusted those guys because I trusted my judgment of them. And ultimately I was wrong. What if I’m wrong about this too? Ugh.” He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Sounds dumb when I say it out loud.”

“It doesn’t.”

There came the sound of skin on fabric, then the delightful sensation of Bellamy’s body against Jason’s left side. Jason dropped his hands and found Bellamy stretched out next to him, head propped up on one hand. This close, his lips looked poutier than ever. He placed a series of small kisses on the maple leaf tattoo on Jason’s arm, and the gesture caused a riot of nameless emotions to explode in his chest.

“Your trust in your own judgment is shot,” Bellamy said. “That’s not your fault. That’s just life throwing shitty circumstances your way.”

“I guess.”

Bellamy passed a palm over Jason’s stomach, sending it fluttering. “Can I ask about those guys? What happened?”

Jason inhaled a long breath and let it out in a rush, cursing his past self for being gullible as the fire in the gas fireplace danced, creating shadows in the living room. “I met Dustin at a bar in Burlington. I was there with some friends, and Dustin and I hit it off. He owned a snow plowing business, and...” Jason let out a frustrated sound. “I didn’t even know he was into hockey until he met Ryland at a family function a few months after we started dating. He and his friends had developed a workout app I hadn’t known about. He pitched it to Ryland that day, and Ryland promised to try it. Dustin pestered me about it for a couple of weeks, so I finally asked Ryland about it. He tried it; some of his teammates tried it. And Dustin ghosted me.”

Bellamy squeezed his hip. “Fucker.”

Jason smiled grimly. He had no idea if Ry still used the app or if his using it had given it a boost of popularity, and he didn’t care to. “Yeah. And then there was Tommy. We met at a farmers market last May. I was selling maple syrup and he was selling pastries. We dated for a couple of months before I introduced him to my friends and family, though he didn’t meet Ryland until Ry was helping me out at the market one Saturday in August. Ry left his hat behind at my booth while he stepped away to browse a little, and when he got back it was gone. I didn’t even notice anyone take it.” He stared at the ceiling, remembering how he and Ryland had looked inside and behind boxes, under the tablecloth, and everywhere else they could think of. Ryland had shrugged it off—he had other team-branded hats at his place in Columbus—but Jason had felt terrible that something of his had gone missing on his watch.

“As Ryland and I were packing up at the end of the market, I noticed Tommy leaving, so I jogged to catch up to him at his truck, just to say see you later. He had Ryland’s hat in his hand, and he was holding it in front of him, up near his stomach. And I said something like, ‘Hey, you found Ry’s hat.’” Jason blew out a loud breath. “He barely spared me a glance before running into his truck and gunning it. I later found out he sold the hat for a few thousand bucks, which was when I realized he’d been holding the hat in front of him so I didn’t see it. I never saw him at the market again after that—at any market.”

Bellamy’s lips met his tattoo again and stayed there for a good few seconds that made Jason’s heart melt. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“I thought you’d be like them,” Jason whispered, unable to confess it any louder. “That you’d use me to get at Ryland.”

“You don’t still think that, do you?” Bellamy asked it so casually that Jason almost missed the strain to his one-sided smile and the apprehension threading through his voice.

“No.” Jason ran a thumb over his lips, smiling slightly when Bellamy kissed it. “Because if you were using me, that’d mean you were playing the long game, and I don’t think that’s who you are.”

There wasn’t any one thing that spoke of Bellamy’s relief. Just a subtle slackening of his entire body, from his shoulders to his toes.

“I believe you when you say you just want to play hockey.”

“Play hockey and hang out with my boyfriend,” Bellamy said. He burrowed a hand under Jason’s back and rolled over, bringing Jason with him.

Settling on top of all that naked skin, Jason kissed his collarbone as heat swept through him, lighting him up from the inside out. Boyfriend, huh? He could get on board with that.

“Hey, so...” He trailed his lips upward and caught Bellamy’s in a slow kiss that threatened to make the top of his head fly off. “Remember earlier? When you said you needed a few minutes of recovery before I could ride your dick?”

“Uh-huh,” Bellamy said, trailing his toes up the back of Jason’s calf.

“Has it been enough minutes?”

Bellamy’s smile was all the answer he needed.