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TEN

Ryland’s latest social media post made Jason want to throw something. It was a screenshot of a Trailblazers blog post that outlined Bellamy’s top three game-day essentials, and Ryland had captioned it with Bellamy Jordan thinks chicken noodle soup is going to help him win games? Dream on . He’s never been first-line material for a reason.

Bellamy had told Jason about this article. It was meant as a fun fluff piece. A social media post—with a link to the article—that would go live a couple of hours before tonight’s game in Dallas. It was a cute post too, and although Bellamy had admitted to Jason that he hadn’t written it—someone on the Trailblazers’ media team had—he’d provided his game-day essentials.

Water.

Chicken noodle soup a couple hours before the game—which Bellamy freely acknowledged was definitely more of a superstition and less a routine.

And decompressing by playing soccer with his teammates.

Standing next to the giant Jenga game on the farm while Dad dashed to the shed to grab the tarps so they could cover the game for the night, Jason screenshotted Ryland’s post and texted it to his brother.

Jason:

You don’t think you’re being a bit of a jerk?

Ryland:

Excuse you.

Jason:

Excuse YOU. That thing about him not being first-line material is really mean, Ry.

Ryland:

Since when do you care about what me and Bellamy toss at each other?

Jason:

I’m just pointing out that this rivalry appears to be very one-sided.

Ryland:

He jumped ME!

Jason:

Five years ago.

Ryland didn’t appear to have a retort for that.

Jason loved his brother. He was funny, loyal, playful, affectionate, focused, and kind. So what was it about Bellamy that made him unkind?

A few feet away, Ryland’s best friend and one of the farm’s seasonal employees was picking up the lawn bowling equipment. He tossed each piece into a wagon, where they landed with a clunk.

“Hey, Denver,” Jason said, jogging up to him. “Got a sec?”

“Sure. Need help covering up the Jenga?”

“Thanks, but no. My dad’s gone to get the tarp. I wanted to ask...” Suddenly unsure, Jason scratched his cheek. “What can you tell me about the rivalry between Ryland and Bellamy?”

Denver raised one strawberry blond eyebrow. “What do you want to know exactly?”

“How did it start? Why did it start?”

Questions he should be asking Ryland or Bellamy, but if he asked Ryland, he’d get a useless vague response, and if he asked Bellamy...

Maybe Bellamy would tell him the whole story, but Jason didn’t want to ask. He was always afraid of saying the wrong thing, of implying that he was taking Ryland’s side when he’d spent the past decade stubbornly not taking sides.

But he was in the middle of it now, and it was time he admitted it to himself.

Denver might be biased in his storytelling, but he’d gone to college with Ryland and Bellamy, had played on the same team as them. He knew more than Jason did.

Denver tossed the final maple syrup bottle they used as bowling pins into the wagon. “They clashed from the beginning. I don’t know why, to be honest. Differing personalities, maybe? They cooperated on the ice—they had to—but off the ice was a whole different story. Then Bellamy was dating this girl—or maybe he was working up to asking her out, I can’t remember exactly. Then all of a sudden, she and Ryland were a thing.”

“Wait, are you talking about Kaitlin?” Ryland and Kaitlin had dated throughout college and for a couple of years after they’d graduated.

“Yeah.” Denver tugged a beanie out of his hoodie’s pocket and slipped it over his buzzed head. The day had been fairly warm and guests had enjoyed the sunny weather on this second to last day of the Maple Syrup Festival, but the sun took that warmth with it as it began to set. “Bellamy wasn’t even mad about it. He was just... resigned. But Kaitlin was just the first in a long line of things Bellamy wanted but that Ryland got. Starting forward, college hockey awards, the captaincy, better grades in every class they shared, the favor of most of their professors and coaches, the love of the fans, a spot on an NHL team. It should’ve been friendly competition, but it turned into a thing . I never understood it. Bellamy’s a nice guy.”

“You were friends?”

“I wouldn’t say we were friends, but we were friendly. I always thought that if they could get their heads out of their asses, Ryland and Bellamy would be the best of friends.”

Interesting.

“I thought it was over and done with when we graduated, but then Bellamy jumped Ryland and the whole thing started all over again,” Denver said with an eye roll.

“Why did he jump Ryland?”

Denver shrugged. “Ryland’s never said, which makes me think he was being a dick but doesn’t want to admit it. Truthfully, if Bellamy retired from hockey tomorrow, I don’t think we’d hear Ryland mention his name ever again. But the rivalry’s gone on so long that I don’t think Ryland knows how to stop antagonizing him at this point.” He nodded over Jason’s shoulder. “There’s your dad. You guys need help?”

“Nah, we’re good, thanks. Why don’t you leave that”—Jason gestured at the wagon—“with me and head home for the night.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Denver tipped an imaginary hat at Jason’s dad. “Have a good night, Mr. Z.”

“See you tomorrow,” Dad called back. “Jase, grab the other end of this?”

Together, they got the tarps over the Jenga game, climbing wall, and the snow cone cart. Jason worked on autopilot, his mind in Dallas with Bellamy.

A picture of Bellamy was forming in Jason’s head. Bellamy had been—per his own words—shuffled between his parents before moving in with his grandparents; then he’d been denied time after time in college, and he’d spent his NHL career going from team to team.

Had Bellamy had to fight for everything he ever wanted?

Sure sounded like it.

How had he not given up? How had he not waved a white flag and let the world sweep him away wherever it wanted?

He was a professional athlete—it wasn’t in their nature to give up. Still, he must be tired of constantly having to prove himself.

Sadness pushed at Jason’s insides like a dull knife as he followed his dad back to the house. Now that he knew more about the rivalry, he wished he’d paid more attention over the years so he could convince Ryland to let it go and stop prodding at what Jason suspected were Bellamy’s open wounds.

There was only so much a person could take before they snapped.

“What’s on your mind?” Dad asked. They approached the back door of the house, the kitchen lights beckoning them inside. “You’ve been quiet.”

“Just thinking. Hey, uh... would it be okay if I brought someone to Sheila’s birthday party?”

“Someone as in a date?”

“Uh . . . yes?”

“Of course,” Dad said, climbing up the steps to the back deck.

Jason followed. “It’s just this person is kind of... contentious.”

“Contentious? How so? Did you suddenly decide you’re into women?”

“What? No. It’s...” Blowing out a breath, Jason braced for impact. “It’s Bellamy Jordan.”

Dad stared at him. Stared some more. Standing under the light affixed over the kitchen door, his face was expressionless. “You’re dating Bellamy Jordan? The Bellamy Jordan?”

“Unless there’s another Bellamy Jordan out there?” Jason tried for a joke. It fell flat.

“Actually dating? Not just hooking up?”

Jason hunched his shoulders. “Gross. Don’t say hooking up.”

“Hey, you started this conversation.”

“I have regrets.”

Dad chuckled, easing Jason’s anxiety somewhat. Dad settled back against the railing, clearly gearing up for a conversation. “How long have you been dating?”

“Not long. It’s pretty new.”

“Does your brother know?”

“Not yet.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, Jason stubbed the toe of his boot against the wood of the deck. “He’s not who Ryland says he is, Dad.”

“I never thought he would be,” Dad said. “Nobody is only one thing.”

Hadn’t Jason recently had a similar thought? “You don’t hate him, then?”

Dad let out a huff of a laugh. “There are very few people on this planet that I actively hate. Bellamy isn’t one of them. This thing between him and your brother, it’s...”

“Past its use-by date?”

Throwing his head back, Dad laughed loudly, drawing Sheila to the kitchen window. She waved. Dad waved back. “That’s one way of putting it.”

Jason leaned against the railing next to him and asked the question that had been plaguing him. “Do you think he’s going to be hurt?”

“Yes,” Dad said candidly. “But not for the reason you think. Ryland was only five when your mom and I divorced, and he didn’t understand what was happening. You probably don’t remember, but he acted out a lot. It’s why we put him in hockey—we figured we’d let him get his aggression out in a controlled environment. Your mom and I eventually realized that his acting out was his way of being seen. Over time, acting out turned into a need to be the best or to be the center of attention.” Dad’s sigh fogged the air. “We should’ve put him in therapy or counseling, but... well, hindsight and all that. I’ve always suspected that Ryland’s rivalry with Bellamy had more to do with Ryland than with Bellamy. Bellamy just got caught in his need to prove...” Another sigh, this one tinged with fatigue. “I don’t know, to be honest. That he’s worthy of love and attention?”

“But... of course he’s worthy of love and attention.” Heart feeling like it was clenched in a fist, Jason straightened to pace across the deck. “He has all of us who love him. You, me, Sheila, Brie and the kids. Even Mom. I know she’s far away, but?—”

“I know, Jase,” his dad interjected. “But put yourself in Ryland’s shoes. Imagine being five years old and you don’t understand why your parents don’t live together anymore. You don’t understand why they don’t love each other anymore, and if they don’t love each other, does that mean they could stop loving you too?”

“Aw, Ry,” Jason whispered, hot tears pricking his eyes.

“I hope he grew up to understand that your mom and I divorcing didn’t mean we’d ever stop loving him,” Dad said quietly. “But even if he did, those wounds don’t just disappear. He’s carried them into adulthood, and I doubt he even realizes it.”

God. Everything Dad said gave Ryland a new lens. Gave a new perspective to the rivalry. Here Jason just assumed Ryland was being a dick because he could, but obviously there was more to it than that, and he hated himself for ever thinking ill of his brother.

“So to answer your question,” Dad continued, “yes, he’s going to be hurt, but it’s because his initial reaction is going to be to think that you love Bellamy more than him. You’re his older brother, Jase. He looks up to you. At first, he’s going to see this as a betrayal. And that hurt is going to be couched as anger.”

Jason’s heart skipped a beat at the word love in relation to Bellamy at the same time that his stomach twisted at the word betrayal .

“ Do you love him more than Ryland?”

Another beat skipped. “We just started dating.”

“So it’s not serious.”

Jason shrugged one shoulder, trying for casual. “It could be.”

Dad made a rumbly sound that could’ve been a laugh. “I don’t envy you the position you’re in.” Rising, he clapped Jason on the back of the neck. “But I look forward to getting to know Bellamy.” He went into the house, leaving Jason to contemplate the mess he’d gotten himself into.