Page 47

The morning after his sister’s intervention, Fitzwilliam Darcy woke from a sleep lasting nearly twenty hours.

A powder prepared by his valet relieved the last traces of his headache and by the time he left his rooms he felt very nearly like his usual self.

That feeling came to an abrupt end when, upon entering the breakfast room, he spied Charles Bingley chatting merrily with Georgiana.

Not being a drinking man, Darcy was not practiced in the art of differentiating truth from fiction in the alcohol-induced haze of his memories.

Had he indeed bared his soul to his friend or was it all a nightmare?

Fitzwilliam chose to prevaricate. “Good morning, Georgiana. Bingley, it is good to see you again.”

He was not pleased when the pair were barely able to control their laughter while responding to his sober greeting. Gritting his teeth, he poured himself a cup of coffee and filled a plate at the sideboard before sitting.

After taking a long sip, he glanced up to see two pairs of amused eyes watching him. Finally accepting that he would not be able to bluff his way out, Fitzwilliam hunched his shoulders and stared down into his cup. “Was I so very ridiculous?”

“More pitiful than ridiculous, old man,” responded Bingley with a chuckle.

Darcy looked up and saw that both were looking at him with a combination of amusement and compassion. He heaved a great sigh. “I owe you both an apology for my behavior.”

Bingley cut his host off with a snort before the man could continue.

“I was only here for the final afternoon performance and you owe me no apology for that. Or rather, your apologies at the time were quite sufficient.” His expression became more serious when he glanced toward Miss Darcy.

“Your sister, however, deserves a great many pretty trinkets, dresses, ponies, or whatever you bribe her with to put up with you.”

Georgiana was amazed to see a blush color her brother’s face as he turned toward her, barely able to meet her eyes. “Georgie, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.” He paused and she saw him swallow. “If you wish to go stay with our aunt and uncle, I will quite understand…”

“Oh Wills, don’t be silly!” She flew to his side and hugged him tightly.

“You’re my brother— I could never leave you!

” After a moment, she leaned back so that she could look him in the face.

“You stood by me last summer… surely I can manage when you need a day or two to sulk in your room.” Darcy might have raised one eyebrow slightly at her impertinence but it was accompanied by a slightly watery smile.

After a few more minutes of reassurances, Georgiana noted dolefully that her music master was expected within the hour.

“I must go apply myself to my lesson before Mr. Alexander returns to point out all of my mistakes. Besides,” she smirked, “I believe the two of you have a great deal to talk about.” Squeezing her brother’s hand, Georgiana gave Mr. Bingley an encouraging smile before leaving the room, taking care to shut the door behind her.

Darcy heaved a great sigh of relief, although some of his anxiety returned when he faced his friend again. “Charles?”

The younger man couldn’t stop a bark of laughter. “Oh Darce! You should see your face— you look like a man being forced to walk the plank over a sea of man-eating sharks!”

Will managed a faint smile. “I shall not say how close you are to sketching my thoughts; you think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly.”

It was some minutes before Bingley’s chuckles calmed enough that he could speak coherently.

Seeing that his friend had barely touched his plate, Charles waved at it.

“Eat up— I’m in no rush.” He kept up a cheerful commentary about his trip to Yorkshire until it became obvious that Darcy had eaten his fill and was merely moving crumbs of egg around on his plate.

Still reveling in this new feeling of playing counselor to his older and usually wiser friend, Charles chuckled again before jumping to his feet.

“I say, shall we go to your library? Nice and private, there.” Without waiting for an answer, he dropped his napkin on the table and practically skipped out the door.

Darcy sat silently for a moment before heaving a heavy sigh and following grimly.

When both men were seated comfortably by the fire, Charles broke the silence. “So, exactly how much do you remember of yesterday?”

After catching the twinkle of amusement in his friend’s eyes, Darcy focused on the rug. “Charles, just tell me what happened. It will be easier for both of us. ”

Bingley snorted. “Easier for you, I suppose. Been having some extraordinary nightmares and not sure if they are true or not?” Though he had determined to forgive the man, Charles was not above enjoying the pained look that flashed across his friend’s face.

“Well, you may rest easy on one count: although Miss Elizabeth Bennet did visit the house yesterday, she did not make any attempt to enter your chambers; your efforts to block the doors were quite unnecessary.” Such a range of emotions flew across Darcy’s face— dismay, embarrassment, relief—that Bingley began chuckling again.

Will looked up at him with such a lost look that the younger man sobered quickly and explained, “I arrived home from Yorkshire yesterday around noon and, as your note sounded rather urgent, came straight over.”

Darcy opened his mouth but then closed it without speaking.

Charles paused until it was clear that his host was not going to respond.

“I was certainly surprised to find Miss Elizabeth here, taking tea with your sister! We didn’t visit for long; Miss Darcy indicated that you wished to speak with me but were ‘unwell’—I believe that’s how she phrased it—and suggested that I visit you in your rooms. When I was let in, you were half-dressed, sloppy drunk, and attempting to barricade the doors against invaders…

whom I eventually came to understand meant Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Hawkins and Holmes both deserve exorbitant raises, by the way. ”

Darcy slumped back in the chair and covered his eyes. “Charles…. I apologize… I don’t even know how to express how sorry I am…”

Bingley crossed his legs at the ankles and waved a hand at his friend casually. “Yes, yes. You apologized yesterday. Repeatedly. Groveled, really. A simple, sober expression of regret is all that is necessary now.”

Upon seeing his friend’s look of disbelief, Charles shrugged but his tone became more serious.

“I spent a good deal of time in Yorkshire thinking about what I want in my life and it comes down to something very simple; I want to be happy. I’m not ambitious, socially or politically.

I’ve been blessed with enough money to do as I please, and Jane Bennet is what pleases me.

She makes me happy.” His eyes took on a faraway, dreamy look and he was quiet for a moment until Darcy began to speak again.

“Charles, again, I can’t apologize enough. I never should have interfered…” Fitzwilliam stopped when his friend raised his hand and asked a simple question.

“Why did you do it?”

Darcy rubbed his face with both hands. “The neighborhood was buzzing with gossip—Mrs. Bennet was telling everyone of her expectation that an engagement was imminent. Your affection was obvious, but…” His discomfort was clear.

“I watched Miss Bennet but I saw no difference between her manner towards you and any other gentleman. I’m so extremely sorry, Charles.

I was an arrogant fool. I never should have said an ything.

” He finally glanced up to see his friend regarding him calmly.

“You knew that Jane was in London this winter?”

Darcy nodded. “Your sister told me that Miss Bennet had called at the Hursts’ home in January.”

“Caroline?”

Fitzwilliam nodded. “Miss Bingley tried to ask me for advice on how best to discourage her. I should have recognized that as a sign of Miss Bennet’s continuing regard but I was so wrapped up in…” He trailed off and shut his eyes again.

Charles prodded him. “You were so wrapped up in…?”

Will sighed before speaking softly. “I fell in love with Miss Elizabeth from almost the first moment I saw her but I was determined to convince myself that she was not good enough to be Mrs. Darcy.”

Bingley snorted and Fitzwilliam could only grimace in agreement.

“I know; I was utterly ridiculous. It all seems so strange now… as if I was a different man.” He paused before continuing.

“In hindsight, my assessment of Miss Bennet’s emotions was almost certainly tainted by my own illogical desire to avoid my feelings for Elizabeth.

The two men sat for a few minutes in silence, both considering the far-reaching effects of their visit to Hertfordshire. “Charles, if you can ever forgive me…”

Bingley waved him off and spoke before his friend could begin another lengthy exposition of his regrets.

“Will, you don’t apologize very often but when you do, you are exceedingly thorough.

I forgive you. Your advice was given in good faith and you never lied to me.

Unlike Caroline .” His face darkened for a moment before returning to his point.

“You are neither my father nor my keeper; you are my friend.

You advised me to the best of your ability—we all have our judgment skewed by emotions now and then.

When you discovered that you were wrong, you told me so immediately.

“I must take responsibility for my own decisions, which is why I can forgive you more easily than I can forgive myself. In this instance, as with many others, I found it easier to be guided than to argue for what I wanted. I knew how Jane felt about me; I was the recipient of her looks and smiles, not you or Caroline. Yet, when you all followed me to London after the ball, it was easier to settle here for Christmas and then remain for the Season than to fight for what I desired.”