Page 41
Story: A Tapestry of Lives #1
The morning after the opera, Darcy woke with the dawn despite his late night.
He lay in bed for a few minutes, running his mind over the previous evening’s highlights and allowing hope to blossom in his heart.
He was fairly certain that Elizabeth had forgiven him and indeed, the warm look that she had gifted him upon his departure the previous night left him with some optimism that she might come to love him in time.
Will’s hope made him restless and he soon left his bed and began his morning ablutions.
He was desperate to talk to Elizabeth privately; not to propose again (he knew it was too soon for that), but simply to speak with her…
to get some sense of where he stood. Fitzwilliam was well pleased with Georgiana’s suggestion of inviting the Gardiners and their niece for a day trip to Kew Gardens; he decided that such an invitation was a reasonable excuse to visit them again so soon.
Darcy’s late night discussion with his sister had also given him the glimmer of another idea—one which his sister had immediately agreed was brilliant in its conception.
He knew that the Gardiners were planning to depart within a fortnight for an abbreviated tour of the northern counties.
With his new knowledge of Mrs. Gardiner’s connections to Lambton, he planned to invite them to stay at his estate.
Mrs. Gardiner could reacquaint herself with Lambton and they might be able to recover any artifacts that remained from her family.
And Fitzwilliam would be able to show Pemberley to Elizabeth, the one place in the world where he felt completely comfortable.
Darcy arrived at Gracechurch Street much too early for a proper call.
He was informed by the Gardiners’ manservant that the family was in the park across the street but was expected to return within the hour.
Darcy declined an invitation to wait for them in the parlor and crossed the street to the park.
Suddenly bashful over his eagerness to see Elizabeth again, Fitzwilliam found a bench protected from other walkers by a tall hedge and prepared to wait.
Unfortunately, although the dense yews kept him from being seen, it did not shield him from overhearing conversations.
Not long after sitting, Darcy recognized Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner’s voices coming from the other side of the hedge.
He was about to move on but could not help but overhear part of their discussion, and what he heard felt like a knife to his heart.
“It is very good to have Lizzy here with us. Her spirits seem to have risen since she first arrived,” spoke Mr. Gardiner’s deeper voice.
Mrs. Gardiner replied, “Well, I cannot imagine that being in Kent was very pleasant after enduring that man’s proposal. And Longbourn must have been completely intolerable. Her mother would never allow her to forget that she turned down such an eligible offer.”
Edward sighed heavily. “In my heart, I know that my sister loves her girls, but I do wish she would not look at her daughters’ marriages with such an eye to her own comfort.”
“Jane and Lizzy have too much sense to accept a proposal that is not founded on respect and affection. I do worry about the other girls, though.”
“Yes, I wish Thomas would exert himself to check Lydia and Kitty’s manners instead of amusing himself over their performances, as he calls it.”
“He seemed different on this last visit. He actually told me that I should appreciate my children while they were still young— that they would grow up far too quickly, particularly the girls…”
Darcy forced himself to stand and walk away.
He could not bear to hear any more; his heart was already shattered.
To think that he had been considering asking Elizabeth for permission to court her!
Clearly she had been only tolerating him, just as she ever had.
And now she probably had some misbegotten sense of gratitude for him having come across her at the right time to rescue her in the park.
Once again he had entirely misread her feelings.
When would he learn? Even if she had absolved him of his actions toward Wickham and Bingley, her basic dislike remained. Had she not made that abundantly clear on that hideous evening at Hunsford? Was he such a masochist that he desired her to repeat that litany of faults?
It made Fitzwilliam physically ill to think that Mrs. Bennet knew all about his proposal and Elizabeth’s rejection, for certainly it meant that all of Hertfordshire knew as well.
He could not bear to imagine the attention he would have received at Longbourn, had he arrived to ask permission to court the second daughter of the house.
Mr. Darcy was forced to drag his attention to the present when the Gardiners’ stable boy appeared before him.
After the gentleman made known his desire, the lad was quick about retrieving his horse.
Fearing who he might meet if he returned to the front of the house, Fitzwilliam rode out through the mews.
It was probably lucky that he had ridden an older, well-trained mount that day for he gave little attention to his direction.
When he arrived at his own home on Grosvenor Square, he was surprised, having no memory of the return trip.
He dismounted with little of the grace he normally possessed and handed the reins over with barely a word.
Upon entering the house, Darcy stood for a moment in the foyer, removing his hat and coat.
He knew he should go to his study and work but he could not face it.
He spoke curtly to the butler; “Holmes, I shall be unavailable for the rest of the day. Please inform my sister that I shall not be able to dine with her this evening.”
And with that, Darcy climbed the stairs to his private chambers, making a brief detour to the billiards room to collect the decanter of brandy that was kept there.
After instructing his valet that the master was not to be disturbed for the remainder of the day, Will proceeded to drink himself into oblivion.
Fitzwilliam Darcy was not a man given to excessive consumption of spirits; he valued his self-control too much for that.
He enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner and the cellars at both Pemberley and Derwent House were well-stocked with an array of fine vintages.
Although he disliked cigars and snuff, he would not turn down a good brandy or port after dinner.
Though his staid reputation did not include that of teetotaler, even at university he was more likely to be the one who saw his mates home safely after a night spent indulging.
In truth, Darcy had only been truly drunk once, when he had graduated from university and come of age, and it was an experience that he tried assiduously to forget for more reasons than one.
Today, however, he locked the door to his rooms and poured himself a brandy before even loosening his cravat.
By the time he had removed it along with his coat and boots, he had emptied the glass.
Grabbing the decanter, Darcy settled into one of the comfortable settees that were arranged before the fire in his private sitting room. Slumping back and stretching his legs out before him, Will took a long sip and welcomed the fuzziness creeping into his mind.
“Foolish idiot,” he said to himself.
Raising his eyes, he studied the painting above the mantle.
These rooms were wholly his own; he had not seen the need to move into his father’s chambers upon the late Mr. Darcy’s death as his own apartment was already arranged to his liking.
That he had recently been thinking of redecorating the Master’s rooms (and the Mistress’ chambers that were connected to it) was a painful notion that he crushed as quickly as he could.
The painting was a landscape done in oils.
It had been the first piece of art Will had bought himself and though he could not explain why, it had always reassured him.
The artist had been traveling through Derbyshire on the way to the Lake District during the summer after Fitzwilliam’s father had passed away.
The young man had presented himself at Pemberley and requested permission to wander the park for a few weeks to sketch and paint where he found inspiration.
Mired in his own mourning and overwhelmed by estate business and a distraught twelve-year-old sister, Darcy had given permission without a thought.
On his last day before departing Derbyshire, Mr. John Constable had presented himself at Pemberley House again, this time with a beautiful landscape for the master to thank him for his hospitality.
Darcy could spend hours studying the painting; its clouds recalling a summer day in Derbyshire and the trees and grass so realistic that he could almost feel the wind blowing through them with the smell of home.
He had brought the painting to London so that he might have it to comfort him while he did his duty to maintain the Darcy place in Society.
Fitzwilliam had been considering commissioning Constable to paint a landscape of the countryside around Longbourn—perhaps from Oakham Mount— for Elizabeth, thinking that it might help ease any homesickness she might have for Hertfordshire.
When they were married. Something that would never happen.
All the pain came crashing down on Fitzwilliam again and he covered his eyes with his arm.
Although curious, Georgiana did not worry excessively about her brother until the following morning.
She had assumed that he was out for dinner the previous day but when he did not join her for breakfast she questioned the butler more closely.
Upon hearing that the Master had in fact been closeted in his rooms for most of the previous day and had not yet risen, she pondered the situation but did not have the courage to confront him.
Table of Contents
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