Page 45
Story: A Tapestry of Lives #1
“Miss Elizabeth, I’ve had a great deal revealed to me today, much of it exceedingly personal in nature. I’m no good at subtlety and I rather think that I’ve seen quite enough of what happens when someone bottles up all their feelings behind a mask.”
Elizabeth’s features had immediately assumed a more serious cast and she nodded for him to continue.
Bingley sighed and ran one hand through his hair.
“Darcy has told me about what occurred between the two of you in Kent, as well as confessing the errors in judgment that led to his advice that I… that Miss Bennet…” He could not quite work out how to phrase it, but looked up when he felt a hand on his arm and was reassured by the strained but compassionate smile on Elizabeth’s face, so like that of her sister.
Encouraged, he continued in a rush. “I want you to understand that I felt a force of attraction for your sister that is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced, from the first instant I saw her. I’d never considered marriage before, you see.”
Hearing a sharp intake of breath, Charles looked up and saw that Miss Elizabeth’s visage had moved from strained to discomposed.
“Forgive me for such honesty; I do realize it’s totally improper to discuss such things but I beg you…
I know I must confess all of my feelings to Miss Bennet and earn her forgiveness, indeed I’d come to that conclusion even before I returned from Yorkshire, but… perhaps if you would just hear me out?”
He had such the appearance of a little boy desperate for approval that Elizabeth couldn’t help but pat his arm again and laugh slightly. An odd feeling of euphoria enveloped her; a sense that all was soon to be set right.
“Mr. Bingley, I admit that I’ve always valued honesty over protocol and, having listened to Miss Darcy’s worries for the last hour…
” She sighed and leaned forward to cup her chin in her hand.
“I will not betray any confidences that my sister has shared with me, but everything else… it would be a relief, to be truthful.”
The two shared an understanding look and Bingley took a moment to organize his thoughts.
“Let me start, then. I care for your sister a great deal… I knew that in Hertfordshire, although I suppose I did not realize just how much I loved her until we were separated. Last fall, I came to London with every intention of returning to Netherfield within the week. I… I suppose I let my insecurities get the better of me.” Seeing that Elizabeth was about to speak, he waved her off.
“Darcy said his piece and that was the end of it, but Caroline had some catty comment every time Hertfordshire or country society was mentioned.” He grimaced down at his hands.
“I visit my family in Yorkshire every spring but I freely admit to being relieved that my sisters chose not to accompany me this year. The time alone… it gave me time to think. To consider what I wanted… What’s important to me .
And it’s certainly not the social climbing that Caro has been using me for. ”
Charles took a sip of tea, appreciating Elizabeth’s ability to listen without interruption.
“By the time I returned from Yorkshire, I’d decided that the only reason to avoid Miss Bennet’s company that carried any weight with me was Darcy’s concern that she didn’t show any particular regard for me…
but could be convinced to accept my offer of marriage because of…
familial… obligations.” He looked apologetically at his companion.
Elizabeth could not remain silent. “Mr. Bingley, I assure you, Jane and I have long sworn to each other that neither of us will ever marry without first being assured of the respect and affection of and for our partners. Regardless of what my mother may say, our father will support us.”
Charles nodded vigorously. “That is exactly what I would have thought of you… of both of you. Jane is so gentle and serene but there is a strength about her…” He trailed off, his eyes looking off into the distance. When he recalled himself to the present, Elizabeth was smiling warmly at him.
“Mr. Bingley, as I said before, I will not betray anyone else’s confidences.
However, I am comfortable telling you of my own observations.
My sister hides her emotions but she feels very deeply.
I can tell you that I’ve never seen her happier than she was last autumn, and I’ve never seen her spirits lower than after your party departed Netherfield.
She took your sister’s note about your intimacy with Miss Darcy very much to heart. ”
When Mr. Bingley sat up straight, eyes blazing, Elizabeth shrugged apologetically. “I suggested that Miss Bingley might have an… ulterior motive. However, Jane is far more trusting than I and couldn’t believe that her new friend would tell her anything but the absolute truth.”
Elizabeth sighed. “Jane came to London to stay with our uncle and aunt after Christmas. After several notes to Miss Bingley went unanswered, Jane called at Mrs. Hurst’s home.
Your sisters expressed surprise at her appearance and indicated that none of her letters had been received.
They were unable to visit with her for long as Miss Bingley claimed that she had an appointment that could not be delayed.
My sister left with the impression that her friends would return the call but it was three weeks before Miss Bingley appeared at Gracechurch Street.
From what my aunt has said, it was a very brief, very uncomfortable visit. ”
Elizabeth paused for a moment, reminded that she was speaking to the lady’s brother. However, a glance toward Charles Bingley reassured her; his face held a grim determination that she had never seen there before. “Please continue, Miss Elizabeth. I would very much appreciate hearing the truth.”
Thinking carefully about what she should and should not say, Elizabeth offered, “My sister wrote to me after Miss Bingley’s call and indicated that she considered the connection severed.
Since then, she avoids speaking of anything related to the Netherfield party.
” She stopped. Anything further would have to come from Jane.
“Is your sister still here in London?”
“No, sir. She returned to Hertfordshire in April.”
“And is she receiving any suitors?”
Elizabeth could not suppress a small smile. “No, sir.”
Although Charles would have preferred to spend the next hour quizzing Miss Elizabeth on anything and everything to do with Jane, her mention of Kent had reminded him of his friend’s heartbreak.
After allowing himself one last vision of Jane smiling at him during their dance at the Netherfield ball, he forced his mind back to the present.
Considering his words for a moment, Charles spoke carefully. “Miss Elizabeth, as I said earlier, Darcy told me a great deal about what occurred between the two of you in Kent.”
Seeing his companion’s cheeks flush and her eyes drop to her hands, it was Charles’ turn to pat her arm reassuringly.
“Please understand, my friend is not in the habit of exposing his personal problems, particularly when they involve someone else, and I shall never speak of it to anyone. He was not… not well… and desperately needed a confidant.”
Charles paused for a moment and found that Elizabeth’s eyes were focused intently on him. “Sir, you mentioned that Mr. Darcy is unwell but I still do not understand. Is he ill? I saw him earlier this week when he accompanied my uncle’s family to the opera and he appeared to be in fine health.”
Bingley was uncertain how to proceed, but the concern in Elizabeth’s eyes made him believe that Jane’s sister might be well on her way to returning his friend’s feelings.
“Miss Elizabeth, I’ll be blunt. My friend has drunk an excessive amount of sprits these last two days, which is something I’ve never seen him do in the many years of our long friendship.
Darcy’s always the responsible one; he would nurse a glass though the evening and then shepherd the rest of us home safely. ”
Elizabeth had covered her mouth with her fingers but when Bingley looked into her eyes he saw concern rather than condemnation which encouraged him enough to continue.
“As best as I can tell, Darce was hopeful of improving your opinion of him. Your words in Kent shook him to the core but also opened his eyes.”
“But I was wrong about so many things, so angry.” Elizabeth was clearly anguished and Bingley patted her arm again.
“As I understand it, you were misguided in some of your accusations, but not all. I, for one, am deeply grateful that you enlightened him with regard to your sister’s feelings!
” Pleased to see his companion manage a small smile, Charles continued, “You should know that I’ve forgiven him for his interference; it was kindly meant, if poorly conceived. ”
Elizabeth nodded slowly. “I had to consider it for some time after reading his letter but I arrived at the same conclusion.” She looked up.
“But I had thought he knew that? He informed me that he planned to speak to you the instant you returned from Yorkshire and I agreed that such a communication was best not entrusted to the post…”
Bingley was already nodding. “Yes, yes. He still feels an inordinate amount of guilt but I suspect that is the result of having believed he was absolutely correct. You see, Darcy was left with a great many responsibilities when his father died and he takes them very seriously. To find that he was so wrong in his thinking on this matter has left him questioning everything.”
Elizabeth shook her head sadly. “I’d no idea that my words would be taken so seriously. Oh… that I had never opened my mouth at all!”
Table of Contents
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