Page 35 of A Summer House on Arran (Scottish Romances #3)

Kitty’s finger hovered over the send button.

I’m sorry but something has come up. I need to cancel. Kitty.

But she deleted the message, before typing out another.

Do you mind if we cancel? I can’t do this. Kitty x

‘Aargh,’ she wailed in frustration and deleted that one too. It was far too dramatic. It was the fourth time that afternoon she had written a message to cancel their date, if it even was that, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to press send and cancel her plans to see Logan.

The truth was that she was desperate to see him.

Despite that, she had spent the last hour staring out the window in a complete tizz about what to do.

She kept trying to reason with herself that it was no big deal, that they were only going for a drink.

But her stomach was fizzing with nerves, especially when the other voice in her head kept asking if she really wanted to do this.

But she felt as though there were invisible threads pulling her and Logan together despite her attempts to resist.

‘Everything okay?’ Olivia walked into the lounge, rubbing her eyes.

‘Mmm, yeah, sure. How are you feeling?’

‘Much better after a nap. And for talking it through with you. You’re a good listener.’

‘Thanks. If only I could listen to my own advice.’

Olivia plonked herself down on the chaise longue by the window, stretching her legs out along it. ‘How about you talk to me. What’s up?’

Kitty sighed while she considered Olivia’s offer.

She had thought about calling Ellen back home, but she didn’t want to make this into some big drama.

Ellen tended to embellish things and, before she knew it, half her village would think she’d hooked up with the first available man she’d bumped into once Cameron had flown the nest. Maybe she was being a bit unkind, but she wanted to keep this all as low-key as possible.

And sometimes it was easier to talk to people who didn’t know that much about your past. It did help that she’d told Olivia a bit about what had happened to Ryan, which may help her understand why she was reluctant yet also desperate to go on the date.

‘If you don’t mind, that may not be a bad idea.

I’m driving myself mad with all my pros and cons as to what to do. ’

‘Okay, shoot,’ Olivia said, crunching into an apple she had grabbed from the fruit bowl on the coffee table.

‘It’s Logan.’

She smiled and raised an eyebrow. ‘Uh-huh? What about him?’

‘He’s asked me out for a drink.’

Olivia slapped her hand on her thigh. ‘I knew it!’

‘Knew what?’ said a confused Kitty. ‘I don’t think you were in much of a state to notice anything last night.’

Olivia squealed. ‘Not last night, though park that for a minute, we’ll come back to that. I mean, I knew something was going on.’

‘Olivia, nothing has been going on ,’ insisted Kitty, her voice going up a pitch.

‘I think you’re protesting a bit much. I could tell that sparks were flying between you at the falls that day.

Then yesterday — well, my friend, you could practically slice the sexual tension between you with a knife.

It’s just a shame that Sara fell over and hurt her ankle.

Otherwise you could have had your first kiss at the top of Goatfell.

’ She beamed, clearly pleased that she had seen what Kitty had been desperately trying to ignore.

‘Hardly,’ said Kitty. ‘I’m not saying that there wasn’t perhaps a wee frisson of something that first day. But I really tried to pull back.’

‘Why?’ asked Olivia, frowning.

‘Because I don’t want to get involved with anyone.’

Olivia hesitated before swinging her legs round and putting her feet on the floor to face Kitty. ‘But why?’

‘Because,’ said Kitty, ‘the way I feel reminds me of when I met my husband, Ryan.’

‘Oh, wow,’ said Olivia. ‘You have got it bad for this guy, then?’

‘Well, I wouldn’t say that exactly . . . but I can’t face having to deal with any heartache.’

‘Hey,’ said Olivia gently. ‘This is just a drink between friends. You don’t have to marry the guy. Just think of it as a new adventure and a new friend. But, for what it’s worth, I think if you don’t go, Kitty, you’ll regret it.’

Kitty knew she was right.

‘Does he know about Ryan?’ Olivia asked, her face wincing in sympathy.

‘No. It’s not exactly one to throw into a casual chat, is it?’

‘I get that,’ said Olivia. ‘But it’s part of you and your life and your story.’

‘I know.’

‘What would you say if the roles were reversed, and I was asking you what to do?’

‘Oh, you are good at this, Olivia, I’ll give you that. I would say just go along and enjoy the moment. And be yourself.’

‘What else?’ said Olivia encouragingly.

‘It’s not a lifetime commitment. And I would also say, what have you got to lose?’

‘Case closed,’ said Olivia. ‘Now, what are you going to wear?’

* * *

A few hours later, Kitty decided to take the long route to the pub — along Fisherman’s Walk, which skirted the beach and the sea.

Despite Olivia’s suggestion to lend her several floaty dresses, she declined.

She would have felt out of place in chiffon, and it was important to her that she was comfortable and felt like herself.

That’s all she could be. She’d let her hair hang loose over her shoulders and decided on her faded grey jeans and green Converse trainers, a white sleeveless T-shirt and lots of chunky bracelets.

Then she had applied a touch of lip gloss and sprayed herself lightly with perfume.

She threw a light cardigan and a brolly into her bag, in case the weather changed later.

‘You look great,’ said Olivia, giving a low whistle. Olivia was wearing her pyjamas and had just taken a pizza from the oven. ‘Think you’re going to have a more exciting night than me,’ she said wryly.

Kitty was just glad that Olivia seemed a bit brighter and more like herself after the emotional outpouring earlier.

‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,’ called Olivia. ‘In fact, please just forget that I actually said that out loud. I’m not exactly one to be doling out relationship advice.’

Kitty had laughed and hugged her friend. ‘Thank you. I’ll see you later.’

Now, as she made her way along the boardwalk, she inhaled the coconut scent from the yellow gorse bushes and watched the ducks bobbing about in the water, keeping their distance from a couple of huge swans that were elegantly gliding through the sea.

The water was still tonight, and there were a couple of paddleboarders out making the most of the flat conditions.

Although she was nervous, she realised she was also excited about seeing Logan.

She just hoped that things wouldn’t be too weird when they met.

It wasn’t the first date she’d had since Ryan, there had been a few disastrous meetings since then, and the memories made her shudder.

They had completely put her off dating. Focusing on bringing up Cameron had been her priority.

This somehow felt different. It was something that she was looking forward to.

She just hoped they would slip into their easy banter when they met, and things wouldn’t be awkward because they were on a kind of date , if that’s what this even was.

Think of it as a drink between friends, she reminded herself.

As she followed the path onto the sand, she spotted the red funnel of the ferry, which was leaving the port to return to Ardrossan.

She shook her head when she thought just how much had happened since she arrived here.

When she started to near the pub, her breath quickened and the fluttering in her stomach intensified.

She could hear Olivia asking her what she would tell a friend in this situation.

‘I would tell her to breathe and be herself,’ she said aloud, glad that nobody was around now that she was talking to herself.

Didn’t that used to be the first sign of madness?

She walked into the beer garden, her eyes darting around.

She immediately saw Logan, who had just sat down at a wooden table.

He lifted a hand in greeting and smiled warmly at her.

‘Hey, Kitty,’ he said. ‘How are you?’ He stood up and reached to give her a hug.

He wore a pair of dark jeans and a grey T-shirt, and his sunglasses were perched on top of his head. She could smell his familiar scent of soap and spice. ‘Can I get you a drink?’ she offered.

‘Let me get this one,’ he said. ‘What would you like?’

‘A gin and tonic, please.’ It was her safe drink, whereas wine tended to make her overshare, especially when she was nervous.

‘No problem. Give me two ticks.’

She dug her toes into the pale stones that were scattered across the beer garden.

‘Are you digging to Australia?’ said Logan when he reappeared with their drinks.

‘Oops,’ she said. ‘I was miles away there.’

Logan laughed easily. ‘Cheers,’ he said, holding his beer up to her glass.

‘Cheers.’ Kitty took a gulp of her drink. It was cold and refreshing and just what she needed.

‘How is Olivia today?’ said Logan.

‘She was a bit rough this morning, and I left her having pizza on the sofa and watching Netflix. I think she’ll be fine by tomorrow.

’ She didn’t want to betray Olivia’s confidence, but she felt she wanted to give Logan a bit of an explanation as to what had happened.

‘She’s had a bit of a rough time these past few years. ’

Logan put his hands up to stop her. ‘You don’t need to tell me. It’s okay.’

‘I don’t think she would mind me telling you a bit. But it involved a particularly nasty break up with her ex, and she’s staying away from men for the foreseeable.’

He grimaced. ‘I got that sense from what happened on the mountain yesterday. I’m really sorry to hear that.’

‘Anyway,’ said Kitty, keen to steer the conversation away from toxic men and Olivia’s relationship, ‘tell me about you. Have you enjoyed this trip? Are you excited about the next one?’

He rubbed his hand over his jaw, which had a light smattering of stubble.

‘It’s been great, and so good to be back on Arran.

We’ve been so lucky with the weather.’ He took a drink of beer.

‘It can be hard to switch your thoughts to the next tour and location. But I’m really glad I’ll be back here soon. ’

‘And remind me, when is that?’ she asked, trying to make her question sound casual.

‘I’ll be back towards the end of next week.’

She knew he was watching her for a reaction, and she couldn’t help but give a small smile as heat flared across her cheeks.

‘So, what have you got planned now you have the walks out of the way?’ he asked, smiling encouragingly.

‘Well, some art, and Amy’s yoga class . . .’

‘I hear she’s very good at it,’ said Logan. ‘Even James — that’s my friend who’s going out with her — has become hooked, and that says a lot. He can even touch his toes now, which is no mean feat for a stiff ex-rugby player. That’s all down to Amy’s careful tuition.’

‘Well, there’s hope for me yet,’ said Kitty. ‘I’ll let you know how I get on with that. And Olivia and I still want to do Goatfell.’

‘And I know just the man to escort you,’ said Logan softly.

She dropped her gaze from his, unable to stop herself blushing. ‘Sounds good,’ she said quickly. ‘Okay, can I get you a drink? Same again?’ She stood up, feeling completely flustered. Why couldn’t she just be herself? So much for her self-talk earlier.

When she returned to their table, she passed a beer to Logan and sat down.

‘Is everything okay?’ he asked. ‘You seem a bit . . . on edge.’

‘Yes. Actually, no,’ she said. So much for gin and tonic being her safe drink. ‘It’s this whole thing. Being here with you,’ she said. ‘It’s been a while since I had a drink with a bloke who I wasn’t related to.’

Logan smiled reassuringly. ‘There’s no pressure from me at all. Just be yourself. We’re two friends having a drink.’

‘You’re right. That’s all this is. Two friends having a drink. Okay, so let’s just try and have a laugh. That’s what I could do with.’

‘Well, you’ve come to the right place,’ said Logan. ‘My friends often tell me I’m the funniest person they know.’

Kitty rolled her eyes. ‘Of course you are,’ she said. ‘I think they’re pulling your leg.’

When Logan walked her back to Lilybank Cottage later she felt so much more relaxed.

They’d ended up having a fun night after all, and she’d managed not to disgrace herself with any singing, especially when there had been so many opportunities.

He had mentioned so many song titles tonight, but she hadn’t risen to his bait, even when he had unwittingly mentioned he had been all around the world.

That Lisa Stansfield song was one of her favourites, and one she liked to belt out at home.

She didn’t want him running for the hills when he witnessed her questionable musicianship.

‘What are you doing tomorrow?’ she bravely asked as they reached the door of the cottage.

‘I don’t have any firm plans yet,’ he said, his eyes crinkling in amusement.

‘I haven’t had a chance to see Fergus yet. Do you fancy coming to Lamlash with me and taking out a couple of kayaks?’

‘That sounds a perfect plan,’ he said.

‘I’ll text you in the morning and come and pick you up. And thank you for a lovely evening and making me feel at ease. I really enjoyed it.’

‘Anytime,’ he said, leaning towards her and kissing her cheek.

‘Goodnight, Logan,’ she said, watching him as he sauntered back down the path.

Part of her wanted to call him back, so she could kiss him properly.

Yet the other part of her wanted to make the most of this delicious early stage of getting to know him.

But there was a niggle in her stomach, reminding her that she would need to tell him about Ryan. She just didn’t quite know how to.