Page 33 of A Summer House on Arran (Scottish Romances #3)

Kitty could see the hesitation in Olivia’s eyes, and she didn’t break her gaze. Instead she just nodded gently and waited.

‘When I met him, about five years ago, he was very charming and smooth and I fell for him hook, line and sinker. He was a really successful dancer, handsome, and the sort of person that people would just be drawn to when he walked into a room. Everyone loved him. It was hard not to. We were friends at first and I looked up to him. He was almost like a mentor to me. I suppose, looking back, it was all too good to be true. Hindsight’s handy, isn’t it? ’

Kitty nodded and chewed her bottom lip as she waited for Olivia to continue.

‘We had an amazing time together at the start, but then I began to notice things . . .’ She hesitated, dropping her eyes to the ground.

‘What kind of things did you notice?’ asked Kitty.

Olivia lifted her hand to demonstrate. ‘He would squeeze me on the arm, hard, especially when we were out in public together and I didn’t do as he said.

Or if I said something he deemed to be inappropriate.

Then he started to monitor what I ate, especially in the lead up to a tour.

He had no hesitation about telling me that I was starting to look a bit porky and that my costumes wouldn’t fit me.

At the time I thought he was being caring, and now of course I realise he was being controlling.

It wasn’t coming from a loving place.’ She sighed.

Kitty knew she had to hide the shock she felt at what Olivia was sharing with her. She tried to remain grounded, keeping her eyes on Olivia’s.

‘And then there was the money. He kept insisting that we have a joint account together, and I gave in as he went on and on about it constantly. I thought it was because he cared. And he was so charming. I was in love, so I just went along with it. Although I’m so glad that I kept my own bank account too.

I didn’t tell him that. That’s about the only sane thing that I did when I was with him.

And I’m so grateful, otherwise I’d never have got away.

He has everyone fooled. There was no way I could tell anyone.

They would accuse me of being crazy.’ She twirled her finger around in the air and rolled her eyes.

‘People would tell me all the time how lucky I was to have him as my partner. But behind closed doors he completely changed, and the mask slipped. If a friend called me, he would get jealous. When I was out, he would call my cell phone incessantly. Hundreds and hundreds of times a day. It all got too much, so I started to withdraw from my social circle.’ She stopped to wipe away a tear. ‘You must think I’m so stupid.’

‘I don’t at all,’ said Kitty. ‘It’s classic abusive behaviour from a narcissist. And you don’t realise it when you’re in that space. You think you’re going mad.’

Olivia threw her such a look of relief that it was impossible for Kitty not to reach over and draw her into a hug.

‘That’s it, exactly. I thought I was going crazy. I kept thinking it was all my fault and that I needed to fix it. I was embarrassed to tell anyone, and I felt so alone. I just didn’t think my friends would believe me.’

‘What changed?’ asked Kitty.

She smiled sadly. ‘Aunt Trudy was in town, and I was due to see her for lunch the next day. Patrick was also going away the following night for work. He insisted that I should spend the whole day with him, and if I loved him I would put him before my aunt. He said he didn’t like Trudy and she didn’t have my best interests at heart and that I shouldn’t go.

Of course, I made the mistake of arguing back.

I adore my aunt and she has always been my greatest supporter and I will always defend her.

She lives in California, and I don’t get to see much of her anyway.

There was no way I wasn’t going to go and meet her when she was in the neighbourhood. ’

‘What happened?’

‘He said if I went out to meet her then it was a sign that I didn’t love him. I told him to grow up and that I’d had enough. Then he lost his temper and tried to take my phone off me and my keys . . . then . . .’ Her voice trailed away as she choked back a sob of emotion.

‘It’s okay. Just take your time,’ said Kitty. ‘You’re doing really well.’

‘He pushed me down on the bed and he tried to . . . he tried to smother me with a pillow. It was like a red mist had descended and he wasn’t actually there. It was as though something else had taken over his body. Does that make sense?’

Kitty nodded. ‘And what happened? How did you get away?’

‘I really thought that was it. I believed I was going to die. I was screaming and kicking and then the fight went out of me. I thought it was too late and that was my end. That was when he suddenly stopped and got off me. He apologised profusely. Over and over, he kept saying that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to hurt me.

But I know he did. I couldn’t breathe,’ she said, her eyes glazing over.

‘At that point I knew I had to get away. I asked him to give me some space, and he packed his things and went to stay with a friend. I said we would talk when he was back from his work trip in a few days’ time.

But the next day I told my aunt what had happened.

Just knowing that he was away gave me space to think and plan.

Trudy was great and, as I talked to her, I realised if I didn’t go he would kill me. Or I would end up killing myself.’

Kitty felt anger and sadness wash over her. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.

‘Trudy helped me pack up my stuff that day and move it into storage. I booked the first flight I could and that was it. I left with no idea what I would do next other than to have some time away where I could think clearly.’

‘No wonder he was angry,’ said Kitty with a shudder. ‘What you did was very brave, but also very risky.’

‘I know, and I still can’t quite believe I found the strength to do it. I keep thinking he’ll find me, I’m still petrified at the thought . . . Yet despite that, it was so hard to walk away from him. I felt like such a failure.’

Kitty nodded understandingly. ‘There’s a real sense of shame around it, isn’t there?’

‘Yes, I feel so embarrassed about it all. Despite what happened, I feel ashamed.’

‘You shouldn’t feel like that. This could happen to anyone. But what you’re feeling is normal.’

‘Is it?’

Kitty nodded.

‘But how do you know?’

‘Remember I told you I was a counsellor?’

‘Of course. I forgot that I’m talking to a pro.’

‘I’m not sure about that,’ she said kindly. ‘But I did support several women affected by domestic abuse in my time as a counsellor. And what you’re describing is very common.’

‘I guess that makes me feel a bit better, knowing that I’m not alone, but sad that it’s so common.’

‘I agree,’ said Kitty softly.

Olivia swatted a fly away. ‘Thanks for listening, Kitty. It’s hard to talk about but I do feel better. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.’

‘Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing and so brave to have left and to have travelled halfway across the world.’

‘I know. Who would have thought I would have ended up here, with you? I’m so grateful.’

‘Me too,’ said Kitty.

Olivia groaned. ‘I think I’ll take a couple of headache tablets and go back to bed for a while. All the walking and talking and alcohol has left me a bit jaded.’

‘Of course. You’ve had an emotional time. You must be exhausted. Go rest, and shout if you need me.’

Olivia reached over to hug her tightly. ‘Thank you.’ She gathered her dishes together and made to leave the table.

‘Leave them, I’ll sort it,’ said Kitty.

‘It’s fine. I need to try and salvage my reputation as a housemate. I don’t want you thinking that I’m slovenly as well.’ She gave a thin laugh.

Kitty smiled and watched as she disappeared back into the house.

Kitty’s head was a tumble of feelings and emotions as she began processing all that Olivia had told her.

She couldn’t quite get her head around the awful trauma Olivia had been through.

What a nightmare. She wasn’t sure what would come next for her friend, but she was glad she’d found her way to Arran.

At least she would be safe here until she sorted out the next steps.