Page 5

Arden

I am on the verge of a panic attack, pacing the bathroom. Everything is hitting me all at once, and I feel like I cannot breathe. Everyone is out there waiting on me so we can tell them we got married, but I might actually barf. Paranoia and every “what if?” situation possible is flooding my brain all at once, and I can’t make it stop. I just need one fucking second of a reprieve to be able to slow down my thinking before it spirals into something darker, but I can’t. I can’t catch myself, and I need help. I have never wanted help in these moments before, but I need it. I need help out of the dark, so I pick up my phone and send a quick text to Levi.

Help

On my way. Breathe!

That is the most annoyingly helpful thing he says to me. Like, of course, I need to fucking breathe… but I’m not. I’m not breathing. I am holding my breath, terrified of what might happen if I let myself feel this panic. The door to the master bathroom opens and I instantly start crying. He shuts and locks the door before lifting me up to sit me on the counter. When he wraps me in a tight hug, I disappear in his arms.

“Breathe with me, Arden. Focus on my breathing,” he encourages, rubbing my back. I sniffle and nod as I try as hard as I can to only focus on the rise and fall of his chest. I synchronize my breathing with his, so I rapidly calm down and my body relaxes. He holds me for a little longer before pulling back and wiping my face.

“Thank you,” I say.

“It was all you, baby. I just kept you company,” he says. “What’s going on?”

“Every bad thing that could possibly happen is playing through my head and I can’t make it stop,” I say.

“Do you regret it?” he asks.

“No. Not at all.”

“Then fuck what anyone else thinks, baby,” he tells me. “We’ve got each other, and we will weather every single storm together, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I sniff.

Levi kisses and picks me up from the counter before taking me out of the bathroom. When he sets me down, I smile.

“What?” he asks.

“Fuck me,” I say. “Fast and hard, because we don’t have much time.”

Levi nearly rips my shorts off getting them down. When I step out of my panties, he pushes me back onto the bed and brings my legs to his shoulders. He takes a second to pull his cock out before slamming it into me as he covers my mouth. I scream against his hand as he proceeds to fuck me as hard as he can, chasing down his orgasm like our lives depend on it. He leans in and practically folds me in half and pushes even deeper. We both start to come together and I am shaking as he drains his cock deep inside of me.

“Fuck,” I pant. “Holy fuck.”

“You good?” he laughs as he leans down to kiss me.

“You, sir, are so goddamn brutal, and I love it. No matter where we are, Imma need you to fuck me like that every time I get paranoid or panic.”

“I’ve got you,” he says as he pulls me up and goes to the bathroom to get what he needs to clean me. When he gets back, he takes his time cleaning me before helping me get redressed. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” I say with a smile. “Let’s do this.”

We make sure we look presentable before going down to the living room where the others are. “Good timing. Mom and Dad just pulled in,” Jett says before grinning at me. “Fix your sex hair, girl. You look like you just got railed.”

“Did y’all really disappear just to fuck?” Wilder asks.

“Leave them alone. They’re newlyweds,” Mom says happily. “Gotta give me a grandbaby somehow.”

“Macie is giving you one,” I laugh.

“One each, girl. Come on now,” she says with a smile.

“You mean come in?” Macie asks.

“Macie,” I laugh.

“Definitely come in,” Levi says.

“Mhmm,” I say, smiling as I lean up on my tiptoes to kiss him. “Ready?”

“No,” he sighs.

Jett opens the door and a couple walks in. They instantly tear up as the woman darts for Levi. “My baby boy,” she cries as she hugs him tight.

“Hey Momma,” Levi says softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“No,” she says tearfully, pulling away to grab his face and pull him down. “You needed your space so you could find yourself again. I knew you would come back.”

“I was so damn ashamed of how much I was drinking,” Levi says.

“Son, we all grieve differently. You found your way out, and that’s all that matters. Charlotte would be proud of you,” his father says. “Maybe I shouldn’t mention her in front of your girlfriend.”

“It’s okay,” I smile. “I like hearing about them.”

“Wife,” Levi says.

“What?” his mother asks.

“Wife… We got married today. Jett, and her brother and sister-in-law came,” he says.

“Oh, that’s amazing, Levi. I’m so happy for you,” she says before hugging me. “Thank you, sweetie. So, so much.”

“You’re welcome,” I say sweetly. “He’s a good man.”

“He’s also trying to knock her up,” Jett says.

“Yes. I need another grandchild to spoil,” his mother says.

“Her brother and her best friend are also expecting,” Levi says.

“Oh good. I’ll spoil that one too,” Levi’s mom says happily.

“That reminds me. Do you still have their stuff in storage?” Levi asks.

“Of course,” she says. “Why?”

“Just some things I want to show Arden,” he says. “I think it’s time I sort through things, too.”

“Dumb question. Is this the same house?” I ask.

“No,” Levi says. “That house was sold about a year later to the bank. They tore it down and the land was used to build a housing development.”

“Ah. Okay,” I say.

“Dinner should be ready,” Levi says. “Let’s eat and catch up.”

Everyone moves to the dining room and I help Levi bring dinner out. Once we are all sitting, the tension seems to melt away. We talk and laugh as if we have all known each other our entire lives. This is the most at peace I have ever seen Levi, and it truly warms my heart to witness. Macie and I clean up after dinner while the others chat, but eventually we make our way into the living room to meet up with the others.

“Hey,” Levi says with a confused look.

“Hi. What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Where were you? I didn’t even realize…”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl,” I laugh. “Macie and I cleaned up the kitchen. You’ve been busy catching up.”

“Arden, you didn’t have to do that,” he says, pulling me into his lap to sit.

“Maybe. Maybe not, but I did. Don’t worry about me; just catch up with your family, sweetie.”

“God, you are just like her,” Jett sighs.

“Charlotte?” I ask.

“Yeah,” Jett says.

“I don’t know if it’s appropriate to compare Arden to Charlotte,” Heather, Levi’s mother, says.

“Eh. As long as she’s okay with it,” Parker, Levi’s father, says.

“I don’t mind,” I laugh. “What did she look like?”

“You want to see her?” Levi asks me.

“I do. Melody too,” I say. “If she got her attitude from her daddy, I bet she was stubborn as shit.”

“Funny,” Levi says with a smirk as he tickles my side. He pulls his phone out and pulls me back to lie against his chest. I watch as he navigates through his pictures until he selects one.

The picture is of a younger Levi, a beautiful blonde woman with bright blue eyes, and a little girl who is the spitting image of her mother. Looking at them, it fucking hurts. I never knew them, but knowing they died the way they did… it’s heartbreaking. “They were beautiful,” I say softly. “Melody looks identical to Charlotte.”

“Yeah,” Levi says blankly. I turn slightly, and he is lost. I lift his chin to make him look at me, and I watch as the memories slip away and he comes back to me.

“There you are,” I saw sweetly.

“I’m sorry. I…”

“Stop apologizing, Levi,” I say, cupping his cheek.

“Thank you for pulling me back. I haven’t looked at a picture of them since I drank last.”

“I cannot imagine how much it hurts,” I say. “But Levi… They are still with you. Charlotte and Melody are every ray of sunshine and every cloudy day. They might not be here in physical form, but they are looking down on you and I have zero doubt that they are so damn proud of how far you’ve come, baby. You served your country, survived being shot, came home and lost your family to a horrific attack, and you still survived. You battled against yourself and the memories for a decade, but you still survived. You built a company, and you found your way to the surface. I haven’t lost a spouse or a child, but I had a part of my soul stolen from me. I know what drowning feels like, and you survived, Levi. Be proud of that and never apologize for getting lost in those memories because love it or hate it, it’s a part of you now. We will never get over the things that have happened to us, but we will learn how to navigate better through the pain every day.”

Levi grabs my face and kisses me hard and for a moment, the world disappears. When we pull away, I can’t help but smile at him. “You are amazing, Arden.”

“I’m not amazing for telling you the truth,” I laugh. “We leave an imprint on this earth that lasts long after death.”

“Despite the constant reminder that you and Charlotte share qualities, you two are so different,” he tells me. “I don’t ever want you to think that you are a replacement or a surrogate, Arden. You are your own person, I just happen to have a thing for sassy little brats with hearts of gold. ”

“Well… You and Caleb are nothing alike,” I say. “He was trash in bed and had a small dick. Hey… maybe that’s why I wasn’t injured. Not much to injure me with.”

“That is so dark,” Levi laughs. “I aim to please, my love.”

“We will have a wonderful life together then,” I say, kissing him.

“Fuck, you two are adorable,” Wilder says. “I want to hate this and be a controlling big brother, but… I love it.”

“You love that your sister is being properly railed for a change?” Macie asks.

“I mean, if she’s going to do it, I’d rather it not suck for her,” he shrugs.

“Oh, it definitely doesn’t suck,” I laugh.