Page 58 of A Simple Truth (the Freckled Fate #2)

57

FINNLEAH

I was splattered on the ground, hoping I wouldn’t pass out as a sharp breath cut through my lungs. The bright blue sky blinded me, and I closed my eyes, panting.

“You okay?” Gia managed to ask between her own ragged breaths.

“If I don’t die within the next five minutes, I think so?” I muttered. The few that could, chuckled, lazily making their way to the kitchens for dinner. “I just need a moment to lie down, you know,” I replied as blood rushed in my ears.

The short bursts of late afternoon wind did very little to chill my overheated skin.

“You are holding back.” A shadow covered my face, and I opened my eyes to see Zora hovering over me.

“I just fought nine of them at the same time,” I protested, “And you think I’m holding back? Nine!” I repeated, astonished.

“And yet, you are holding back. Why?” she insisted.

“I almost won. Had it not been for that sneaky Yanush combo, I’d have taken them all out,” I argued.

“Precisely. But you lost . You are a Justice Wielder and you’ve lost to regular Destroyers.”

“The Ten are far from regular Destroyers…” I grumped back as I rolled my eyes, sitting up.

“You still flinch at the fire. You’ve gotten better at hiding it, but I can see it. You stifle the fire, you wield it. You can control it. But at times, there is nothing but sheer panic and horror in your eyes. And when that happens, you lose. Like today.”

I turned away from Zora’s piercing stare, unsure how to reply. Unsure how to explain to her that each time I dipped further into my powers, I had to face the haunting memory that scarred me. That sometimes, it wasn’t about lasting long enough to endure the blazing, fiery attack of the Ten, but how long I could fight off the lashing memories in my mind, the devastated screams, my screams. That in that moment, I didn’t care if I lost or won, I just wanted them to stop.

“You talk in your dreams sometimes you know,” she said and I gulped. “Though, I think the better word for it would be scream.”

“I am sorry if I keep you up,” I replied, the muscles in my jaw tense. “My dreams are not something I can control, unfortunately, but feel free to wake me up.”

“Oh, we’ve tried. You usually just roll over to the side and continue sleeping.” Zora chuckled. “But that’s not the issue, Finn.” Her voice was laced with gentle seriousness. “In my thirty years of life, I’ve seen enough soldiers that I can definitely tell when one trains and fights with a purpose.” She hooked the blades and the chain at her belt. “Sooner or later, you will have to face the demons within.” She gave me a kind smile. “Or they will take over.”

I didn’t reply to her, and she strolled back to camp, leaving me laying alone in the field.

I knew she was right. I knew it and yet, it didn’t change the fact that I had lost everything to the Destroyer’s fire. I didn’t get to bury the woman, who I considered my mother, or give the last kiss to the person I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. All because of the Destroyer’s fire.

But I was one of them now. I watched my family be gutted, only to realize that I was the one holding the knife all long.