Page 9

“Please, let me speak first,” he cut in, coming a step closer. “Yesterday, when my son and his wife announced they were to have a child, I realized that a new chapter was opening in my life, one that would be different from the one I lived as a young man. Seeing Branwen becoming a mother will have made you think the same, I think.”

Carys could only nod. It was true that hearing the announcement had made her feel life had suddenly changed pace. And she had started to ask herself questions about what she wanted. But none of the answers had involved Richard.

Hearing no protest, he pushed on. “You and I are of an age and like each other. We already live in the same place. I think we could find a way of ending our days together.”

At any time, Carys would have found it hard to hear such a declaration. With the memory of the kiss she and James had shared the day before, it was excruciating. For a moment she had hoped to have a future with him . But then she’d ruined it all by reminding him of his losses and forcing him to explain why he would never consider being with a woman again.

Still, perhaps the damage was not irreparable. Perhaps she could make him see that she was someone with whom he need not fear anything. She would have to find a way to convince him, bare her own pain if necessary. For now, though, she had a more pressing problem to deal with.

Richard.

She looked at him, utterly at a loss. How could she respond to his offer without letting her dismay show? Because she was about to refuse, of that she had no doubt. It was not only the fact that she had no real feelings for him that guided her decision. The nature of his offer grated. He sounded as if she had no other option but to accept him on pain of ending up all alone and unhappy, he seemed to suggest that no one else would want her, he made her feel like a woman past her best, with little left to hope for before death finally claimed her.

If he wanted to woo her, he was going about it the wrong way.

Really, the contrast between the two men was shocking. Richard had not even touched her while he talked of a future together, James had not promised her anything but he had kissed her as if his life depended on it. Richard was appealing to her reason, seeing her as a companion with whom to share his old age, James had attacked her senses, treated her like a woman still at the height of her beauty, and made her body explode in pleasure.

She took a step backward and felt the wall against her shoulders, blocking her retreat. The lord have mercy on her. How would she get out of this without hurting Richard’s feelings? He was not a bad man, but he was not the man for her, she had never been more certain of anything.

“I thank you for the offer but I’m not sure we would be suited to?—”

“You haven’t allowed me to try to persuade you, that’s why.” He caught up with her and, wrapping an arm about her waist, drew her to him. “I think you should allow me to show you how it would be between us before you say anything.”

And he did just that. He showed her exactly how she imagined things would be between them. Reasonable. Unexciting. Dull. His kiss was gentle, and perfectly pleasant, but all Carys could think was that this man would never do anything to shock or even surprise her. He would not expose her to his gaze before pleasuring her, he would not lick her as if he could not get enough of what her body had to offer, he would not compliment her on her taste afterward.

Did she want such a companion? The answer was clear in her mind. She did not, not when a man like James Mortimer was available. She shook her head. No, it was not even that. Even if she hadn’t spent a scandalous afternoon with him the other day, even if they had not shared a fiery kiss the previous morning, she would not have been tempted by a life with Richard, who could only ever be a friend. With Dewi she’d had love and passion, she could not settle for anything less now, when nothing obliged her to even be with someone. Why shackle herself to someone who would never make her heart flutter or her body hum in desire?

She drew back as gently as she could, and he let her go. Which only proved she was right to think they would never suit. If he was not even prepared to fight to keep her in his arms, he would never do anything to give her the impression she was the center of his life.

“Richard. Please. This is not a good idea, and you know it.” Would that he realized it himself! Surely he’d felt how passionless their kiss had been?

“You haven’t even had time to think about?—”

He stopped mid-sentence and his gaze flickered to a place to her left. Carys turned to see what had caught his attention and her heart dropped to her knees.

James was standing in the door frame, the expression on his face dark as thunder.

“I think Carys has made her wishes clear, wouldn’t you say?” he growled. “She doesn’t want you. Let her go.”

That wasn’t exactly what she had said, but now was not the time to point it out. Because it was the truth anyway.

She hastened to the door, sensing the men were about to lash out at each other. Fleeing was the coward way out, but she couldn’t bear to be the reason for the two friends’ disagreement.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t fight on my account, it’s n-not worth it,” she stammered, before running away.

Once he and Richard were alone, James planted himself in front of the carpenter. Tension sizzled, filling the whole room, but neither of them moved. They were almost of a height, and both boasted athletic physiques. Because of it, the outcome of a fight between them was hard to predict. Still, James sensed he would emerge the victor, because of what was at stake.

Carys.

“If we were twenty or thirty years younger I believe you would have planted your fist in my face by now,” Richard said after a while.

James knew he most likely looked about to do just that, even if he was doing his best to suppress the urge. When he had walked into the great hall and seen Carys and his friend locked in an intimate embrace, his stomach had flipped in his chest at what he’d thought was a betrayal. Only the morning before, he had kissed her, and confided his deepest, most painful secret, surely she could have waited more than a day before throwing herself into another man’s arms?

Then once the red mist had dissipated, he’d noticed how her arms were limp by her sides, how she appeared stunned rather than lost to desire and he’d understood that not only had she not initiated the kiss, but she was not stirred by it. There was no lust in her, or even interest. By the time she had angled her body away from Richard and told him it was not a good idea, James had understood that she did not want him.

This was a misunderstanding, nothing more. He had no reason to be mad at Carys, or to rip Richard to pieces. And so he would do neither, as tempting as it might be.

He walked over to the window and looked into the distance in a bid to master his temper. With luck, the peaceful view at his feet would help restore some calm into him. It took a while but when he felt himself again and able to talk to his friend, he turned to face him.

“The fact that I didn’t hit you has nothing to do with our age.” James ran a hand through his hair. “I would like nothing more than to ensure your mouth is too mangled to allow you to impose your kisses on Carys from now on. But unfortunately for me, I think your intentions toward her are honorable.”

If the carpenter had been too forceful, or thought to take advantage of Carys in any way, he would have made him regret his actions, but it had been nothing like that. The kiss had been too tame, too respectable to be threatening in any way. If Richard had only been after a meaningless night in her arms, James might have taken exception to it but he could tell that wasn’t the case. The offer had been for far more.

“Of course my intentions are honorable,” Richard huffed. “Who do you take me for? I want to offer her a second chance at life. Carys is a remarkable woman, and has been alone for far too long. She deserves to be happy.”

“Yes,” James said through gritted teeth. This, at least, they could agree on. She was a remarkable woman, and she did deserve happiness.

“Alas, she’s not interested in what I have to offer. ’Tis clear she has her mind set on another man.”

James’ heart skipped a beat. She did? Bloody hell. He’d only just discovered Richard was a contender in Carys’ affection, and now he was told someone else was lurking in the shadows? Would he have to have words with all the men at Sheridan Manor? Or was this mysterious suitor residing in the village?

“Who?” he growled, already knowing he would throttle the man if he dared toy with her. The blacksmith? The baker? Not Luke’s new farm hand, surely?

Richard threw him a look he could only have described as incredulous. “Are you really that blind? You, of course.”

A riot of emotions assaulted James all at once, causing him to stare at his friend. Incredulity, pride, anger, joy, possessiveness, fear. In the end, anger won. It was easier that way, safer.

“You mean you offered to make her your … ” He stopped, not knowing what word to use exactly. Was Richard ready to marry her or had he merely proposed a mutually beneficial arrangement? He didn’t know. “You kissed her, all the while thinking she wanted to be with me?”

He planted himself in front of his friend, just like he had earlier. Though this time it would be clear he would pounce at the least provocation, Richard pushed at his chest, not in the least impressed.

“Yes, I did, because, you big lout, she might want you, but you do not want her , do you? Or at least not enough to offer her the second chance you agreed so readily that she deserves. And why? Because you’re too much of a coward to admit to what you feel for her!” There was another push. But James was too stunned to retaliate. “So what do you want? For her to spend the rest of her life alone, at the mercy of passing men who think they can amuse themselves with her? To be unloved and unprotected? Don’t tell me you’re such a selfish bastard!”

“I … ”

What could he say? He wasn’t sure. Did he want Carys? Yes. Was he a coward? Probably, because he refused to admit his feelings to her, and even to himself. Was he selfish? Definitely, since the idea of her belonging to another man, or even going to his bed for a harmless dalliance, ripped at his guts despite the sorry truth that he had not promised her anything. He could not be with her, and yet he didn’t want her to be with anyone else.

It was madness.

Only the day before he had confided in her about the pain of his losses, hoping she would understand why he could not be with her, or at least why he needed time to accept this new development. And before he’d had time to even try, he’d been forced by Richard’s actions to take a stand, and make a decision.

James had never liked being cornered and he liked it even less now, when it was crucial he did not make any mistakes.

“Let it be. This is none of your concern.” He wanted nothing more than to put an end to this painful conversation. Why had he felt the need to interrupt the confrontation? Carys had never been in any danger. She had made her wishes clear and the carpenter would never have pushed her beyond what she was comfortable with. His intervention hadn’t been needed.

“No. Unfortunately, Carys has made it clear that what happened to her wasn’t my concern. And so it seems that I, too, am destined to spend the rest of my life alone.”

Richard sounded so bitter that the remainder of James’ anger faded away.

He sighed, knowing his friend was more than owed another chance at happiness himself, having lost the love of his life without having had the opportunity of living with her. James’ wife had died too early and he had endured his share of trials but he had at least had a number of blissful years with Joanne. Richard had only spent one week with Rose, Matthew’s mother, before fate had wrenched them apart.

But perhaps all was not lost.

“My friend, it would seem I am not the only blind one around here,” he said slowly. As long as they were talking about someone else’s inadequacies, he had no problem carrying on the discussion.

“What does that mean?”

It was James’ turn to look incredulous. “You do not have to spend the rest of your life alone if you don’t want to. Or have you not seen the way Avice looks at you?”

“Avice? The cook?”

“Do you know any other? She’s been fawning after you since the day you arrived.” Richard was still blinking, stunned by what was evidently news for him, but James knew he was not mistaken. He had known the cook for years and the infatuation was obvious to him. The woman was smitten. “I was wondering why you’d grown so fat. ’Twill be all the tarts she makes for you, I’m thinking. The rest of us are not so lucky. Not that the food is bad, of course, she’s the best cook we’ve ever had at Sheridan Manor. I particularly like her pigeon pies. I have no idea what she puts in them but I have never tasted better ones. Sage perhaps? Or sweet onions?”

He was blabbering on because he could see that Richard had been struck by his revelation and he wanted to give him time to recover. After a while, he did.

“Avice?” The carpenter still sounded dazed but not displeased. On the contrary. “Do you think so?”

“I don’t think so, I know so.” James slapped him on the shoulder. Really, how had the man not seen anything? “And now that I’ve told you, you will see it also.”

“Well, it would seem that we are a sad pair of idiots, because neither of us can see what is staring at us in the face.”

“Yes. It would seem we are.”

Because now he’d heard Richard’s assertion that Carys was interested in him, everything made sense. It was the only way to explain her reaction to his kiss, the only reason she would have admitted out loud to being unable to forget what they had done on the beach. Even more to the point, he guessed she had only allowed him to touch her in that manner because of the attraction she felt. She would have pushed him away otherwise, like she had Richard.

Something would have to change, now that his eyes had been opened.

He would have to stop being a sad idiot and be a man once more.