Page 14

Chapter Ten

“ A re you leaving already?”

Carys understood she had spoken out loud again when James gave a side smile. He was carrying a blanket and what looked like provisions for the road. Had he come to say goodbye before taking Margaret home? Was that what it was?

Her stupid heart skipped a beat at the idea of watching him ride away. Foolishly, she had hoped he would come to his senses and ask someone else to take his sister-in-law home. Of course, he would do no such thing. He would consider it his duty to see her safe. Regardless of what she had done, she was Joanne’s sister. That was enough to ensure his protection. After what had happened, there was no chance he would stay in her village, much less in her cottage, but still the idea of him going away disturbed Carys. What if he fell ill again and never recovered? What if he met someone while he was away? What if he?—

“No, I’m not leaving today. Margaret will have to spend another day as her prisoner in her room because before I go, there is something I need to do. It’s most important.”

“Oh?”

Carys berated herself for the most uninspired answer in the world but she did not seem to have the presence of mind to say anything else. Fortunately, James didn’t seem to mind her lack of originality, or even notice it.

“Yes.” He gestured to the items in his hands. “I’m taking you to the beach.”

It was not a question, but a statement. And there was only one thing she could answer.

“Yes. Please.”

A moment later, they were gone.

Without even discussing the possible options, they took the same horses they had taken the other day, and went to the same spot in the bay. It was a glorious day. The sky stretched above them, as blue as she imagined Heaven might be, and the water appeared to have been strewn with a myriad of sparkling diamonds. The beauty of the scene made Carys’ heart sing. Why had she waited so long to discover the sea? She already knew it would be a long-lasting passion of hers and she would be back as often as she could.

Disbelief made her shake her head. Was she really falling for something new so late in life? It would appear so.

The thought, inevitably, made her look at James, who was tying the horses to the same cluster of trees they had used the first time they had come and everything within her bloomed.

Yes, perhaps she was falling in love.

It was different from what had happened with Dewi. With her husband, she had known from the start they were made for each other. She had not asked herself any questions, not wondered if being with him was a good idea or if he shared her feelings. There had been no hesitation about what the future might bring for them, no self-doubting. For someone who had been a somewhat shy child, it had been a liberation to be certain of something for once, and simply act on it. Rushing headlong into the relationship with the impetuosity of youth had been the obvious thing to do. And during their marriage, Dewi had allowed her to blossom into the confident, mature woman she was now.

Being with a man who loved her no matter what she did or said had freed her in more ways than one and, decades later, she was still reaping the benefits.

Perhaps wisdom was simply an advantage of growing older, but she was a different person than the girl she had been, more secure in herself and what she wanted or didn’t want. And because of this new self-knowledge, she recognized that James was destined to play a role in her life, and she had the honesty to acknowledge to herself that she wanted him to.

The difference in personalities between him and Dewi made it easy for her to accept what she felt for James, as she didn’t feel she was comparing one to the other. One had been a storm, the other was like gentle rain. The intensity was different, but the result on a plant waiting to bloom was the same. The outpouring of water allowed it to thrive.

It was time. She had been dry for far too long.

“Shall we?” she asked once James had secured the horses to the tree.

“Yes.”

He followed her to the edge of the water. She reddened when he spread the blanket in the spot he’d chosen the day he’d first taken her to the beach—and catapulted her straight to the stars. The look he threw her made it clear he had hoped to reawaken her memory. As if she could have forgotten such a thing.

“Are you going to dip your toes in again today?”

“Yes.” Carys squared off to him. “And I want to go wade in the water this time.”

There would be no hesitating. From now on she would live her life to the full. After Dewi’s death she had found solace in her role as mother and it had been enough to satisfy her, but now her daughters were grown and they didn’t need her in the same way. Each had their own lives. It was time she thought of herself again. Last year she had left her country and started to build the second part of her life away from all she knew. It could have been scary, but it was actually freeing. If she wanted something, she could just take it, for who would stop her? No one. Hadn’t she reflected only a moment ago that she was no longer the shy little girl she’d once been but a woman at ease with her needs and desires? It was one of the good things that came with age.

It brought you perspective, and the will to focus on what mattered.

If she wanted to take something, she would take it. She was not accountable to anyone.

“I will go in the water,” she repeated, steeling herself. It would be as cold as last time, she supposed but no colder than the lake she was used to.

“You don’t know how to swim.” James sounded amused rather than trying to dissuade her.

“No. But you do. You will hold me.”

“Will I?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t even blink. “Yes, I will.”

They stripped down to their undershirts with the ease of long acquaintances, of people who had nothing to hide and were comfortable with one another. There was no embarrassment, no hint of teasing. There was nothing sexual in this disrobing. They were simply getting ready for a swim together. Well, a wade at the very least.

When they were ready, James held out his hand to her and gave a curt order, as was his wont. “Come.”

She took his hand and followed him. They entered the water and walked steadily on until they were fully submerged. It was the only way to beat the cold. If they hesitated, they would not make it, and she did not want to be defeated on the first try.

Once the water reached to her shoulders Carys knew a moment of panic. This was very different from being in the tranquil waters of the lake by the village. James had crouched down to be at her level, and he was still holding her hands, for which she was glad because between the movement of the waves and the shifting of the sand under her feet, she was worried about going under. But with him holding her securely, she would be fine.

“Wouldn’t you like to go farther out?” she asked nonetheless. This could not hold much interest for him, who could make the most of the vast expanse stretching before him. “You could leave me here and go have a swim.”

“No. I’m exactly where I want to be.”

The answer was so perfect she sagged a little. Just then, a more forceful wave crashed against her, catching her on the chin. She let out a gasp when water sprayed her lips—and tongue. “Oh! But it’s … ”

“It’s what?” James cocked a brow.

“The water … ” She spluttered. “It tastes of salt! It’s revolting!”

For a brief moment he stared at her, as if trying to make sense of what she had said, and then—then he burst out laughing. Carys looked on in amazement as he threw his head back and sent his deep, throaty laughter to the sky like an offering. James Mortimer was laughing. It was something she had never seen before and it was wonderful. It was thanks to her, which made it even more wonderful.

She wanted to pluck that delicious sound from his lips, and swallow it. When the impulse became impossible to resist, she threw herself into his arms and kissed him.

After the initial shock, James lifted her into his arms to bring the kiss to a new level of passion, urging her to wrap her arms about his neck and her legs around his waist in support. Not worried about the strain imposed on him, knowing that in the water she would weigh next to nothing, Carys complied. It was a shocking position, there was no denying it. His hands were cradling her buttocks and with their undergarments wet and clinging to their skin, it felt almost as if they were naked. She could feel him, hot and hard, between her thighs.

His tongue licked, his teeth nipped, his lips caressed. The rest of him was not idle. His throat rippled with his grunts of pleasure, his stomach tensed and contracted every time he adjusted his footing on the sand, his hands kneaded her flesh.

It was perfect.

This man, this moment, this kiss was perfect. It tasted of salt, of desire, of joy. She knew then that when he came back from Margaret’s village, they would address what was between them. And she knew they would be of one mind. People did not kiss like this unless they wanted to be together.

After a long moment, James let her go. His eyes were gleaming in the sunlight. A droplet of water had landed on his chin, just under his mouth, as if to taunt her. She licked it away and made a grimace. Too salty. She’d already forgotten.

James’ lip curled at her reaction. “Forgive me for not telling you about the salt. I never thought to warn you.”

Of course, he wouldn’t have thought of mentioning something so obvious to him, in the same way she wouldn’t think of warning someone eating pottage that it was hot. “You’re quite forgiven.”

Would they have kissed if she’d known the water was salty? She couldn’t be sure, since she had thrown herself at him in reaction to his laugh. And it had been the best, most heartfelt kiss she had shared with anyone since she’d lost her husband. It had been worth a mouthful of briny water.

“Will you wait for me, Carys?” James murmured against her temple. He was still cradling her in his arms and, despite the cold, she was loath to break the embrace.

“I will.” Of course she would. “And in the meantime, I will learn to swim.”

He smiled. “Just make sure not to come on your own. The sea can be quite treacherous, as you can imagine.”

It warmed her that he didn’t try to dissuade her, object to her being seen in a state of undress by another man or even simply forbid her to come, as many men she knew might do. Instead, he was encouraging her. “I’ll be careful.”

“I’ll be looking forward to seeing your progress when I return. Now, come. Let’s make the most of the sun to get you warmed up.”

The following day at dawn, James left with Margaret. After her fit of madness of the other day, the woman seemed oddly subdued, willing to obey his instructions without comment. It was as if she had accepted she had lost him for good, and had no fight left in her.

One could only hope.

A small group of people had assembled in front of the barbican to bade them goodbye. James couldn’t help a shudder. He didn’t want to leave, not now, not when he could still taste the salt from the sea, mixed with Carys’ sweetness, on his tongue.

After their kiss, he had taken her back to the blanket to dry and sat as far away from her as possible. Though sorely tempted, he had not dared do what he’d been aching to do and tumble her onto her back to devour her like he had the other day. This time she wouldn’t have allowed him to get away with not reaching his own release, and he was still not ready for that. He needed to put his life and thoughts in order before he attempted to do what he had shied away from for so long. He already knew he would not find it an issue to perform with Carys, the way it had been with Joanne in the last few years of their marriage. His manhood definitely responded to her proximity, ignoring what his mind was telling him. His body was aching for the pleasure only a woman’s softness could offer. His possession of her, when it came, would be complete.

Which meant he had to be sure he had mastered his fears before he attempted it, because it wouldn’t be fair to her.

To his relief, she had not made any move to provoke him nor asked anything from him. She was giving him the time he needed.

“I will be as quick as I can, but it might be a month or more before I’m back.” He did his best to address everyone, instead of staring at Carys. They had said their goodbyes the day before at the beach, in private. It had been the best way, as he didn’t want to betray any emotion that would cause suspicion amongst the people at Sheridan Manor.

He knew she would be waiting for him, it was all that mattered.

“You take the time you need,” Matthew told him, the same thing he’d told him when he’d left the year before. Aye, but so much had happened since then … Now he had more reasons than ever to want to hasten back home.

“Just make sure you’re back to meet your grandchild in the summer. He will need all his grandparents by his side when the time comes,” Branwen added, cradling her rounded stomach.

The new lady of the manor had started to show and had never looked better. James smiled his thanks for her kind words, then stiffened when Margaret let out a scoff from behind him, unable to keep her venom in.

“Look at you holding yourself so proudly for doing nothing more than opening your legs and letting your husband rut on top of you, my lady .” In her mouth the two words sounded like an insult. “I’ll grant you that the man’s more attractive than most, but you should?—”

“Silence!”

James had never slapped a woman in his life, or even felt the urge to, but his fingers were itching something fierce right now. If she said anything else he would not be responsible for his actions. To think he’d believed her subdued!

Before he could say anything else, Carys planted herself in front of Margaret.

“Say one more word to my daughter and I will hit you. Hard,” she hissed. “People with mangled jaws can’t talk, can they? Nor can they use their mouths to rape unconscious men,” she added, so low only he and Margaret heard. “Maybe I should hit you, and make sure no one else has to suffer because of you.”

The smaller woman blanched, understanding that this was no idle threat, and he could not blame her. Every inch the protective mother, Carys was bristling with anger, and magnificent with it. James’ body surged. Had they been alone, he would have swept her into his arms and kissed her until she couldn’t breathe to express his admiration. As they weren’t, he merely nodded at her.

Matthew stepped forward in turn, his face a mask of barely controlled fury. “Word of warning. If you ever dare show your face at Sheridan Manor ever again, I will personally deal with you. And I can guarantee you will regret ever bothering James, or talking to my wife the way you just did. Are we clear?”

There was such intent in his voice that Margaret took fright. She turned to him with wide, pleading eyes. James glared back at her. How dare she suppose he would take her defense after all she’d done to him? Never had he come so close to hating anyone.

“Don’t think for a moment I will help you,” he said between his teeth. “If you don’t want to travel home on your own, you will apologize to her ladyship immediately.”

Margaret lowered her gaze to the ground and turned to face Branwen, “I’m sorry for talking about your husband rutting on top of you. I imagine it was nothing like that.”

It was not the most gracious apology James had ever heard but he didn’t have the will to insist. He just wanted to be on his way so as to return as quickly as possible.

“Would you rather I asked a guard to escort the woman back home?” Matthew asked, placing a hand on his shoulder in a gesture of support. “I can easily do that.”

James was sorely tempted to wash his hands of the whole affair and accept the offer. Not only did he not want to leave Carys, but he couldn’t wait to be rid of his sister-in-law. Then he thought of Joanne. Despite what Margaret had done, she was her sister. He owed it to his late wife to ensure her safety. That way he could come back home with a clear conscience and put everything behind him.

“No,” he said, hoisting himself onto his horse before temptation overwhelmed him. He just had to do this. No one else would be able to convince Henry to take the woman on. “I thank you for the offer, but I will do my duty.”