Page 8 of A Royal’s Soul (Soul Match #3)

Persephone Flores

The sleeper compartment wasn’t much of a sleeping space. In the overhead shelves, I found sheets, pillows, and a couple of blankets. I had seen the edge of a blanket hanging slightly over the side and pulled it down to wrap around myself as I curled up on the long seating, making myself as small as possible. My body shook from tears and cold. I began to fear that Selene would never come back.

How had everything gone so horribly wrong? Everything had been good—or at least, as good as could be expected after the summer. Selene had promised to forego all suitors, declaring her love and intentions to be with me. I thumbed the ring on the chain around my neck, a show of her promise. The metal and stone felt cold on my skin.

Sure, the tension between Ana and me—created by Harris no longer attending the Academy and her growing dislike for Selene—wasn’t something I was happy about, but I was sure we would overcome it in time. Harris and even Dylan wouldn’t be despised by Selene forever. She was hot-headed and quick-tempered, but she wasn’t beyond reason. She hadn’t harmed Dylan—only sent him home and barred Viridis from the Academy. Ana wouldn’t be at Sanguis Academy forever; she would be reunited with Harris eventually, and I thought that, eventually she would see the good in Selene too.

I knew the King probably wasn’t happy that his only child and heir was refusing to follow the regarding marriage, but Selene hadn’t spoken of any trouble. She had only mentioned that she had informed her father of her intentions.

Thinking of Selene’s father made me cry harder. I hadn’t seen my own father or Rosemary since my birthday in the summer. I wondered if Rosemary had given birth yet. Was my brother with us now? What was his name? Surely, they would have gotten word to me if he had arrived. Selene would have told me. I hoped.

I missed my family, my village, my people, but they weren’t mine anymore. They hadn’t been since the spring, and now winter was here. I felt alone—perhaps truly alone for the first time in my life.

Everything came crumbling down so easily. All it took was one display of my new magic and everything fell around me.

Back home, we knew the importance of strong foundations—using crushed seashells, sand, clay, and water to create a strong, solid mixture, which we poured between wooden plank cribbing filled with rocks. It made foundations that prevented our homes from sinking in the sand.

I was ignorant to the fact that the foundations of my life at Sanguis Academy were so fragile. That my soul match bond was just fragile. So weak that Selene refused to allow the bond to truly form. So weak that she would risk everything without consulting me—only to abandon me when I protested.

I was so exhausted from everything that had happened and overwhelmed with sorrow, I fell asleep while crying.

*

Selene must have returned while I slept. She sat at the small folding desk beneath the window, reading letters. Every now and then, she let out a quiet growl.

The overhead light was off, leaving only a dim side lamp above Selene to illuminate the room.

For a while, I just watched her. Her eyes no longer glowed with their supernatural light—a sign that the bloodhigh had faded.

A shiver ran through me, and her eyes flicked to mine briefly before she turned back to the letters on the desk.

Her seat had been converted into a bed, but I doubted she would use it.

She had an irritated look—her brows creased slightly and her lip quirked when she released another low, dissatisfied growl.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

The train had fallen into a quiet lull, the rhythmic clatter of the tracks and the occasional bump were the only sounds, and it felt wrong to disturb the quiet.

She lifted her head and gave me a disapproving look, one eyebrow raised.

“You should be sleeping,” she chided.

“How could I possibly get any sleep?” I stuttered, shivering against the cold. I sat up, wrapping the blanket tightly around myself.

Did she really think I could just sleep, after the way she left? In this cold?

Her expression faltered, and she looked away from me.

I felt a rush of shame and sadness wash over me—the type of guilt that made me want to hide. But they weren’t my emotions, I realised. It was Selene’s emotions that I felt, breaking past her enchantments.

The sensation was foreign and entirely unpleasant for the moment that it lasted. But knowing how she felt, that she wasn’t a stonewall, softened me.

I sighed. Maybe I was cowardly, or stupid—or a mixture of the two. But I was also tired, and I didn’t have it in me to continue arguing. Mostly my heart ached for her, my soul match.

I never wanted Selene to feel badly about herself. She had betrayed me, scared me, and left me alone, and still, I couldn’t help my response, “With you growling like a house cat?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

She looked back up at me and I earned a cautious grin.

“A house cat?” she repeated, her features softening to confusion with a slight grin.

“Y-yeah,” I stuttered again. “S-sorry, it’s cold” I continued, apologising.

Why was it so cold? I leaned my head back, feeling slightly woozy. Had Selene taken too much blood? Was it still the aftereffects of using my new magic? Or was it just the train?

I glanced out the window. We passed fields and hills of white, camouflaged sheep barely discernible from their surroundings.

“Pet,” Selene began with concern, hastily bundling the papers on the desk and shoving them into a leather bag. “You are meant to inform me if you are cold.”

She folded the table down and stood, taking hold of her blanket before crossing the small space to sit beside me.

She leaned against the wall and opened her arms, an invitation. I hesitated, only briefly, before crawling into her lap, a shiver running through me.

Selene wrapped the blanket around us both, holding me tightly against her.

“Better?” she asked after a moment, once I had settled comfortably—my head resting on her shoulder, my cold cheek pressed against her neck. Her black-as-night hair blended in with the shadows of the dimly lit compartment, tickling my nose.

“Much,” I said, exhaling and relaxing further until I felt weightless in her hold.

Selene pressed the back of her hand against my forehead.

“You’re not excessively cold, I don’t think,” she said, removing her hand to rub up and down my arms.

“There is a healer on board,” she told me. Before I could protest, she stretched her arm out and dexterously unlocked and slid open the door to the compartment.

“Rylan!” she called, just above speaking volume.

“Selene, I’m fine,” I tried to protest. I was ignored as Rylan appeared almost instantly. I realised he was likely stationed outside the compartment.

“We require the healer, and a hot tea—something soothing,” Selene instructed.

Rylan glanced at me briefly before he nodded and closed the door as he left.

“Really, I’m fine,” I protested, huffing against Selene’s neck. “I’m already warming up.”

“I should have had you looked over before we even left Sanguis Academy,” she said in a chastising tone. I was reminded of her emotions that had leaked through when I first awoke.

“I should never have drunk from you,” she continued, and I could hear the increasing beat of her heart.

“You were too weak, and now this—"

“Selene, stop,” I instructed, sitting up to meet her eyes. “I’m fine,” I told her again.

And I was feeling better. Selene ran warm, all year round, regardless of the season.

She studied my face for a moment before nodding once.

I took that as a small victory. “What has my kitten all perturbed, anyway?” I teased, hoping to distract Selene from the spiral she had been slipping into.

She growled playfully in return, squeezing me a little too tightly. “Careful, pet, cats have claws,” she warned and began to tickle me. Even with a blanket between us, her agile fingers managed to find my ribs.

I squirmed and squealed with laughter, the sound filling the small space. I tried to block her attack, but all I could do was twist in her hold.

“I give up! I give up!” I laughed, tears running down my cheek. “Selene,” I whined, trying to suck in a breath between my laughter, “Stop, you’ll wake everyone up!” I pleaded, attempting to reason with her as she continued her attack.

“I’m not making a sound,” she argued, as her fingers continued their assault.

“What do you want?” I begged, trying desperately to be quiet, but peals of laughter kept bubbling out of me. I kicked my legs out, accidentally kicking Selene in the process, but she didn’t care, and her attack continued.

“What do I want?” she asked, slowing her fingers and allowing me to catch a breath. “I want my little pet to stop being so naughty and disrespectful,” she told me.

I blushed at her choice of words, like I was a misbehaved child she couldn’t help but find endearing. I didn’t respond and instead turned offended from her.

But I quickly relented the moment it seemed that her tickle attack would resume. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll behave!” I promised, laughter bubbling out of me already in anticipation of a new tickle attack.

The tickling stopped, but her hands stayed dangerously around my ribs. “Hmm,” she hummed before slowly moving her hands away from my sides. “Okay, now come,” she instructed as she began helping to manoeuvre me back into a comfortable position in her lap. “Are you still cold?” she asked.

“No,” I exhaled, catching my breath. The excitement had warmed me up; my cheeks were flushed, my heart was still calming down.

“Good,” she said, and I felt her lips press against my head.

A few peaceful minutes passed between us before I broke the silence.

“What happened before,” I began, “It can’t happen again, Selene. None of it. I need to be able to trust you—no more lies and secrets. No more using me like I’m nothing more than your blood slave,” I told her quietly and felt her become still.

“Percy,” she began and stopped. I saw her throat move as she swallowed. “My love, I swear there was no other choice. I could think of no other way to prove your innocence. I never intended to put you in any true danger. Never.” She cleared her throat.

“Minerva came to me this morning—or rather yesterday morning—with threats that I could not alone protect you from,” she paused, squeezing me tighter, her voice wavering as she continued, “I panicked. I made a rash decision without proper thought or full consideration. For that, I apologise. I have never known anything more challenging than remaining calm when it comes to you, my pet.”

“As for the feeding,” she murmured, dipping her head to gently kiss one of her bruised bites. I whined at the sting, “Another mistake on my part. I hadn’t eaten for more than three days, and I should not have fed from you while so hungry and emotionally exhausted. Do you forgive me?” she asked, placing another light kiss against her bite, and another at the corner of my jaw below my ear.

I exhaled a shaky breath. “What threats?” I asked instead of offering immediate forgiveness. I wanted to forgive her—more than anything, I wanted to go back two days and never agree to that magic lesson with Ana and Heidi. I could be a useless flower girl, tending to one garden at a time forever, and none of this would have happened.

Selene growled. “To disclose the incident—formally—before the Royal Conference,” she answered.

“I don’t understand?” I said. How did such a threat lead to her betraying me in such a way? It wasn’t exactly a secret—not really. It all happened quite publicly, and while Selene had ordered silence, rumours would spread.

“No House would be safe for you. Everyone with any title of power would demand your death—especially given the nature of what you did. If she were to formally announce her suspicions, we would have no allies,” Selene explained.

“I am the Princess. I am a Marchioness. But I am just one person. I have my Royal Guard, but they would not last long against the full forces of all the Houses of the Borealis kingdom. Truly, I don’t yet have a plan for how we tackle the truth—which is perhaps much worse. Every moment, every breath since the unveiling of your novel ability, I have been plagued with the need to protect you from the consequences of such a power.”

I heard her breath rattle in her chest and glanced up to see her chin quiver—her silver eyes beginning to glow.

I turned in her arms, cupping her face in my hands, and saw her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

“Selene,” I whispered, unsure of what to say, a lump forming in my own throat.

“I’ve never known such fear. Not even on the night of the Summer Ball,” she said in the lowest of whispers, if I weren’t but a quarter inch from her lips I wouldn’t have heard her.

“I,” I began but she shook her head.

“Do you forgive me?” she asked bluntly, and I nodded. “We will not speak of it anymore tonight,” she commanded, and cleared her throat.

I nodded and released her face, turning back to rest my head against her chest again. I had never imagined Selene truly afraid or capable of panic like anyone else.

In my mind, Selene she was power and control, above such things as unhelpful emotions like those of ordinary people. Sure, she suffered from her instincts—possessive, controlling, and domineering—but otherwise she was unshakable.

I realised that I had been unfair to Selene; not recognising her as a whole person, expecting too much given the circumstances. Circumstances I hadn’t fully appreciated.

Even as I sat on a train, having effectively fled the Academy, I couldn’t fully comprehend the magnitude of the potential consequences from my new ability.

I was still me. I wasn’t a danger to anyone. But that didn’t mean that others weren’t a danger to me.

Selene seemed to be acutely aware of the potential danger I faced. And if she was so worried—scared enough to barely keep control of herself—maybe I should be worried too.

I was silent for a time, listening only to my own breathing. I spotted the leather bag containing the letters and curiosity got the better of me. I broke the silence between us.

“What were you reading that made you so upset?” I asked quietly.

“Will you let it go if I don’t answer,” she replied just as quietly.

“You don’t have to answer me. You seem happy enough to leave me in the dark. But I’m curious,” I replied. I regretted my snarky response almost instantly when I felt her breath halt in her chest.

“You don’t have to tell me. Sorry,” I apologised.

She cleared her throat before beginning. “Correspondence from the Council of Ardens. There has been some disruption within the consolidated lands of Vouna. Not everyone is happy with the new arrangements. My cousin is causing a fuss,” she explained.

“Your cousin?” I asked. The only cousin I knew of was Valen and he was dead.

“I have many cousins,” she began, understanding my confusion, “most are distant—my mother's cousins and their children. They were understandably unhappy that after the traitor’s death, a successor was not chosen from their ranks, as is customary when the next in line holds a higher title.

Claiming the title of Marchioness of Ardens was not polite. Some of my cousins are bringing forth arguments that because House Ardens now encompasses what was once Vouna, and due to my Royal duties, I should appoint someone to govern in my place,” she said. I felt a rumble of a slight growl against my cheek that rested on her chest.

“The disrespect of such a suggestion angers me. Yet, I must respond carefully. There has been too much disruption to the land and people, and I cannot simply rip out the insolent throat of the one currently trying to steal my place in all ways but title.”

Her voice had lowered until she was whispering softly to me. “We cannot be sure, who may overhear us,” she warned.

I thought about what she had said. From my brief time in Vouna and from my talks with Remy, I didn’t think the ordinary people there cared for Clara or her parents. Selene would be a much better ruler. She would be fair, she cared about the people of her kingdom; even if she didn’t really believe in equality.

“You are thinking too hard. I can almost hear the wheels of your mind turning,” she said softly, squeezing me gently.

“Why are the people of Vouna—or what was Vouna—upset? When I was there in the summer, I saw how Vouna guard treated people. They locked people up, even killed them when they couldn’t pay their taxes. They murdered people’s family as punishment for crimes. It didn’t seem to me that the people of Vouna were happy before. Don’t they know that you’ll treat them better? That things will be better under your rule?” I asked.

Selene chuckled, her chest rising and falling. “I didn’t know you thought so highly of me, pet. Do you think me a virtuous leader?” she asked.

“Yes,” I answered. “You pretend to be all high and royal and noble, but you’re all about responsibility. You feel a lot of pressure to be a good leader.”

“You think you know me,” Selene replied, pressing a kiss to my temple.

“I know you better than anyone.”

“How can you be so sure?” she questioned. “How can you be so sure that the pressure I feel is to be a good leader?” she continued.

“Because,” I started and then hesitated. What else would a future queen feel pressured by?

“You are correct. Pressure threatens to crush me. Yet none of it comes from my Royal duties,” she admitted, sighing heavily as she lifted her head and rest it against the window.

“What do you feel pressure over?” I asked, curiously. What felt so heavy it could crush her?

“You,” she replied.

I was silent. No longer did I feel weightless in her arms—but heavy and cumbersome.

She was scared, worried, behaving in ways that frightened me, all because of me. Because of the pressure of being my soul match. A soul match she hadn’t wanted in the first place. A bond that she refused to allow to develop fully.

There was a light rap on the compartment door.

“Yes,” Selene answered.

The door slid open, and Rylan entered carrying a tray with a steaming pot and a mug.

“The healer suggested camomile tea,” he said, offering me a smile as he lifted the table into the upright position.

“Thank you,” I said, as I sat up from Selene.

“The healer is waiting outside,” he continued, turning to Selene, “Is there anything else you require, Ma’am?”

“No,” she answered, standing up and wrapping her blanket around my shoulders. “Send the healer in.”