Page 7 of A Royal’s Soul (Soul Match #3)

Persephone Flores

Travelling by train was a new experience for me. I had watched the trains pass by in the distance on tracks that ran through forgotten fields that once belonged to my village but had been sold off more than a few decades ago, but I had never had a reason to travel by train before.

On the outside, they were loud, fast, and a little scary. Standing on the platform crowded with returning Ardens students and servants, I stepped closer to Selene, reaching for her hand. A distant memory of my grandfather warning me not to get sucked beneath the wheels as we awaited the arrival of a relative I could no longer recall made me anxious.

My grandfather had been a tall man, like Father—not as broad—and his hair was lighter. He had gripped my shoulder and pulled me back from the edge of the platform when I had run towards it upon hearing the approaching train, excited at my young age.

The excitement had faded quickly at his warning. Still, I had not associated trains with danger then.

As we waited, my grandfather’s warning mixed with a later memory—one of when people from House Maria arrived late one night. Their vehicles lit up my bedroom window, waking me. I heard voices speaking in a rush. The whole village was awakened, and my father had taken me to the healer’s, who was to watch over me and the other children until late the following afternoon.

I was one of the older kids. The others and I all wanted to know what had happened: why had we been awakened and taken from our beds for this odd, impromptu sleepover.

I remember the healer had such a pensive look before she agreed with Amelia—an older girl from the village who had volunteered to speak to the healer on our behalf—that some of us were old enough to be told the truth of what was happening.

She told us of an accident in House Maria: a train had derailed from a bridge and crashed into the Viridis River.

It was the largest river in House Maria, connecting the Houses, and had been the main transport link between Houses Maria and Viridis for probably forever.

I later learned that almost everyone had died, and only a few survivors were pulled from the river.

House Maria had come to us that night for our community’s skill in the water, desperate to save any surviving passengers.

I heard—by eavesdropping on the grown-up's conversations—over the following days, that it had been a task of retrieving the dead from the moment they arrived.

Selene entwined our fingers and pulled me closer to her, dipping her head to the crown of my head and inhaling.

I leaned heavily against her, exhausted and hoping to sleep during the journey.

“What makes you anxious?” she asked softly, speaking against my hair.

“When I was little, there was a train accident in House Maria; many people died,” I said, speaking softly, fearful that others would overhear me.

The platform was crowded, but it seemed no one wished to speak—only a quiet murmur of hushed voices could be heard.

Perhaps no one spoke because the only thing they wanted to talk about was forbidden.

They had all been commanded to abandon their studies and return home, with little—essentially no—explanation given.

“The Viridis River Accident—eighty-eight souls were lost. I remember when it happened. It was, and still is, the largest loss of life from any incident outside of wartime in our history,” Selene replied, and I was shocked that it had been such a significant event for the whole kingdom.

“I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know it was that bad,” I said.

“Do you worry about such an accident happening again?” she asked. I nodded and felt her nose bump my head.

“You have no reason to worry now, pet. It has been nearly ten years since that accident. A thorough Crown investigation was carried out, the full cause of the accident was discovered, and new laws were implemented to prevent further accidents. In the case of the Viridis River Accident, there was a fault in a joint bar connecting two pieces of track together. The joint bar fractured, and the train derailed. There was concern at the time that the driver had been travelling too fast, but that was ruled out as a cause of the accident,” she explained.

“How do you know all that?” I asked, slightly surprised that she had all the details, including the death toll, readily available in her memory just like that—off the top of her head.

“I read the report as part of my modern kingdom history studies during my earlier homeschooling days. Father believes it imperative that all Royals should know the history of all major events of the land, especially those within living memory,” she answered.

“You were homeschooled?” I asked, surprised.

She released my hand and pulled me by my hips in front of her, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling my back against her chest. She dipped her head to speak softly against my ear.

“Until my eighteenth year, when I attended a rather small preparatory academy in Obsidium—The Black Knights Academy. Upon my twenty-first year, I transferred to Sanguis Academy. I enjoyed The Black Knights very much; they specialised in hand-to-hand combat and military techniques. Did you enjoy your studies at the school you attended in Maria? Fishers School, I believe, was the name?” she told me, her jaw resting against my shoulder.

I leaned into her embrace, sharing the warmth of her body, I was still cold, a chill to my bones that was thawing slowly as I thought about my answer. “It wasn’t very enjoyable, no. It was nice to interact with people my age from outside my village, but lunch was my preferred class,” she laughed behind me and squeezed my middle.

“I preferred what I learned at home—about plants and healing, fishing, and the sea. It was much more practical and has proven more useful than anything I learned at school. But school was compulsory. Father made me go. He said that if I didn’t, Maria would tax him extra.”

“It is the law that all in the land receive compulsory education until their sixteenth year. A population must be educated enough to function and be productive, active members of the land, ensuring that the processes driving the Kingdom’s functioning remain in working order and continue to benefit the people. Yet not so educated as to become a nuisance. There is a difference between education and intelligence. There is little more dangerous to society than an educated idiot; they have a habit of leading their contemporaries into poverty and famine,” Selene replied.

The sound of the approaching train distracted me before I could question what she meant.

Selene’s arms around me tightened, and I took hold of her hands, steadying myself. The mixture of exhaustion and anxiety made my legs feel shaky.

“Breathe,” Selene instructed, and I inhaled, following her command without thought.

“Good girl,” she praised as the roaring sound of the train drew closer and louder, bringing with it a gust of wind that whirled around the platform.

The train pulled into the platform at a relatively slow pace. I laughed lightly once it had stopped. I had imagined it flashing past us as quickly as I saw the trains move on the tracks back home. But I had nothing to fear.

“Not at all scary, was it?” Selene asked, a whisper in my ear, her chin against my shoulder.

“No,” I agreed.

The doors opened, and the pressure of Selene’s jaw on my shoulder lifted as she straightened behind me. Releasing me from her hold, she stepped to the side, and I reached out to take her waiting hand.

The crowd on the platform began to quickly bundle onto the train, except for the people nearest the carriage door closest to us; they waited for Selene to board.

I didn’t like feeling watched. Being the Princess’s pet meant that I was always under scrutiny. But usually, it wasn’t so obvious. Most of the time, I was completely unaware of being watched until Selene approached me with some ridiculous rule I’d broken or enquired about parts of my day she couldn’t have possibly known about unless I was being spied on.

But on the platform, as we walked towards the open door, the crowd made space for us, and all eyes watched as we passed.

I caught the eye of an Arden’s student—one who might have been a Vouna student just a few months ago. his brows were drawn in a frown, and his eyes flashed bright red when they met mine, his lip curving asymmetrically in a silent snarl.

I quickly looked down to my feet. Was he angry with me personally, or at the situation of being forced to leave the Academy? It didn’t really matter, either way I was the cause of the mass exodus of Ardens and Borealis students.

Selene squeezed my hand, and I looked up at her. “Mind the step,” she said. I looked down at the space between the platform and the train carriage. It wouldn’t be my best moment if I managed to fall into the small gap—small, but large enough for a leg to get stuck. I stepped up to the carriage carefully.

I was met with a long, narrow hallway lined with slim doors, each featuring a glass window that revealed individual compartments.

Selene tugged gently on my hand, and I followed her as she led us down the narrow space. I had no choice but to walk behind her.

She stopped at the last door of the carriage and opened it.

“I apologise; this was the last remaining sleeper compartment available. It was booked at such short notice, and the Aqua to Ardens line is fairly popular. It’s my understanding that every seat has been purchased, and some passengers will need to stand,” Selene told me as she opened the door to the compartment.

Directly opposite the door was a large window. The seating to either side of the compartment was red and velvet, and a small foldable table was attached beneath the window, currently closed. Above the seating on each side was a storage shelf for bags.

“Where are our bags?” I asked as I stepped into the small space.

“Rylan is escorting our bags personally. He and the others are in two compartments—one in this carriage and another in the carriage at the back of the train,” she explained.

“Our overnight bag will be brought to us soon.” She made a disgusted face and looked away from me, her expression almost resembling embarrassment.

“There is only one shower room and two individual washrooms shared by this carriage,” she told me. “I know it is not of an acceptable standard,” she admitted, a frown marring her face.

“Selene, it’s fine,” I laughed, sitting down heavily on one of the red velvet seats. “Are you seriously worried this isn’t up to my standard?” I asked, shaking my head in amusement.

I looked up and noticed a small golden chandelier hanging from the ceiling. “Oh, Poseidon, there’s even a chandelier!” I exclaimed, unable to hold back my laughter. “Don’t tell me even the window frame is real gold,” I said, subduing my laughter when Selene didn’t seem as amused.

“Gold coating, I think,” she stated sombrely.

I couldn’t contain my laughter for very long. It burst out of me until it was hard to breath, and tears trailed down my face.

After such an intense day, I felt almost manic as I laughed. My nauseous stomach tightened, and I bent over, holding my stomach.

“I feel very much that I am the joke you laugh at,” Selene said, a growl rumbling in her chest as the door to the compartment clicked shut and she stepped in front of me. She tilted my head up and I tried not to make it obvious how nauseous I was.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as she examined my face.

“I’m fine,” I told her and sat up, exaggeratedly look around the compartment. “Come on, Selene, this place is fancy, and you’re embarrassed about sharing a bathroom?” I asked.

Selene sat down on the seat opposite me.

“I am not embarrassed,” she corrected. “I am ashamed,” she continued. My laughter ceased at the confession. Shame was bad. Embarrassment was normal—I felt embarrassed in some way every day. Selene enjoyed my embarrassment, but shame… shame was for when you had done something wrong.

“Why?” I asked, concerned.

“I have not provided you with the best that I possibly could. I could have demanded one of the private compartments with an actual bed and a private bathroom, however minuscule the space is, but they were already fully booked. I thought you would protest,” she paused and frowned, clearly thinking of the word she wanted to use, “at displacing others. Despite the fact that I am Marchioness of the House we are traveling to and heir to the throne,” she continued.

I nodded. “By displace, do you mean turn up and kick out?” I asked. She didn’t reply, which was answer enough. I sighed. “You’re right—I would have been upset,” I told her. “I don’t want to take things from other people.”

“Yet you should be able to rely on me, to trust me to provide for you, and now we are here.” She waved her hand around the space and scrunched her nose.

“You have provided everything for me since we met,” I reassured her. “And I love this,” I said, copying the way she had waved at the compartment.

“I don’t need fancy things, Selene. I just need you, and to be safe—for everyone I care about to be safe,” I explained and stood slowly, hoping Selene would not sense how even standing was challenging for me, given my continued state of exhaustion, before settling myself in her lap.

She opened her arms, welcoming me in a warm embrace.

As I settled down, my head resting against her shoulder, I knew that this was what I needed.

The physical closeness of Selene—a quiet moment where she revealed her softness to me.

I reminded myself that despite her flaws, Selene was my soul match, and I hers. She cared for me, even if her care sometimes manifested in dangerous ways.

“Wherever you are, if I’m there too, that makes me happy,” I said, trying to reassure her.

It had been a difficult day for both of us. We were both clearly drained—I felt it in the way Selene held me, lazily leaning her cheek against my head, her nose pressing into my hair. I knew Selene was doing her best, even accepting a lesser class of cabin for my sake.

“You are far too sweet, little pet,” she said, moving my head to the side so she could mark me.

Her lips kissed my neck softly, her tongue swiping out warm against my cool skin, her teeth nipping me.

I allowed myself to enjoy the process, relaxing my head against my shoulder and providing her as much access as I could.

Her open mouth and teeth lingered in a soft bite against the junction of my shoulder and neck. I felt the way she became still—the way her bite slowly increased in pressure as if teasing herself.

“Are you hungry?” I asked. She hummed in the affirmative. “You can have a drink if you want,” I told her.

It had been almost a week since she last fed from me. Technically she could have fed from me two days previously. We had learned through trial that I required three to four days between Selene drinking from me to recover. Any closer in feedings and I would become lethargic and anaemic. The shifter and vampire parts of me allowed my blood to recuperate much faster than an average human. Much to Selene’s enjoyment, and admittedly mine. Selene’s markings and feeding were something that I had come to very much enjoy. To give into the pain and the pleasure. It made me feel connected to her, deeply, and I craved that connection. I wondered if perhaps the constant desire I had to be closer to her, to be connected to Selene had anything to do with our soul match bond not being fully realised, due to Selene’s enchantments.

I whined in pain as her fangs pierced my skin without warning—no pause to acknowledge my offer or to confirm acceptance. I was startled by the immediacy and desperate nature of how she drank from me. Clinging to me tightly, swallowing fast, digging her teeth in harder.

How long had it been since I last saw her eat? How hungry was she? Selene was never like this, not since the first time she had drunk from me.

Her hands clung to my hips painfully as she pulled me closer to her. Being reminded of that first night made fear prickle down my spine and arms.

“Selene, not so rough,” I tried, attempting to calm her. It was almost like a frenzy had taken over her.

She growled and moaned in equal measure as she squeezed me tighter. I attempted to push her back; she stopped and I felt relief—before seeing her bright silver eyes, eerily as lost and frantic as she had been back at the academy while attacking Rylan. Then she pushed my head to the opposite side, quickly dipped her head back to my neck, and painfully took a new bite.

She growled animalistically.

“Selene,” I cried, pushing her away as I called her name, but it was useless.

“Stop,” I told her as I began to feel lightheaded, and her bite grew into a painful burn.

She gave no response. Panic filled me, and before I knew what I had done, I had taken a fistful of her long black hair and pulled—hard.

“Stop, Selene!” I cried, and her mouth left me instantly.

Unseeing, glowing silver eyes watched me for tense moments.

She wasn’t in control. Or maybe she was in some way, but her vampire was certainly in control.

I felt uneasy, unsure of her in a way I hadn’t felt since our first encounters.

She had set me up to be hunted by President Minerva and had attacked Rylan. Her behaviour had been entirely unpredictable, unstable, and regardless of her reasoning and excuses, she had betrayed me—betrayed us.

And in that moment, I realised that I was truly frightened.

I felt truly in danger—no naivety to protect me. I knew what Selene was capable of when fully in control of herself. I couldn’t imagine what her vampire instincts could unleash if she fully lost control.

I was so still, a deer who had scented a hunter.

I didn’t take my eyes from hers as I raised a hand to my neck and applied pressure to try and lessen the pain.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked after a long tense silence, where she only looked at me and I could not tell what she was feeling or thinking.

I decided to try to stand, to create space from us, scared of what would happen when she snapped back into motion.

As I slowly and dizzily stood up from her lap, I wobbled on my feet as darkness crept at the edges of my vision, threatening to consume me. But I saw the sense return to her eyes as I almost stumbled and fell. She reached out to try and steady me, but I pushed her hand away as I collapsed back into the opposite side seat.

“Percy,” she licked her lips as if only just tasting my blood and opened her mouth to speak a few times, a bewildered look across her perfect features.

“I’m sorry. It’s been too long since I last fed, my instincts have been heightened. I shouldn’t have drunk from you now,” she apologised.

I could see her trying to compose her words as the bloodhigh took effect.

Her expression changed to something pleading. “Come back to me,” she instructed, reaching her hand out into the space between us.

“No,” I said, “You can’t have any more. That was enough,” I told her as firmly as I could, trying to keep my head from nodding backwards and focusing enough to keep my attention on her. I was aware of every move she made.

“I won’t take anymore. I promise,” she said, and had the audacity to giggle in that enchanting way that usually left me enamoured and unbalanced, but in the moment, it was only worrying and angering.

It was like she didn’t understand what had happened, like she was unaware of her loss of control, of how dangerous the situation was.

She leaned out of her seat, the distance between us so small that she could reach me without needing to stand.

I attempted to protest, to try to twist away from her, but my movements were lethargic, and each one caused my head to pound in protest.

She took hold of my wrist, pulling me out of my seat and across the small space until I fell, unsteady, into her.

She quickly maneuvered me like a doll until I was straddling her hips.

“So spirited, is my little pet, hmm?” she laughed. “It’s quite cute.”

Her hand gripped the back of my head and forced it down and to the side, revealing one of her bites.

I couldn’t stop her, and tears streamed down my face. Fear overtook me, and I could barely form the words of my pleading.

“Please, Selene, don’t,” I begged.

She ignored me and leaned forward, her nose pressing painfully against my inflamed skin. Inhaling deeply, she released a deep, satisfied groan.

“You smell so good,” she said before I felt her tongue, warm and wet against my skin.

I braced myself for another bite and wondered briefly if this was how it would end. If she drained me to death, would she be killing herself too?

“Stop,” I tried again, weakly. But she did not stop her attentions.

After a few dreadfully fearful moments, she began to produce a deep growl, the type that was more of a purr. The sound, the vibration passing from her to me, was soothing as it signalled a lack of aggression.

Selene only purred when content. And as my fear subsided, I realised that she was cleaning my wound delicately, careful not to cause me unnecessary pain. I made myself as near to limp for her ministrations as I could, allowing her to tilt my head and apply the same treatment to her second bite.

“Why are you scared of me again?” she asked as she pulled away from my neck to look at me.

“I thought we had moved past that.” her head tilted in thought. “The smell of fear is rather pleasant on you.” She breathed in deeply, admiring my distress, before her dopey smile faded and she frowned slightly. “But I can’t enjoy it, not when I didn’t purposefully pull it from you. I have been careful not to scare you. Why do you fear me now?” she demanded, glowing silver eyes staring into mine. She forced our eye contact as she held the back of my head in her grip.

“You know why,” I challenged softly. Her nostrils flared, and she growled while she leaned forward and pressing her forehead against mine.

“You are still upset about that,” she stated. “Let it go. It had to be done.”

It took me a moment to realise that she was speaking of her betrayal in the grove and not even registering the way she had behaved while drinking from me.

“You took too much,” I told her. “You hurt and scared me just now, Selene,” I explained, and she turned her whole head away from me. “I thought you might kill me.”

Her head snapped back to me. “Never,” she hissed. Her hand left the back of my head to caress my cheek. “I would never kill you, my little pet. I desire only to keep you alive and with me,” she said.

“I don’t know if I can believe that,” I replied. If I wasn’t functioning on adrenaline and sheer willpower to stay awake and not pass out, I might have thought before I spoke and chosen to remain quiet.

“You think me a liar?” she challenged, but her bloodhigh smile remained, and her fingertips danced lightly against my cheek.

“You allowed Mhari and me to almost be killed this afternoon, and just ten minutes ago, you almost drank me dry,” I reminded her.

She pulled back from me and hissed. “You care about that shifter. I watched the way she comforted you and how you reacted,” she said, and from her hiss, I knew she was angry, but the way she held me did not change; the gentleness of her hands remained.

“Mhari helped me because Ana asked someone to, that’s all. I met her last term, and she’s never shown any interest in me,” I told her. “It was you who put me in the situation where I needed her help in the first place.” I couldn’t stop myself from expressing how upset I still was.

“I worry that some wayward, lower class, mixed-blood, wanting-to-do-good type will steal you from me. That not even our—” she hesitated, “bond,” she said the word in a whisper and gave me a look that let me know our conversations may not be private, “would be enough to keep you,” she said, ignoring her own actions.

“Selene, no one could steal me from you,” I reassured. As upset, confused, and betrayed as I was, she was my soul match, and I knew what it was like to worry about someone taking her—or rather, about her choosing someone else over me. I didn’t want her to feel that insecurity too.

“They would not get far. I would hunt them down like I did the traitor, Valen,” she said, her cousin’s name like a curse as she scrunched her eyebrows in disgust. “But their punishment would be far bloodier and last a lifetime. I would make you watch as I ripped them apart, one small piece at a time—make you watch as I turned your would-be lover into some foul, monstrous creature that knows only pain. Even then, I would not be satisfied,” she spoke softly, looking lovingly towards me despite the blood-curdling torture she described.

My stomach twisted—not in an unpleasant way. I hated to admit it, but Selene’s violence could stir a type of impure arousal within me. Some dark part of me was excited by the very dark parts of Selene that terrified the rational me. Maybe that was where my new ability came from—the dark, twisted parts of me being expressed in cold death of my magic.

“I can’t tell if that is meant to be a threat or some twisted declaration of love,” I replied. She took hold of my palm, brought it to her lips, and I expected her to tenderly kiss me. Instead, she nipped me with her teeth. “Ow!” I pulled my hand away and she laughed.

“I think you know it’s both,” she said and pulled my face closer to her. “I think you know I would burn this kingdom to the ground,” she whispered, her breath hot against my lips, her words and closeness stirring heat within me, “and damn us all to the depths of the underworld, if I could not have you.” She crashed her lips to mine in a violent kiss.

But I did not welcome her kiss. I wouldn’t give in to her again. Not now, on a crowded train, not when she had drunk from me so violently and after everything that had already happened. Whatever desire that was stoked by the lowest and worst parts of me at her words, was nothing compared to the pain, hurt and confusion I felt. It was like she was not at all herself and entirely herself all at once.

She pulled back and looked at me curiously.

“Don’t,” I warned her.

She laughed and tried to kiss me again. I turned my head away.

“I’m serious, Selene, I’m not interested,” I told her and began to try and stand from her lap, but she refused to release her hold on me.

“Let me go,” I demanded.

“What’s wrong with you?” she demanded in return, echoing my earlier words. Her eyes flashed, dangerously.

“I don’t know—maybe the woman who claims to love me allowed me to be chased like an animal, risked my life, made me leave my home, my friends, and all she cares about is blood and sex,” I replied angrily, my weak voice rising.

Her arms released me then, and I stood from her lap, falling back into the opposite seat.

Selene stood abruptly as I sat down. She stared at me for what felt like a long while before speaking.

“You stay right there. You do not move. You do not leave this compartment. Do you understand?” she asked firmly.

I nodded my assent.

She nodded once, seriously, and if not for the situation, her seriousness coupled with her bloodhigh it would have been amusing. As it was, it was simply another bewildering action. She turned and opened the compartment door.

“Where are you going?” I asked her, trying to stand up.

“Sit,” she commanded, turning dizzyingly fast to give the command. I stopped trying to stand and sank back into the seat.

“Good. Stay,” she continued as if speaking to a dog. “I’m giving you the space that you obviously require,” she answered me and left, the door sliding shut behind her.

A lump formed in my throat. The compartment was suddenly silent; it felt somehow bigger, colder, and I was abandoned. Suddenly, I wanted her to reassure me, to explain herself, to make everything I was feeling disappear. But she wouldn’t give me what I needed. She wouldn’t even allow our bond to fully form. She claimed to love me, and I had believed her. I wanted to believe her. But now I didn’t know if it was true. Could I even trust her anymore? I felt sick—and not from exhaustion, lack of blood and use of my magic. I wanted to trust in Selene, but the doubt that had grown within me felt like it would kill me.