Page 82 of A River of Crows

Rushed breathing made Caroline’s throat dry. A wonderful dad? A wonderful dad wouldn’t do this. Any judge would see that.

“Jay’s not a good dad,” Caroline spoke through clenched teeth.

“Okay, okay.” Libby pursed her lips. “These are things you can deal with later and—”

Libby stopped when the front door swung open. Caroline glanced at the microwave clock. “It’s the kids.” She didn’t want to see them. Not still wearing last night’s clothes with last night’s black mascara smeared all over her gummy eyelids.

Libby dashed out to meet Sloan and Ridge in the living room. Caroline listened to her tell them that their mom was sick, so she’d be staying a few days to help. The news elicited cheers from her children. Cheers that Caroline was ill, cheers that they’d have a better mother for a few days. They were so ungrateful.

“Let’s get a coke from Sonic and some Pickle-O’s too. We’ll eat them at the park. Call and invite Noah,” Libby said.

More cheers. Caroline realized she should be thankful for a friend like Libby, but she only felt betrayed. How could she still consider Jay a good father? How could she believe that Jay deserved to see the children? Jay Hadfield deserved something alright, but not taking her children into Anna Hadfield’s house like they were some big happy family.

Caroline knew what she deserved; she deserved to go back in time and never wait on Jay Hadfield’s table. She deserved her internship and a chance to earn her Ph.D. She deserved to study crows at a prestigious lab, not some dirty creek in Podunk, Texas.

She deserved her entire life back.

Libby and the kids returned two hours later. Caroline heard them come in but didn’t move from her spot on the pantry floor.

Libby’s heels clicked as she walked through the small house. “Caroline? Where are you?”

“In here,” Caroline said.

The door opened a few seconds later. The suitcase in Libby’s hand dropped when she saw the mess. “What are you doing?”

Caroline pressed her hand into a pile of flour. “I was going to clean it up, but I just don’t want to.” She raised her flour-coated hand and touched the wall, depositing a handprint. “I sort of like it better like this.”

Libby sniffed the air. “Have you been drinking?”

Had she? Caroline wasn’t sure, but judging by the warm and cozy feelings rushing through her body, she might have had a glass.

“Come on, get up. I’ll get this cleaned up while the kids do their homework. Take a shower and go to bed.”

Caroline tried to stand, but she slipped on the remnants of a turned-over bottle of wine. She held up the bottle and laughed. “Guess I had a drink.”

“Here.” Libby reached for her hand. Caroline made it halfway up when she hit a pile of brown sugar and slipped again. Libby stepped back and rubbed her forehead. “Oh, for goodness' sake, Caroline.”

Caroline picked up some brown sugar and sprinkled it on her chest. “What’s that song that was so popular last year?”

“I don’t know, but we need to get you out of here.”

Caroline tried to snap her fingers, but the flour made it impossible. “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” That’s the song.” She lowered her voice. “It’s about sex, you know?”

Libby crossed her arms. “Yeah, I got that.”

“Jay and I had sex right here.” Caroline slapped the floor. “Right on this frigid linoleum. I bet he and Anna never had sex in their pantry.”

Libby bent down. “Caroline, your kids are down the hall. They don’t need to see you like this. Pull yourself together, and let me help you up.”

“Dammit, I’m trying.” Caroline attempted to suppress a laugh. “I waxed the floor a few days ago, so it was already slippery before all this spilled. I mean, I assumed that’s what good housewives did. Waxed the floors, had sex with their husbands on waxed floors, etcetera, etcetera.”

“Yeah. Ridge told me he fell too. He’s really banged up.”

Caroline tried to remember Ridge falling. “Ridge didn’t slip on the floor.” Caroline felt like she was speaking in slow motion, like a cassette getting chewed up by a boombox.

“What do you mean? What happened to his face?”

Right as Libby asked, Caroline remembered. Doreen had told her last night that he’d slipped. But before she could explain, Libby’s words came to mind. Jay would get to see the kids. Caroline couldn’t let that happen.