Page 60 of A River of Crows

Sloan was ready to leave them both behind. To leave behind this town that judged her for the sins of her parents. Everything suddenly seemed urgent. Waiting would only give her time to change her mind.

She jumped up from her bed and pulled her duffle bag from the closet. Then she grabbed the legal pad off her nightstand. The one with her notes on how to answer questions on the stand. She ripped off the top three sheets and threw them into her wastebasket, then tried to write a letter to Noah.

When the trash can was full, she gave up and wrote a letter that felt much less complicated.

Walt,

I’m sorry I’m not brave enough to say this in person, but I’m leaving tonight for Longview. It’s still a few weeks before classes start, but they said I can move into the dorms early. The offer of free college was too much to pass up, and every minute I stay in Mallowater is a minute I might stay trapped forever. I hope you can understand, and if not, I hope you can forgive me.

What should I do about the house? Quit paying and lose it? Try to sell it? If you aren’t too angry with me, I’d really appreciate your advice. I’ll call when I’m sorted. I know you would have helped, but I need to do this alone.

I love you, Walt. Thanks for the car, for the money, and mostly for the chance to see what a normal family is like.

Love,

Sloan

PS: Look in on Mom, please.

PSS: Tell Noah I’m sorry.

Chapter 18

Mallowater, TX, 2008

Sloan rode with Dylan to the creek to look for her mom. She hadn’t wanted to leave her car at the restaurant, but Dylan insisted she was in no state to drive. He was right. Tears poured from her eyes as she told him more about her mother’s mental history, about the night she’d driven to the Hadfield’s with the pistol, about everything.

“I realize it’s hard, but you’ve got to cling to the good memories of her,” Dylan said. “You can’t forget the bad, but you can focus more on the good. That’s the only power we have.”

Sloan knew he was right. Since the visit with her father, she’d focused more on the happy memories, the ones she’d tried to forget her entire life. The ones that had hurt too much to remember. It was helping a little.

Dylan reached across the center console and took Sloan’s hand. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Sorry for ruining the date,” Sloan said.

“How could it be ruined? I’m still with you instead of being at home, trying to forget the entire night happened like I do with most of my dates.”

“Well, the night is young. Don’t count that out yet,” Sloan said as they arrived at the creek.

“Think we should split up?” Dylan asked.

A light tapping on Sloan’s window made them both jump. A flashlight shone in the car. Once Sloan’s eyes adjusted, she recognized Walt behind it. Sloan couldn’t believe how old he looked, so frail and gray. But he had those same kind eyes. The ones he’d given Noah.

Walt backed away as she opened the door. “Sloan? I almost didn’t recognize you.”

Sloan stood to hug him. Though she’d communicated with Walt many times, she hadn’t seen him since her mother was committed in 1995. “Great to see you, Walt.”

He pulled back to study her. “Your hair’s longer, and I like the wave in it.”

Sloan brushed her hair off her shoulders. “Yeah, that Meg Ryan look really didn’t work for me.”

Walt laughed. “It looked just fine. I think you got taller too.”

Sloan lifted her foot. “It’s the boots.”

“Well, it’s sure good to see you. Doreen and I keep hoping you’ll visit, but we understand how busy you must be.”

Sloan averted her gaze to the ground. She didn’t realize Dylan was out of the car until he was beside her, extending his hand to Walt and introducing himself.