Page 9

NINE

Merritt pulled up to the teeny red building with pallets lined along the foundation as a makeshift sidewalk. Her heart sped up in her chest at the thought of seeing Tiikaan again. There definitely had been something electric between them back at the plane.

Or maybe magnetic?

Whatever force had been at work had her hands sweating buckets and lungs gasping for breath like a vapid romance novel heroine.

Sure, the rugged man had looked up the vegetarian options at the restaurant. That didn’t mean he had more in mind than just being considerate.

Though, to be fair, she’d never once looked at dining options for someone else. Didn’t that seem extra?

It seemed extra to her, which brought her right back to the unnamed force that had her checking in her mirror at home to make sure her jeans and flannel shirt looked down-to-earth enough for the no-nonsense pilot.

How long had she been looking through the windshield at the front of the restaurant, staring like it was a Goliath she had to conquer? With a huff, she rolled her eyes, wiped the gallon of sweat on her palms off on her jeans, and yanked the car door open.

For extra measure, she pushed back her shoulders and chanted Elsa’s line from Frozen in her head as she made her way to the entrance.

Conceal. Don’t feel.

Except one look at Tiikaan squeezed into a table pushed up against the wall and a fridge, chatting lively with a kid at the table next to him, melted all the cold shell she’d gathered in a rush of heat. She was surprised there wasn’t a puddle at her feet.

He looked over the packed, cramped restaurant, his eyes lighting up when he spotted her. He raised his hand, like her eyes hadn’t latched on to him like a heat-seeking missile the instant she’d stepped through the door.

She was in so much trouble.

There was no way feeding the crush of hers would be beneficial at the moment. Not with the mine starting up and her dad’s possible murder looming over her.

But having a friend could be.

Having someone she could let down her guard with, even for an hour over a meal, could keep her from shattering into a million shards. Because, let’s face it, she hadn’t been coping very well, but these moments with Tiikaan helped.

She just had to keep her attraction in check.

Which would be a whole lot easier if the man didn’t look like the model for Brawny paper towels and Chris Pratt in his Jurassic Park phase had their genes spliced together for the ultimate male specimen.

Gah.

Not helping.

She took another breath and threaded her way to him as he tipped his head at her in a nod.

“Hey.” He smiled and the slight impression of dimples showed in his beard.

Double gah.

He wasn’t making her determination to keep it together easy. Darn the man for being so affable.

“Hey.” She pulled out the seat across from him, pausing when she noticed he’d given her the spot with more room.

He looked cramped wedged in the tight space between the table and the fridge.

“Do you want this spot?” She motioned to the two feet separating her chair from the one behind it. “There’s more space.”

“Nah. I like to see the door.”

The man wasn’t going to give her a break, was he? It was like protective chivalry was baked into his being, what with his insistence to help her in and out of his plane and the need to watch the door for what?

Madmen with guns?

Rabid polar bears?

The last one made her shudder. She’d take the men with guns over bears any day.

He pushed on the table, making a loud scraping noise as it moved a few inches away from the fridge. “See. We’re all good now. ”

“All right.” She took the seat and wiped her hands again on her jeans once her legs were hidden under the table.

“Paka here was just telling me that the miso soup is the bomb.” Tiikaan leaned across the aisle and gave the cute little Inupiat girl he’d been talking to a high five. “And that the agedashi tofu is… how did you put it?”

“To die for.” The girl couldn’t be more than four years old.

Tiikaan looked up at Merritt with a smile playing at the corner of his lips and a raised eyebrow. “You heard it. To die for.”

He widened his eyes and pressed his lips together.

Speaking of to die for. Her ribs were about to crack wide-open, letting her heart flop out into his lap. She pressed her hand over her chest to keep her heart in place and smiled at Paka.

“Thanks for the tip.” Merritt shrugged, feigning seriousness. “I always have such a hard time deciding what to eat. You just helped me out a lot.”

Paka nodded sagely. “And the apple pie on the moat is the best in the whole world.”

Merritt looked at Tiikaan for a translation, but his forehead scrunched in confusion, too.

“She means á la mode.” Paka’s mom sitting next to her shook her head.

“Aah.” Merritt focused back on Paka. “I’ll be sure to save room.”

For pie, but she’d hold the moat.

Unless there was a nondairy option.

“All right. It’s time to go, girlie.” Paka’s mom stood and the rest of the table called out goodbyes to other customers as they left.

“Well, she was adorable.” Merritt smiled at Tiikaan.

“Completely.” He chuckled. “Started chatting my ear off the instant I sat down. We’re now BFFs. I’m sure we’ll catch up later on Snapchat.”

He said it all with such seriousness as he scanned the menu that Merritt wondered if his laid-back attitude ever got ruffled.

“Hmm.” Her eyes roamed the menu, not really reading the words. “Never took you as a Snapchat kind of guy.”

“No?” He put his elbows on the table and threaded his fingers together like she was about to spout something he really wanted to hear.

“You seem more of an Insta influencer.” She shrugged one shoulder. “You know, setting up cameras in your plane for just the right angle of you in your aviators to catch all the ladies’ attention.”

He settled back in his chair with a cocky, exaggerated casualness.

She swallowed her laugh and continued. “Or it’s probably more like putting the camera at just the right angle to make your hunting and fishing successes look like trophies instead of barely legal to lure more clients in.”

He nodded and leaned forward.

“So, it’s the aviators that draw the ladies in? Good to know.” He rubbed his beard. “I always figured it was my rugged, chiseled jaw.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “It’s something. ”

In truth it wasn’t just one thing about him that attracted her. His entire presence was a wrapped package of confident masculinity she’d always been drawn to.

Not alphahole toxic.

But a calm presence that broadcasted competence and trustworthiness. That whatever situation came up, he could handle it.

She’d witnessed men like him in the heart of the refugee camps and disasters. They were the ones she put in charge. They weren’t without fault, but when things fell apart, they could hold it together long enough to shore up the cracks.

The friendly Korean owner took their order. Over dinner, Merritt convinced him that since he was already at the mine all day, getting paid extra to do guard duty was a no-brainer.

Tiikaan told Merritt funny hunting stories about getting chased by moose and dive-bombing ducks. She recounted her work abroad.

Over two hours and amazing tempura and hot pie with melting dairy-free ice cream later, the frigid loneliness that had chilled her blood since she landed in Barrow thawed, leaving her mind quieter than it had been in years.

Tiikaan scratched at the bandage on his arm.

“What happened?” She pointed her apple pie loaded fork at his arm, then fairly moaned when she took the bite.

Paka was right. The pie was the best she’d ever had.

“A grizzly mistook me for the bait at my stand. ”

The pie turned to gravel in her mouth. She swallowed, but it almost didn’t make it down her throat. Her hand shook as she set the fork down with a clatter.

“What?” she wheezed out through tight lungs.

“I was at my bear bait stand. Planned on taking it down, but ended up in the tree, hunting one last time before this new contract flying an uppity oil heiress started. You know, one last go before the pendulum of pain and boredom.”

He winked, shoved a bite of pie in his mouth, and talked around it. “I was just getting ready to climb down when a scratching noise sounded right below me. When I looked over the edge of the tree stand, a big ol’ boy stared right up at me.”

“No.”

“Yeah.”

Then he told her the most horrific, unbelievably insane story she’d ever heard.

She pushed herself into the chair like the bear was going to come stalking out of the kitchen behind Tiikaan. Her body trembled from head to toe. A tingling spread through her chest. She tried to take a deep breath to calm the heck down, but she couldn’t.

Which pissed her off.

She didn’t want to be this damsel in distress. It wasn’t even like the bear was there stalking her. Sure, polar bears would wander Barrow’s streets and everyone would get inside, but that wasn’t the case at the moment. She was just––how had her dad always put it?

Your mind is like a wild well right now, gushing fear and panic. It’s time to cap that well and get your head straight.

She could hear her dad’s voice clear as day in her head, and tears blurred her vision. She blinked and gritted her teeth.

“Hey.” Tiikaan reached across the table and placed his hand over her clenched fist. “What’s going on?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” she said. “I just… don’t like bears.”

He rubbed the back of her hand. “Seems more than a dislike.”

“Yeah.” She laughed, but it was almost a sob. “More like a crushing, irrational fear.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Can you tell me about it?”

He leaned forward, his warm hand still wrapped around hers.

She took a deep breath and forced out the story she’d tried to forget. “When I was eleven, I went to a wilderness camp in Montana. One night, me and two of the girls decided to sleep under the stars instead of in the tents.”

She gulped, but the fear didn’t go down. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to get control. She really didn’t want to break down crying or, worse, pass out in this busy restaurant. Tiikaan’s hand slid up her arm and squeezed.

“You don’t have to tell me.” His thumb ran across the inside of her forearm.

She curled her hand around his arm, mirroring his hold on her, and opened her eyes. His gaze never left her face and had no disdain or impatience on it.

Just concern .

Like he really wanted to understand why.

Maybe talking about it would help. If nothing else, he’d know why she tried to climb through her seat that morning when the bears crossed the runway.

“I woke up to a crunching noise and bloodcurdling screams.” She gulped down the bile that rose up her throat. “The three of us had slept lined up. The bear had chomped on the head of my friend in the middle.”

She shuddered, and he squeezed her arm. “Thankfully, it crushed her skull and killed her instantly, and me and the other girl were able to scramble away. But I’ll never forget the sound of teeth on skull for as long as I live.”

“Wow.” Tiikaan swallowed, his lips pressing into a tight line as he shook his head, and she didn’t feel like her fear was such an abnormal thing. “I’d say that would cause anyone to have a phobia of bears.”

“Your story sounds just as bad, maybe even worse, but you don’t seem to be cowering at the thought of the beasts.”

“Yeah, but I’ve spent my life in the woods and around bears.” He exhaled a laugh. “Heck, we had several books detailing stories of surviving bear attacks growing up that’d we’d read on camp trips around the fire.”

“That’s just wrong.”

“That’s just life, at least up here,” he countered with a shrug. “Honestly, I think my dad did it so that we’d not only have an understanding of the predators around us, but also have stories in our memories of how to survive.

“Maybe some kickback to the warriors of old telling stories of their encounters. Who knows, but if something like what had happened to you had happened to me, I probably wouldn’t be hunting bear in the woods alone.”

“Yeah, but you aren’t even fazed by your experience.” She pushed her trembling fingers of her free hand through her hair.

“It’s not that I wasn’t scared. Believe me, I’m surprised I didn’t have to change my underpants when it was all done. And the entire time I was getting everything loaded and out of there, I was paranoid by every little sound.”

He leaned forward like he really wanted her to hear the next part. “But I also know that baiting bears is dangerous. I’m practically begging them to come to me. And what happened to you was probably the same.

“The food from the campout, even the toothpaste the girl used, could’ve acted as bait, especially if that was a regular camp area. But most bears in the wild steer clear of humans and only really attack if their cubs are there or there’s food to protect.”

He was probably right.

Maybe.

She still didn’t think if she were him, she’d pop back into the woods after being attacked by a grizzly, but it felt like he got why she’d be afraid. While her dad had taken her to counseling, he never quite understood how she couldn’t control her fear.

Even a trip to the zoo would induce panic. To him, his philosophy of “Fear is just a four-letter word. You’ve got to face it head-on and show it who’s boss” extended into every single aspect of life .

Mostly, she’d been able to live up to that motto. It helped there weren’t bears where she went. But Alaska wasn’t like everywhere else, and the one part of life she hadn’t ever gotten a handle on was seemingly around every corner.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t end up dinner.” She smiled and released her death grip on his arm. “It would’ve been a hassle finding another pilot on such short notice.”

Talking had helped.

“Thanks for listening,” she whispered.

“Anytime.”

“Sorry I kind of ruined the conversation with my freak-out.”

“Merritt, trust me. You didn’t ruin anything.” The deep timbre of his voice and his steady stare made her believe him.

Tiikaan paid with an insistence that it was his turn. “You’ll get the next one.”

Merritt’s smile hurt her cheeks as they weaved their way out of the small restaurant. She liked the idea of there being a next time. Maybe they could circle through every restaurant in town. There couldn’t be that many.

“Want to know what I learned tonight?” Tiikaan asked as he held the door open for her.

“Other than my flight response to even the mention of bears?”

His low chuckle spooled in her gut like warm caramel.

“I can tell you really miss what you’ve been doing overseas. Have you considered how much good Harland’s philanthropy could do in Alaska?” Tiikaan’s soft question as he followed her to her car had her turning around and leaning on the driver’s door.

“How’s that?”

He shoved his hands in his Chris Pratt-esque cargo vest that was even sexier in real life. “I’m not sure how much you know about Alaska, but it’s not the easiest place to live.”

He took a deep breath like he needed to bolster himself to continue. “Drugs and alcohol in rural communities like here and Tok, where I’m from, are a massive problem. Alaska is the most dangerous state for women with fifty-nine percent of adult women experiencing domestic violence. Our sexual abuse rate is four times the national rate. Trafficking is on the rise. Suicides among teens are on the epidemic level. It’s just––”

He cut off his words and stared across the street to the ocean. Tears pricked her eyes. She had known Alaska had a high suicide rate, but she had no clue about all of this. He clenched his jaw and rocked back on his heels before looking back at her.

“I’m not saying what you do overseas isn’t needed. Lord knows it is, but maybe you being here has a bigger purpose than getting the mine up and running.” He shrugged and shook his head.

“I honestly have no clue what can be done to help, and I know that one organization would never be able to fix everything that leads to these problems. I mean, even things like modern water and sewer are a problem for a lot of rural communities. But I feel like with all your work you’ve done in other places, you might have a unique perspective that could lend some insight and change.”

“I don’t know if I––” Her throat closed as all her family’s jabs at her being useless rushed her mind, and she reached up to finger her necklace.

“And I’m not saying you have to. But after watching you work today and listening to you tonight, I think you might hold the answer to a lot of people’s prayers.” Tiikaan’s unflinching gaze quieted the doubt.

Not completely, but enough that she could see the truth of his words.

She swallowed. “Okay. I’ll look into it.”

His smile hit hard and almost buckled her knees.

“All right, boss.” He walked backward toward the street. “See you in the morning.”

On the short drive home, her gaze bounced from the weathered houses to the kids playing in the streets and the elderly visiting on lawn chairs in front yards. A seed of purpose embedded itself in her heart.

She did have resources others didn’t, and helping children and women fueled something deep inside her. But with her responsibilities at the mine and trying to figure out why her dad left her that warning, being overwhelmed was an understatement. There was no way she could take on any more.