Page 24

TWENTY-FOUR

Merritt was far from safe.

She was shivering in Tiikaan’s arms on the side of a river in the middle the Alaskan wilderness. Granted, the arms were nice and did give her a sense of assurance. Yet Merritt and Tiikaan were so far from safe she’d laugh at the word if she wasn’t frozen.

Tiikaan took a deep breath, his chest pushing against her back, then huffed it out with a groan. “We gotta get moving.”

“Where?”

Merritt tried to push from the comfort of his arms. She really did, but her muscles refused to move. She’d never been this weak or cold in her entire life.

Guess almost dying didn’t agree with her body.

Tiikaan lifted her, placing her on the muddy ground next to him. He groaned long and loud as he rolled to his knees and pushed to his feet. He tipped his chin to the forest that loomed over them as he pulled his pack on.

“This area is a rescue nightmare. ”

He pointed to the cliffs jutting up from the river on the other side to the tree-lined banks on the side they were on, the trees practically bowing over the river. “No landing space for a plane, and even the hotshot helicopter pilot brother of mine wouldn’t be able to get his bird in that tight area.”

She crawled to her knees, but when she went to stand, her legs collapsed. “I don’t… I can’t.”

Tears burned her eyes and closed her throat. How could her uncle, her dad’s only relative aside from herself, do this? Had Dad known it was Nolan and that was why he said to trust no one?

She bent over her knees and put her forehead on the cold mud, the urge to vomit having nothing to do with swallowing gallons of water. She attempted to rein in the emotions threatening to drown her, just as the river had tried. But her deep breaths caught and stuttered with silent sobs.

A large, warm hand settled on her back, rubbing in slow circles. Tiikaan didn’t tell her to suck it up. He didn’t.

He simply kneeled beside her, like he knew there was no holding back the tide within her. Each circle of his palm loosened the tightness in her chest, making breathing easier. Each deep breath calmed her mind a bit more.

Maybe riding out the tsunami of emotions instead of fighting it would help her cope. Because struggling against everything building in her since her dad’s death—shoot, since her mom’s death when she was seven— dragged her to a place and into a person she didn’t want to be.

With the ability to breathe again, she prayed for strength, not only of body but of mind. If she didn’t want Nolan’s betrayal to destroy her, she needed both. Otherwise, the now-tainted memories rushing through her mind would make her tenuous hold snap.

“I’m fine.” Her trembling voice called her a liar. She took another deep breath and sat up. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not.” Tiikaan stood and held out his hand to help her up. “But you will be. Mom always said it’s okay if you need a breather when you get the wind knocked out of you. But getting it knocked out of you and letting it knock you down are two different things.”

“I’d love to meet your mom.” The image of a home filled with love and the scent of fresh cinnamon rolls took place in her mind.

“Oh, you will.” He wrapped his hand around her arm. “As soon as we get out of here, I’m taking you home.”

“Really?”

“We’re not letting go, remember?”

Oh, she remembered all right. She swore her lips still tingled.

“Though, knowing my family, as soon as they realize we’re missing, even if they think it’s just our bodies, they’ll all be in Barrow with a hotel room as their base. Maps with search grids will be tacked to the walls, and no stone will be left unturned.”

As he talked about the type of family she’d always fantasized about growing up, she got her feet under her. Her legs shouldn’t feel so heavy. When she pushed to stand, even with Tiikaan pulling her, her knees buckled.

“I’m sorry. I just… I don’t—” A tear slipped from her eye.

“Hey. Your body’s toast. Tapped out.” He cupped her cheek with his chilled hands and wiped the tear with his thumb. “That tends to happen when you survive not only a plane crash but almost drowning.”

He grabbed her pack and handed it to her. “Hold this in front of you.”

When she had it in her lap, he bent and scooped her into his arms like a baby… or a bride. His arm muscles trembled beneath her thighs and across her back. He took a step, adjusted his hold on her, then continued through the woods.

“Tiikaan, no.” She tried to shift to have him put her down, but he tightened his hands. “I can walk if you help me. You’ve got to be close to exhaustion, too.”

“I’m good. At least for a bit.” He turned sideways to push them through some tightly woven willow branches. “We don’t need to go far. We just need to find a place to bunk down.”

Merritt nestled against Tiikaan’s chest, her heart racing at the closeness. His steady breathing and the rhythmic crunch of his footsteps on the forest floor lulled her into a trancelike state. She fought to keep her eyes open, watching the moss-covered ground and gnarled roots pass beneath them.

With each step, she expected him to set her down, but he pressed on, his muscles trembling beneath her. The urge to protest bubbled up in her throat, but she swallowed it back. There was something comforting, almost primal, about being carried like this through the wilderness.

“What exactly are we looking for?” she finally thought to ask.

Her legs may be spent, but her eyes still worked.

Tiikaan’s chest rumbled as he spoke. “Somewhere with dry ground. We need to get out of these wet clothes before hypothermia sets in.”

Merritt’s cheeks flushed thinking about changing clothes in front of him, but she pushed the thought aside and focused on their surroundings.

The Alaskan wilderness seemed determined to thwart their efforts. Every patch of earth glistened with moisture, and the air itself felt heavy with humidity from the storm. Or maybe that was the constant atmosphere of the Brooks Range.

She scanned the landscape, desperation growing with each passing moment. Tiikaan’s breathing had grown labored, and she could feel the tremors in his arms increasing.

Just as she was about to insist he put her down, Merritt spotted a rocky outcropping jutting from the mountainside.

“There!” She pointed toward the formation. “Those rocks look dry.”

His pace quickened, his grip on her tightening as he navigated the uneven terrain. Merritt clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders as they approached what she hoped would be their sanctuary in this unforgiving wilderness .

Tiikaan gently set Merritt down on the first flat rock, his hands lingering on her waist for a moment longer than necessary. He plucked her pack from her grasp, his eyes meeting hers with an intensity that made her breath catch.

“I’ll be right back.”

Before she could protest, he turned and began scaling the jumble of rocks that lined the mountainside. Merritt watched, her heart in her throat, as one minute he was clambering up the rock and the next he dropped from sight.

“Tiikaan?” she called out, her voice wavering.

Silence answered her.

Panic clawed at her chest. She pushed herself to her feet, her legs trembling beneath her. Had he fallen into a hole? Cracked his head against a rock?

“Tiikaan!” she yelled again, louder this time.

Still no response.

Fear propelled her forward. She climbed up the rocks, her weakened muscles screaming in protest. The rough surface of the rocks bit into her palms and knees as she crawled upward, each movement a battle against her exhaustion.

“Please,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes. “Please be okay.”

She was about halfway to where he’d disappeared when movement caught her eye. His head popped out from between the rocks, looking like a meerkat she’d seen in Africa. His eyes widened when he saw her.

Relief flooded through Merritt, so intense it made her dizzy. She sagged against the nearest boulder .

He scrambled down the rocks toward her, his movements quick and sure. He reached her side in seconds, his warm hands cupping her face.

“Hey, I’m here.” His thumbs brushed away tears she hadn’t realized she’d shed. “I found us a place to camp for the night. It’s not perfect, Merritt, but we’ll be safe there.”

His words washed over her like a soothing balm, and she leaned into his touch, allowing herself a moment to soak up his presence.

Tiikaan’s arm slid around Merritt’s waist, supporting her as they made their way up the remaining rocks. His touch was both steadying and electrifying, sending shivers through her that had nothing to do with the cold.

“Almost there,” he murmured, his breath warm against her ear.

They reached a large fissure in the ground, nestled between two massive boulders. He released her gently, then lowered himself into the opening. He turned back to her, arms outstretched.

“Come on,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.”

Merritt hesitated for a split second before allowing him to guide her down. His strong hands gripped her waist, lifting her effortlessly into the shelter. As her feet touched the ground, she found herself pressed against his chest, her face coming to rest in the crook of his neck.

She should step back, she knew. But her body refused to move. Instead, she leaned into him, drinking in his warmth, his strength. His arms tightened around her, one hand splaying across her lower back, the other cradling the nape of her neck .

For a long moment, they stood there, clinging to each other in the dim light of their rocky refuge. Merritt could feel his heart pounding against her cheek, matching the frantic rhythm of her own. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to linger.

In that moment, surrounded by his warmth and the solid presence of his body, Merritt realized she never wanted to let go.

Tiikaan’s lips brushed against the side of Merritt’s head, sending a wave of warmth through her despite her sodden clothes. He eased away, his hand finding hers as he guided her deeper into the fissure.

The narrow opening widened into a small cave-like space, barely big enough for two people to lie down. Their packs rested against one rocky wall. He leaned her gently against the opposite side, his touch lingering before he bent to rummage through his large pack.

Merritt surveyed their shelter. The walls stretched about six feet high, with another rock forming a partial roof at the highest end of the cave. She swallowed hard, pushing away the irrational fear that the rocks might collapse on them at any moment.

“It’s not the Ritz,” Tiikaan said, straightening up with a tarp and hatchet in his hands, “but it’ll keep us dry.”

He moved to the entrance, shaking out the tarp. “I’m going to stretch this across the top for a roof, then go search for some firewood. While I’m gone, you should change out of those wet clothes.”

Merritt’s eyes widened. “You’re leaving me?”

His expression softened. “I’ll be quick. Promise. ”

She nodded, suddenly acutely aware of how her clothes clung to her skin and how far from anywhere they were.

“Good,” he said, his voice gentle. “I’ll announce myself before I come back in. Don’t worry, you’re safe here.”

With that, he ducked out, leaving Merritt alone in their makeshift shelter. The sound of the tarp snapping from above barely audible over her pounding heart.

She jumped when he appeared on the edge of the fissure and started shoving the tarp under the overhanging rock. His hands trembled as he worked, and he stopped every now and then to shake them out.

He was freezing, just like her, and if she didn’t snap out of it, he’d have to take care of her before he could take care of himself. Not that she’d expect it. That was just the type of man he was. She didn’t want to be any more of a burden than she already was.

With that thought firmly in mind, she plopped down near her pack, unclipped the sides, and unrolled the top, then pulled items out, carefully lining them up.

There was a gallon-sized ziplock bag with a map and compass in it, a small portable stove hidden inside a camp mug, another ziplock with twigs and what looked like little paper bag packets, six energy bars, and four freeze-dried meals, all vegetarian.

She swallowed the lump in her throat that he considered her preference, even in an emergency. Next came a small stuffed bag she assumed was a sleeping bag.

When all of that was out, she saw a long flat bag made out of the same ram head logo and waterproof rubberlike nylon material the backpack was made out of. Unzipping it revealed a warm hat, gloves, thermal underclothes, a pair of jeans, and a flannel shirt. Under that were wool socks.

Her cheeks and neck heated as her eyes blurred. He’d truly thought of everything.

“I’m going to look for firewood now. I won’t be long.” Tiikaan’s voice jerked her gaze to the bright-blue tarp stretched over the opening above.

How had he gotten a roof over their heads, and she hadn’t even unfolded her clothes?

“Okay,” she called back, rolling her eyes when her voice cracked.

So much for being strong.

She scrambled to unzip her jacket, her numb fingers fumbling with the zipper. The ache in her muscles as she pulled off her clothes felt like she’d been thrown into a meat grinder. Every movement sent shards of pain through her body, her bones replaced with broken glass.

Peeling off her shirt was like ripping off a layer of skin, the wet fabric clinging stubbornly to her body. She gasped at the purple and blue bruises mottling her skin.

Her fingers, stiff as icicles, fumbled with the buttons of her jeans. Each attempt to undo them sent jolts of pain up her arms, as if she were trying to bend frozen twigs.

As she struggled out of her pants, her legs trembled. The simple act of standing made her feel like Atlas, the weight of the world pressing her down into the ground. Her teeth chattered, a staccato rhythm that filled in the small space.

The cold air hit her damp skin, raising goosebumps that felt like a thousand tiny needles pricking her flesh. Merritt reached for the dry clothes with the desperation of a drowning person grasping for a lifeline.

Each piece she put on was a battle against her uncooperative body, but also a small victory against the cold that had seeped into her very bones. When she was fully dressed, she hugged herself.

She couldn’t just sit there waiting. If Tiikaan could push through the cold, not even stopping to change into dry clothes, she could, too.

Snatching up the sleeping bag, she yanked it out of the tiny holder, completely out of breath when she finished, and laid it out in the widest space beneath the tarp. Next, she dug through Tiikaan’s much larger pack, completely amazed at the meticulously chosen gear, until she found his sleeping bag and stretched it out beside hers.

She grabbed the little metal Bushbuddy stove, no bigger than a small paint can. With the cold frying her braincells, she cursed as she turned the two-piece stove this way and that, frustration mounting with each second.

Before she tossed the infuriating thing against the stone wall, she set it down, grabbed her sleeping bag, and unzipped it so she could sit on the bottom and wrap the top around her shoulders. Slightly warmer, she took a deep breath and figured out the way-too-simple setup for the stove.

“Okay. I’ve got this.”

She placed one of the paper bag packets in the bottom of the stove and loosely stacked some of the twigs around the packet. Her hand shook so hard as she struck the first match against the metal container she found them in that it snapped in half.

The next one did the same, and her vision blurred with tears.

“Come on.” The third match went in the stove with the other two broken ones. “Please, Lord, help.”

She tucked her hands under her armpits and closed her eyes against the tears leaking relentlessly from them. Who was she kidding?

She wasn’t strong.

Definitely not capable.

She was nothing but a pampered socialite. Sure, she’d gone to troubled areas, but even there she was a fraud. She always had her private tent. Always had supplies and food, little necessities that were nothing more than comforts, while the people suffered around her.

She was a fake.

Changing to what was expected. Not solid in herself. Definitely not having any worthy skills.

She couldn’t even start a freaking fire. Tiikaan would’ve had a better chance at surviving if he would’ve just let her drown.