Page 98 of A Real Goode Time

“Size nothing waist? Try size seven, sweetheart. I haven’t been below a five since I had the baby.”

We were surrounded by the group of women we’d been talking about.

Torie was frozen, blushing. “I…I…”

There was a burst of cackling laughter from a pixie blond with small tits and a fairly sizeable butt for a woman who was barely five feet tall. She wrapped an arm around Torie. “Honey, you’re comparing apples to oranges to kumquats.”

“Yeah, and you’re the kum-twat, I mean, kumquat.” This from a short woman with longer hair and ridiculously huge boobs.

As Torie had pointed out, there wasn’t a plain woman among them.

“Shut up, Mara.” She said this straight-faced and turned back to Torie. “Ignore her, she’s a slut. My point is—I’m Claire by the way—I’ve decided to be your fairy goddessmother, and I hereby vow to make sure you feel at home and that everyone is nice, and to make sure you have at least eight shots of whiskey before the night is over.”

“I’m twenty.” Torie lifted an eyebrow.

Claire blinked. Turned, cupped her hands around her mouth, and bellowed. “MAMA LIVVIE!”

Torie gaped. “Mama Livvie?”

Claire winked at Torie. “Oh yeah. She’s our honorary Mama Bear. You have the best mother in the whole wide motherfuckin’ world, by the way. Hope you know that.”

Liv came over with a can of light beer in her hand, and a gargantuan grizzly bear turned human at her side. “You bellowed, my love?”

The man was six-six at least, and built like a bear, with massive arms that were solid muscle, wearing a cut-off T-shirt and sporting tattoos and a salt and pepper goatee.

“Yeah. Can I get Torie naked wasted even though she’s not twenty-one yet?”

Liv snickered. “I dunno about naked wasted, but she’s lived on her own since she was seventeen, and I’m under no misapprehensions that she hasn’t indulged in that time. So I would say that Torie is entirely capable of making her own decisions on that score.” She shrugged. “Beware, though, of all my daughters, Torie is the most unpredictable. You never know what you’re gonna get with her, so I’m guessing her tolerance might surprise you.”

I blinked at Mom. “Unpredictable?”

Mom just smiled at me. “Yes, my dear. You’re a ‘still waters run deep’ sort. Somewhere between Cassie and Charlie. Not a livewire like Lex, but not a goody-goody like Charlie.”

“I’mnota goody-goody,” came a voice from one side, and a woman who was clearly a Goode sister pushed into the circle, which widened to accommodate her. “I just don’t find it fun to flaunt the rules. Usually.”

Beside her was a tall, angular man with messy black hair and mirrored sunglasses on his head. Just going by appearances, he looked like he was Native American. He was wearing black jeans, big black shitkicker biker boots, and a black leather vest with motorcycle club patches all over it.

I was just listening, watching the banter.

“So, by the by, how did this mini gathering come about?” Liv asked.

Claire jerked a thumb at Torie. “This one was expressing how she has a major girl crush on all of us.”

The other blond, Mara, I think her name was, whacked Claire across the shoulder. “Oh shut up, bitch-face. She was not. She was…well…”

“I was being insecure,” Torie finished. “Everyone here is beautiful and voluptuous, and I’ve always had a bit of a thing about being flat.”

Claire turned to face Torie and, brazen as you please, cupped Torie’s boobs over her shirt, giving them a heft and a squeeze. She shook her head, pressed her hands to her shirt to highlight a whole of, well, admittedly not much. “Nope. You’re not flat—thisis flat.” She cut a look at me. “Avert your eyes, new guy to whom I’ve not been introduced, you too Papa Lucas.”

I blinked, hesitated a moment, and turned around, found myself next to the bear-man, who was also facing away.

“Theseare itty bitty titties,” I heard Claire say. “Barely mosquito bites.Youhave magnificent mammaries, and you’re being ridiculous, and if you don’t stop it we’re going to be fighting and trust me, you don’t want to get on my bad side. I can be a major bitch. You’re sexy as fuck, and your boy toy is a lucky, lucky man.”

“Hear hear,” I said, pumping my fist in the air.

That got a round of laughter, and Torie span me back around. “This is Rhys.”

Claire shook my hand. “I’m Claire. Welcome to the clan, Rhys. You scared yet?”