Page 50 of A Murder is Going Down

‘It’s my middle name and I’ve used it since I was ten,’ Michael says.

Patrick looks suspiciously at Michael’s dark brown hair. ‘And since when have you started dyeing your hair? Are you going grey? Do I need to worry that premature ageing is coming for me too?’

‘It’s for a role,’ Michael says, his cheeks unexpectedly pink. ‘And I think you’re in the clear, Patrick. The utter lack of stress in your life means you’ll probably age backwards. Like Benjamin Button.’

‘Patrick, the toddler years,’ Elena says. ‘It’d be worse than puberty.’ And they all crack up again, laughing hard enough that I see a tear slide down Elena’s cheek.

Now

The lift starts to move and Marianne and I cheer.

‘Go on,’ Marianne says. ‘You’ve got thirty seconds. Who killed Felix? Was it Farnoosh? No, wait, Aunty Sam – that whole house business sounds suss to me. Final guess, Adam. Elena had told him she couldn’t leave Felix.’

‘It’s complicated,’ I say.

‘Summarise.’

Then

Aunty Sam and I do the washing-up after dinner that night. (We had nachos, so it’s a nightmare.)

Now

‘Taking ten seconds to describe the washing-up is necessary, is it?’ Marianne asks.

‘Aunty Sam and I had this whole conversation where she said I was fixating on Felix’s death to avoid grieving for him and having to process the complex nature of our relationship. It was a nice moment,’ I say.

‘Skip to the end.’

‘But I told Aunty Sam I’d drop it and then almost immediately betrayed her trust. How are you going to appreciate my emotional arc if I skip this scene?’

‘The CliffsNotes version is fine,’ Marianne says.

‘It won’t make any sense if I don’t tell you the next bit.’

‘What’s the next bit?’

‘When we went to see Adam.’

‘The Maybe Affair guy? What did he tell you?Washe the affair guy?’

‘Yes,’ I say, ‘but not quite how we thought.’

Then

We drive out to meet Adam two days later. The heat is …

Now

‘We’re doing the weather now. Really?’ Marianne frowns.

‘Every interruption is only making this take longer,’ I say.

The lift stops moving.

‘Now see what you’ve done,’ Marianne says. She slaps the control panel with her open hand. ‘This is bullshit. I’m going to have a panic attack.’

I don’t wait to be asked.