Page 49 of A Murder is Going Down

‘Now that Elena will inherit his share—’

‘It’ll take a few months for the legal paperwork,’ Elena interrupts.

‘—I can buy her out.’ Aunty Sam brightens. ‘And then you’ll have some money coming your way regardless of how the life insurance claim goes, Elena.’ She stands up, murmuring something about getting another bottle.

‘You never know, we might have some good news on that insurance claim, too,’ Patrick says.

‘My ridiculous little brother,’ Michael says. ‘Are you seriously angling for a deerstalker hat?’

‘I have no idea what that means,’ Patrick says.

‘YouknowSherlock Holmes wears a deerstalker hat. We watched the TV show together.’

‘I know Benedict Cumberbatch – what’s happened to that guy, anyway? – briefly wore a silly little hat inone episodeofSherlock. Only a nerd would know what it’s called,’ Patrick says. I suspect, but can’t be sure, that he’s lying.

‘You know what I mean. Are you seriously trying toinvestigateFelix’s death?’ Michael asks. He knocks back his glass, then picks up Elena’s without asking. Older brothers.

‘Investigateis such an ugly word,’ Patrick says, while I busy myself with my phone (no messages, no missed calls), hoping nobody directs a question at me, because I don’t have Patrick’s gift for bullshit. ‘But yes, since you asked, we already have a promising lead.’

‘Like what?’ Michael echoes my thoughts.

‘My phone got stolen, remember?’ Patrick says. ‘Who would steal my phone if the photos on it weren’t significant?’

‘Someone who wants to sell a stolen iPhone? Also, brother, just a reminder that you go back to school next Monday, so the clock’s ticking on this Mystery of the Week.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Seriously,’ Elena interjects. ‘School is important, Patrick. I thought you’d be dying to get back to Melbourne. You hate Perth.’

‘Perth’s okay,’ Patrick says. ‘Melbourne’s just the best city in the world.’

‘I don’t care how many times you say it, the Victorian Tourism Board is not giving you a gig,’ Michael says.

This feeble joke takes some of the heat out of the conversation, just as Aunty Sam comes back with a fresh bottle of champagne.

‘My only sister needs me here in Perth,’ Patrick says, smiling winningly at Elena. She just shakes her head.

‘Your onlybrotherhas to go back home to work so he can pay our rent,’ Michael points out.

‘I’m surprised you live in Melbourne and not Sydney,’ Aunty Sam says. ‘I would have thought there was more acting work in Sydney.’

‘If it was just me, I probably would have moved, but …’ Michael shrugs in Patrick’s direction.

‘Of course,’ Aunty Sam says. The two of them swap a little smile and I’m reminded that Michael and Aunty Sam were both forced to become quasi parents.

Patrick shits all over the moment, because, hello, have you met this guy? ‘Sydney.’ Patrick scrunches his lips. ‘Even if we could afford to live there, would we really want to share a space with coked-up hedge fund managers?’

‘Patrick.’

‘Sorry. I shouldn’t sayhedge fund managersin front of Heidi. It’s not right.’

I don’t know if it’s Patrick’s inane joke or the empty bottle of champagne, but Michael cracks up and he sets Elena off too. Patrick and I start giggling and even Aunty Sam looks amused. None of us mention that Felix was one of those finance bros Patrick so clearly hates, although I’m thinking it.

‘You’d blend right into Sydney with your botox.’ Patrick is still going.

‘I do not have botox,’ Michael says. ‘I’m twenty-bloody-six.’

‘I should have known it would end this way the day you decided you needed a stage name,’ Patrick says.