Page 61 of A Million Times, Yes

How the fuck could I fix this?

How would I get her back?

As the water massaged my muscles, my brain didn’t empty. It only got busier as the thoughts thrashed through me. And it got fuller, the emotions thickening, the fear that I was never going to get her back increasing.

Therefore, there was no explanation for why my dick was so hard.

Why it was fucking throbbing.

Why the heat of the water wasn’t causing my hard-on to die rather than rage on.

I squirted some soap into my hand and rubbed my palm over my chest and down my abs and stopped at the base of my shaft, squeezing the bottom, taunting the tip as a whole new set of thoughts came in.

What if I never thrust into her pussy again?

What if that was the last time I would ever feel its tightness? Or the wetness after I got done licking it? Or the way it pulsed around me as she was coming?

Because that feeling of her, the way her cunt took me, her walls narrowing around my width, was something I wanted.

Something I needed.

Something I’d never be able to replace.

My hand began to rise toward my crown, circling the top so my palm slid across it before it dropped to the bottom. There wasn’t any kindness in my grip. No softness like when her fingers caressed me. No gentleness as I lifted, pumping my length, pounding it so hard that only grunts came through my lips.

I didn’t need to imagine her body. Her pussy. Her mouth.

Because she was all I could see.

All I could think about.

All I could feel as my hand picked up speed.

I was trying to fuck the anger and fear out of me.

But the only thing happening was an orgasm.

One that came bolting through my body, churning in my balls, shooting through my dick and straight out my tip. “Maya!” Her name was already there; it just had to be shouted. And as the tingles peaked, I yelled again, “Maya!”

I stroked harder.

I even firmed up my fingers to beat the cum out of me.

And—“Fuuuck . . .”—I came.

A thick white stream arched through the air and landed on top of the drain. I kept up the pace, drawing out another load, and a third, before my hand stilled.

I swallowed and caught my breath, and I released my dick, my fingers joining the others that were still pushing against the wall.

As I stood there, panting, I realized the only thing I’d just accomplished was emptying myself.

Because as far as Maya was concerned, not a goddamn thing had changed.

Chapter Sixteen

Maya

Jordan:I’m headed out for a run. I hope I see you.