Page 55 of A Mastery of Monsters

I stare at the empty box.

Finally, I pick it up and exit the maze, stumbling out from the corn.

A South Asian–looking man comes over and holds out his hand. I give him the pouch and the empty box. He shakes the coins out and counts them. “Four. Disqualified.”

“No,” I say. “There’s supposed to be five.”

The man gives me an odd look. “Yes… but you only have four.”

I stab my finger at the box. “I opened it, and nothing was inside.”

There’s a sharp laugh to my left. Caden is bumping fists with his friend. As if sensing me staring, he turns my way and smirks. “Better luck next time.”

Just like I saw the box with that girl’s face and knew who it belonged to, Caden also had access to my box. It’s completely unhinged. He would have had to waste time sitting and figuring out which one was Virgil.

But this is the boy he hates. The one whose parents killed one of his. I’m sure he knows Virgil’s face as well as I do. Maybe even better.

I stomp toward him, ears ringing. Maybe it’s something in my eyes that makes Caden’s smirk drop away, and before he can prepare himself, I lunge at him.

And am tugged back by my collar so hard that I fall on my ass with a grunt.

Behind me, Bernie winces and holds his hands up.

“Apologies, no fighting. Fighting will get you disqualified.” I have to close my mouth, which I didn’t realize had dropped open.

I wouldn’t have guessed he had the strength to yank me back like that.

But it’s cost him. The professor has to take a moment to lean against the corn, gripping the stalk like a lifeline.

When the other professors come around the corner, Caden screeches at them, “She attacked me!” Accompanied by a helpful point.

Chen frowns and looks at Bernie, who says, “There was no physical contact, though Ms. Black is rather upset about something.”

“Bullshit!” Caden screams, spit flying from his mouth. His friend beside him backs him up.

Perez says to me, “What happened?”

“He,” I motion to Caden, “fucked with my box. It was the last token I needed, and when I opened it, there wasn’t a token inside.”

“That’s a serious allegation.”

“Roll back the footage.” I wave at the drones. “You have it. Roll it back and you’ll see what he did.”

Perez regards me, crossing his muscled arms over his chest. “You’re going to look ridiculous if you’re wrong.”

“I’m not.”

The professors get into a small huddle and whisper for a bit. Finally, they declare that they’re going to go check with the panel of Masters and head to the portable.

I throw a poisonous look at Caden, who glares back at me.

Margot, Virgil, and Corey come around the corner along with a few other trainers.

Caden spots them and says, “You need to keep your bitch on a fucking leash.”

Virgil freezes and turns to the candidate. When he speaks, his voice has the texture of low grit sandpaper. “Excuse me?”

Caden shrinks like a kicked puppy, stumbling over his words. “She—she attacked me! She’s out of control!”

That makes Virgil’s face go slack, and he turns to me for confirmation.

I look away.

Corey sighs, and Margot swears.

“I didn’t touch him,” I say. “Bernie stopped me.”

“Wow, so a real adult had to help you make a decent decision for once,” Virgil says, shaking his head.

I don’t know why I’m bothering to defend myself. “He fucked with my box. He took the bonus token, and it’s the one I need to get five.”

Virgil squints at me. “Hold on, you thought he did something that would get you disqualified, and so your solution was to do something that would get you disqualified?”

I hunch my shoulders. “I…”

“You weren’t thinking about that, right? Because you never do. You never think about anyone but yourself. Even all this, which you’re supposedly doing for someone else!”

“I know! I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re out of control, and I’m tired of watching it. Do whatever you want. I’ll just wait to be taken to the Pen. That’s somehow less stressful than watching you slow-motion fail.” Virgil stomps away. Corey looks between us and then chases after her friend, leaving me and Margot standing there.

My chest is heaving, and I don’t bother to hide it.

The professors come back around the corner. Chen says, “There should have been a token in that box, and we can confirm that before that point you had collected four tokens, making it your fifth. You’ll be counted as a pass.”

“What about the footage of Caden tampering with it?” I ask.

“It’s a live video feed,” comes a voice from behind them, and who should stroll around the corner but James Shaw.

Margot stiffens beside me. He’s dressed in a pair of slacks and a polo like he’s off to a round of golf.

“No one saw this alleged tampering. But there was an oversight in getting your token into the box. Easily solved.”

The professors say nothing, but I notice the way Bernie’s fists clench and unclench at his sides.

I don’t know if he’s annoyed because James is lying and he can’t dispute it, or if he’s just frustrated.

I know Bernie wants me to succeed because he wants Virgil to be saved.

Caden being punished isn’t exactly a part of that, but it’s still annoying.

“Thank you,” Margot says because I refuse to respond. “We appreciate the panel taking the time to look into this error and awarding August a passing grade.”

“The girl is lucky she didn’t get disqualified for attacking another candidate,” James says.

“There was no physical contact.”

“Yes, I suppose you would know all about that little technicality,” he muses. “Isn’t that how you avoided disqualification in your first test?”

I jerk my head toward Margot. Excuse me? Ms. Perfect almost got disqualified?

“I conducted myself within the rules of the candidacy,” she says.

For a moment they simply stare at each other, and then James laughs. “Yes, yes, I can tell you’re one of Henry’s. He has that same sort of familiarity. You don’t shrink in the presence of a Doctorate.”

“Doctorate candidate ,” Margot amends.

The good humor on James’s face sours.

“Would you care to meet more of the Bachelor candidates, sir?” Bernie asks, waving at the others.

James holds back a sneer, his lip curling ever so slightly. “Very well.”

Bernie and the other professors leave with James.

Margot lets out a long slow breath before turning to me and saying, “Let’s go.”

I follow her because I need a ride back to the mainland, though I would have preferred to stomp off like Virgil. I look sidelong at my trainer. “That was kind of mouthy.”

“Yes, I know. I am not immune to losing my temper.”

“Kind of makes me feel better.”

Margot sighs. “Virgil has spent his entire life holding everything in. He holds in anger and frustration, but also fear and disappointment. For him, these sorts of things should be second nature, and that’s why what you do is so frustrating.

He doesn’t understand the idea of not being able to be restrained like that. ”

I clocked that much. He’s a strict little rule-follower. And I get it. He has to be. But he also can’t expect me to be exactly like him.

And honestly, maybe I don’t know how to hold myself in anymore.

At the same time, I know Virgil is right.

Even Corey said it. I’ve said it myself too.

I don’t think about other people the way I should.

Before, I thought about them too much. There’s some sort of balance that I’ve yet to reach, I guess because I wasn’t trying to. In fact, I was doing the opposite.

Margot says, “I had a Caden of my own. Several, actually. That first test meant navigating the tunnels that run under the city, searching for tokens again, and like you, I was targeted. But then there was this sewage pipe that led outside. Pretty steep drop down. One of them tripped. He was dangling over a ledge. I went to get help… taking my time. He was rescued. But he insisted that I tripped him. My disqualification was discussed heavily.”

“…Did you?”

“Obviously,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“But it was subtle. They weren’t lying about the feed being live only.

Dangerous to keep video proof of monsters.

The panel can’t notice everything. And yes, it felt good in the moment, but when my disqualification was being considered, and I realized that I could have failed Isaac for a tiny bit of revenge, I hated myself.

That’s the part that Virgil misses. ’Cause I know you feel like shit when you do this stuff.

I know it affects you. And I know you don’t do it on purpose.

It just happens. I know, because I’m the same. ”

I kick at the grass. “How did you stop?”

“By trying. By trying as much as I could as often as I could.”

“I don’t want to be someone’s perfect show pony,” I say. “I want to be me.”

“Then be you! No one is asking you to become Virgil or Corey or whoever. Just find a way to do you that doesn’t torpedo the things you actually want in your life.”

It’s hard to picture Margot as being anything like me, but I guess I see it. Like with the lazy comment shit. She got pissed and stressed and said crap without thinking. Instead of discussing it further, I say, “Caden wouldn’t have been subtle. Someone saw him mess with my box.”

“Almost definitely. He knows he’s got some degree of insulation.

His dad is high up, and his mom was beloved in life.

His great, great, whatever grandfather even went to medical school with Dr. Weiss.

That’s why this is the hardest part of the process for us.

Because you and I are no one. We only have four Progressives on the panel.

They probably saw it. But they don’t have the numbers for anything they say to matter, so they stay quiet.

Especially if James is going to come and skulk around to see how they’re proceeding. ”

“He wants me to fail.”

“Yes. Because it makes Adam look bad. And James wants to win.”

And here I thought these politics didn’t have anything to do with me. Now I know the score. Caden and his friends can mess with me in the tasks with no consequences. Once again, I’ll have to work twice as hard as anyone else to get ahead.

The same way Margot did.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t want this society competition to be the only way to help Jules, but I also don’t want to do it Riley’s way. I want nothing to do with anything.

But I can’t do that anymore. I can’t check out. I can’t not care.

“What are we supposed to do if Virgil is giving up?” I ask.

Margot scoffs. “He’ll come around. This is his life we’re talking about.

He’s just not sure what to do with his emotions.

He’s never encountered someone like you, and he’s learning how to navigate your relationship.

He’s throwing a fit over what he can’t control.

” She glances at me. “Not unlike a certain someone who went clubbing I assume because she’s frustrated with her lack of control over this process. ”

She’s wrong, but she’s also not.

“I’m gonna take a walk,” I say, striding away from Margot before she can say anything.

In the parking lot, eyes land on me, and I ignore them, hunching my shoulders. A car horn beeps beside me. I jerk my head toward the sound, ready to snap at Margot to give me some space, but it isn’t her.

It’s Adam, in a green Jeep. He rolls down the passenger side window and leans over. “Need a ride?”