Page 34 of A Love That Saved Us

The Bears score a touchdown, tying up the game. Two of my fantasy players are in, and I’m barely paying attention. My focus is completely on Alley now.

The room goes quiet when the game cuts to commercial. I look over at Matt—he’s sprawled on the couch, beer in one hand, the other draped along the back cushion.

His life looks so simple from the outside. No one to let down. No expectations. Just work, friends, and the occasional hookup. I used to envy that—how easy it seemed. But knowing what it feels like to be loved by Alley, to wake up next to her, to be the one making her laugh. Losing her might break me. But not loving her at all would’ve been worse.

“I spoke to my lawyer the other day,” I say casually.

Matt mutes the TV, sitting up a little. “And?”

“He said I’ve got thirty days to respond. If I don’t agree with the terms, I can file a response and request mediation. Then I’d at least get the chance to see her.” I toss a hand in the air. “You know, without showing up on her doorstep uninvited.”

Part of me wants to just get on a damn plane and go to Chicago. But what would that prove? That I can’t respect her boundaries? I don’t know what the right move is. I just know I don’t want to lose her.

“So are you going to?” He takes another sip of his beer. “Push for mediation?”

I nod. “Yeah. It’s already in motion.”

“What reason did you give?”

I scoff, shaking my head. “You should see the terms of the divorce. She only asked for twenty-five percent of everything.” I still can’t believe it. “It’s so Alley—never taking more than she needs. She made twenty-five percent of the income, so I guess she thinks that’s all she’s entitled to from our life together.”

My stomach knots thinking about it. Cutting everything in half. Cuttingusin half. “And she only listed a few things from the apartment, mostly stuff that was hers to begin with.”

I press the glass bottle of water to my lips and take a swallow. Everything tastes bitter—the words, the thoughts, the water, reality. Bitter and fucking rancid.

“Guess she doesn’t want anything that reminds her of me.” I rake a hand through my hair. “Of us.”

He’s shaking his head. The game’s back on, but he doesn’t unmute the TV. “Don’t say that. She’s just hurt. You’ve both been through a lot.” He gives me a half-smile. “So, what’s the plan then?”

I run my tongue along my teeth, thinking. “I thought about sending her something.” My brows pull together. “Something small but meaningful. Maybe bagels?”

“Bagels?”

A short laugh puffs out of me. “Yeah. I know it sounds lame, but… it’s kind of an inside joke.” I toy with my ring again, the memory of our wedding day slipping in—her sliding it onto my finger. She laced our hands together and brought them to her lips, smiling like I was the only thing in the world that mattered. “I don’t know. Maybe it’ll just piss her off.”

I let out a sigh. “I don’t want to make things harder for her. But if she thinks I’m just gonna walk away and not fight for her—then she’s out of her mind.” I lean back, head falling against the cushion, gaze fixed on the ceiling. My hands fold behind my head. “Nope. I’m not signing those papers until I see her. Until she tells me to my face she doesn’t love me anymore. That this is really what she wants.”

“Damn. Well, if you need anything, let me know. You know I’ve got connections in Chicago.”

“She’s at Leo’s?” I ask.

He nods.

“I need you to get his address.”

“No problem,” Matt replies. “So what’s Keith say about all this? Bet he thinks you’re crazy.”

Keith’s one of the best family attorneys in the city. He’s Dad’s friend from law school and doesn’t take on small cases anymore, but he agreed to help me. He’s a shark. The kind of guy who can spot bullshit from a mile away and tear it apart in ten seconds flat. I’m obviously not using him like that. I just want him to drag this out and buy me time. Time to see Alley. To make things right. To show her I’ve changed. To remind her of what we had and that it’s still there.

“He said if we counter by offering her more than she asked for, her lawyer’s obligated to respond. It forces a back-and-forth. Cleanest way to push for mediation and get us in a room together without making it ugly. She’ll have to sit across from me. Listen. Talk. Even if it’s just for an hour.” A grin tugs at my lips. “We’re countering with seventy-five percent of everything.”

Matt lets out a low whistle. “Damn. You’re gambling with high stakes. What if she agrees?”

“I’m more than happy to give her everything. She deserves it. But she won’t. She never would. It’s just not who she is. She wouldn’t agree to it even if she hated me.”

Matt watches me for a second. “That’s what’s different about you now.”

I turn toward him, and see his expression shifting into something more serious.