Page 116 of A Love That Saved Us

So I keep cleaning.

I was proud of him tonight. For being so vulnerable with Scarlett. The way he stood up for himself. Owned his shit. Tried to fix it with her, for me. In front of everyone.

It felt like every answer I’d been searching for came crashing into me at once.Here they are. Here he is. The old Jensen. The man you fell in love with.

He’s still here.

He’s. Right. Here.

All I had to do was reach out and tell him that I wanted him too. Tell him I’d go home with him. So I did. At the time, it feltlike the obvious choice. How can we work on our relationship when we only see each other a few days a week? It seemed like the right thing to do. A simple decision.

Except… it’s not. Nothing about this is simple.

My fingers tremble as I pull open the drawer to the trash, tossing in another handful of garbage. I grab a rag and start wiping down the counters. I’m a clean freak on a normal day, but when I’m stressed? I go into overdrive.

Once I started cleaning, Jensen went out on the balcony with Matt.

The patio door slides open again. This time, it’s Jensen’s voice that pulls my attention. “Hey, babe. You ready to go?”

We step off the elevator,my grip tightening around Jensen’s hand. My heart beats faster with every step down the hallway.This isn’t a big deal,I tell myself.It’s fine. You’re fine.

Nerves crawl up my spine as Jensen punches in the code. Zero. Four. One. Three.

“Babe?”

I look up.

“You okay?”

No.I nod anyway. “Yeah. Of course.” I smile but it’s forced and stiff.

He pushes the door and we both step inside, and I feel… okay.

I’m okay.

My gaze sweeps across the kitchen and the living room, and I let out a sigh of relief. Warmth rushes through me, spreading into every limb, bringing the kind of comfort I can only callhome.Not Vivian and Leo’s place. Not Matt’s.Ours.

I set my purse on the stool and take a slow, steady breath. A smile curves my lips as Jensen heads for the fridge, grabbing two waters.

I make my way into the living room, letting the feeling of being here soak in. My fingers trail along the back of the couch, my gaze catching on Phyllis, my elephant ear plant, in the corner by the window.

She’sthriving.

The backs of my eyes sting as a sudden wave of emotion slams into me. I press my lips together and sniff.He took care of Phyllis.

I’d pictured her hanging on by a leaf or two, half-dead—not like this. She’s taller, fuller, stronger than ever.

I can feel Jensen watching me, patient and quiet, letting me take it all in.

“You took care of Phyllis,” I say, turning toward him.

His head dips in a small nod. “Told you I did.”

I brush a finger under my eye, overwhelmed by how much this stupid, simple thing matters.

“How you feeling?” he asks, crossing the room, waters in hand. “You wanna watch a movie? Go to bed? Talk?”

He knows.He knows me so well that he understands exactly where I am right now, even if he doesn’t fully get it. Even if he’s unaware of the full weight of his choices and their consequences, their effect on me. Even if he doesn’t remember. He’s still aware.