Page 10 of A Love That Saved Us

He chuckles, wiping at his eyes. “Thanks, Judy.” He gives her one last squeeze, then turns to me, grabs his luggage, and we walk out the door together.

Chapter Three

ALLEY

“I saywe get one more round.” Cooper tips back her martini, draining the rest in one smooth gulp.

“I really shouldn’t. Benson’s been keeping me up all night lately. I swear he’s already teething.” Vivian groans, slumping against the back of the booth.

“Why? You have to pump and dump anyway. Might as well make the most of your night out,” Cooper says.

“Valid point.” Vivian winces, pressing a hand to one of her boobs. “God, speaking of pumping… I don’t know how much longer I can go before I start leaking all over the place.”

“They’re so big, Viv. Seriously… I can’t stop staring at them. They look amazing. Every guy who’s walked by has totally side-eyed your chest.” Cooper turns to me. “Right, Al?”

“I’m sorry, what? I didn’t hear you. I was too distracted by Viv’s giant tits.”

Cooper snorts, and we both dissolve into laughter. She holds up her hand, and I smack it in a sloppy high-five.

The three of us went out for appetizers and drinks at this boujee martini lounge. That’s actually what it’s called. The Martini Lounge. It’s classy, with perfect mood lighting,big round booths that are ridiculously comfortable, and music that’s loud enough to give the place energy, but not so loud you can’t hear yourself think. There’s billiards, darts, and a few other games scattered around the room. It’s been fun—as fun as anything can be right now.

I turn to Cooper. “I’ll have another,” I say, because that’s what I do now. I drink to have fun. To laugh. To forget. To numb.

Yeah, I’m well aware that’s exactly the kind of thing I walked away from. And I feel guilty as hell about it. But I’m not an alcoholic. I’m not getting drunk and passing out. I’m just… definitely over my two-drink maximum, and it’s not the first, or third, or even tenth time in the last four months. But it works. I laugh. I forget. I fake it.

Then I go home and cry.

I never used to get it—why people drank like this. But now I do. There’s too much shit crowding the brain. It’s hard to relax. Hard to stop thinking. Hard to let go. Well, that, and it’s fun.

“Yes!” Cooper throws her arm in the air and flags down the cocktail waitress.

“Fine. Get me one too. I’ll need it if Leo has any chance of getting laid tonight.” Vivian sighs. “It’s weird, after Isla was born, I was so horny. But since Benson… I don’t know. I’m just so fucking tired, you guys.”

“That’s normal, Viv,” I say, thinking back to all the conversations I’ve had with Megan and Amber. “Both my sisters-in-law—er, ex-sisters-in-law, said the same thing after baby number two. You’re just exhausted.”

“I know. But it still sucks.”

“You’re not exactly selling the whole kid thing,” Cooper says. “The day I’m too tired to fuck Ryan—” She lets out a dramatic exhale. “—is the day I’ve died.”

Cooper reminds me so much of Megan—crass, vulgar, horny. Honestly, they’d probably be best friends.

“Don’t you dare not have kids,” Vivian says. “They’re great. They just sort of suck the life out of you and your libido… And your tits.”

“Well, I could use a little life sucked out of these.” Cooper laughs, pushing her boobs together. “I’ve always wished they were one size smaller.”

I whip my head toward her. “It’s a crime to wish for smaller boobs.”

“Whatever. Your little B’s are so perfect and perky. I’m jealous you never need a bra.”

“I’d trade you in a heartbeat,” I say. “Not that it matters. I’ve learned to love what I have. And Jensen always loved them.”

God. Why do I do that?I hate bringing him up when I’m having a good time.

“And hey,” I say to Vivian, shifting gears. “I bet you’ve had sex at least once in the last four months. That’s more than I have.” I laugh and take a sip of my drink while they both look at me with sad eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s fine.I’m fine.”

I’m not, though. Not even close.

These girls are the only reason I’ve had even a few real laughs lately. They’ve basically saved me, made this bearable. I barely knew Vivian when I left Jensen. I was only supposed to crash with her and Leo for a few weeks while I looked for my own place. But they’ve been adamant about me staying.