Page 60 of A Fate of Blood and Magic (Fated #2)

“I, uh,” Javier said, and I turned to watch him stiffen his back and shoulders.

“I’ve never killed anyone before, and if I’m ever in a fight where I have to, I don’t know that I’d be able to, but I hope I am.

Or, you know, maybe George is right, and I’m fooling myself into thinking I can be a warrior.

” He drew his head down and shifted his weight, but when Delaney brushed a finger across the back of his hand, he looked up with determination in his eyes.

“You didn’t ask why I voted not to kill them, and maybe my opinion doesn’t matter.

” He paused when Delaney whispered something to him, and I found myself holding my breath.

“I think there’s a difference between killing someone when you’re in the heat of a fight and killing someone when they’re locked up.

I think there has to be a difference between the two.

Rather than killing them in battle, George ordered for them to be imprisoned.

I don’t know why they let them live—if it was to torture them or have them be an example of what you’ll do to those who harm your people.

If that’s why, then I’m already wrong in the way I think, but killing them now, when they’re defenseless, is brutal.

Just as brutal— horrific— as what they did to our defenseless, but it feels wrong.

” He shrugged. “You’d be killing unarmed men and women.

I get that they killed innocent people, a lot of them children, but it seems wrong to have spared their lives only to kill them later.

If you want to make an example of them, you can punish them another way.

Maybe they can serve out their sentence in isolation or through hard labor.

I don’t know, but I think it’ll show people you’ll uphold justice and that killing isn’t the only solution.

And maybe I’m wrong, but if you’re killing people because you hate them or hate what they did, are you even fighting for the people you say you love? ”

My chest tightened as tears welled in my eyes. This young male, who’d been through some difficult situations, kept surprising me with his sense of responsibility, kindness, and now, his wisdom.

“I don’t think you’re wrong,” Teddy said.

Delaney smiled at him, and when she brushed her hand across his knuckles, he grabbed it, which only made her smile widen.

“I want to change my vote,” Delaney said. “Just because killing has always been the way we’ve punished people doesn’t mean it has to remain that way.”

“Our past shouldn’t dictate our future when so much has changed,” Kieren added through his mind-speak connection with everyone.

“We have humans living in our realm now. We’re allied with shifters, mages, and lirio.

Would it be so terrible to adapt and try something different? I want to change my vote too.”

I wasn’t surprised when Aidas raised his hand. “I want to change mine, too.”

Despite the many times I’d vomited, my stomach twisted in agony. It was my own fault—for not only biting George but also for not spitting out his blood. At least the nausea had lessened.

Teddy had remained quiet after everyone left, although she’d made me an herbal tea that did nothing to settle my stomach. The cool rag she had me put on my forehead helped a little.

I wasn’t sure if her silence was because of how I’d acted with George, but with my thoughts on Javier and his father, I’d needed the fight, even if it’d ended far too quickly. Or maybe Javier’s words about his father had hurt her too.

So much was already rolling in my head. As much as I was angry with George, I understood everything he’d said and felt. I had been selfish in every single way when it came to Teddy, but the thing was, aside from Javier’s father, I didn’t regret any of it.

Given the chance, I’d do it all over again. I’d damn her world, bring turmoil into mine, and shorten my life if only to get a taste of her.

I loved having the kids in my life. Pride had swelled at the way Javier had stood his ground and spoken what he believed to be correct.

And a lot of what he said was true. If hate was the driving force behind what we fought for, we weren’t any better than those who’d attacked us.

We were just on the opposing side, with our own perspective skewing how we thought and reacted, all in the name of justice.

Teddy leaned down to where I still sat by the toilet. Her hair covered my bare arm, and when she kissed my shoulder, I nestled the side of my face closer to her.

“I’m going to make you another tea.”

A satisfied rumble of pleasure came from me when she threaded her fingers through my hair. I tracked her as she left, and when I could no longer see her, I leaned back to watch her until she walked through our bedroom door.

I heard the surprised gasp that came from Teddy. When her voice filtered from the other room, I rose slowly.

“Was Elias there the day my dad died?” Javier asked.

Before Teddy could answer, I stepped into our living room and found Javier sitting on the couch with his arms folded across his chest.

“Yes,” I answered, my throat bobbing as I gripped the doorframe hard.

Javier’s attention slammed into me, and I had to fight my body not to retreat.

This was it, the moment I’d been dreading while also hoping it would one day come. Part of me was proud of him and how well he handled the truth. How he could pivot when faced with adversity. I just didn’t know what this would do to him. To us.

But it was a truth he should’ve known about before he’d chosen to trust me.

He glared at me, and I wasn’t sure if it was hatred or pain that I saw in his eyes. I managed another swallow around the thickness in my throat .

“Do you want me to tell you what happened?” Even to my own ears, my voice sounded distant and foreign.

Javier stood, shoving his hand over the short crop of his hair. His nod was jerky, but his eyes were clear. He stood in front of me, more than a foot shorter than me, but I was the one who trembled in fear.

“Yes, I want to know everything.”

It was my turn to run my fingers through my hair while Teddy shifted on her feet.

I cleared my throat.

“Your dad came into the food bank to get something for Jasmine’s fever,” Teddy said, her voice steady.

“I should’ve just let him get the medicine and some canned soup, but when I offered more food, he seemed grateful.

So I took him down the aisles and piled food into his shopping cart.

When I got to the back of the store to get him a baked ham for Easter, the door to one of our fridges was stuck.

I tried to pry it open the way I’d been doing all day, but the whole fridge came down on me instead.

” She wiped the tears that flowed down her face.

“He tried to push me out of the way, but it was too late. I’m not sure what kind of injuries I had, but I was in so much pain and bleeding.

Together, we tried to lift it, but every effort made the pain worse.

He tried, though, Javi, and he only left me to get a jack from his car.

Elias arrived when he was trying to lift it with the jack.

It was painful, so damn painful, and I begged him to stop.

I-I told him he was killing me. Elias heard me and?—”

“For several weeks before the fridge fell on Teddy, I’d been having these visions of her,” I said, my voice a complete contrast to Teddy’s steadiness. “I knew she was in the human realm and knew I wouldn’t be able to see her in person without dooming your realm. I was prepared to?— ”

“Can you get to the part where you killed my dad?” His tone was low but coiled in fury.

I swallowed again, moving my hand to the base of my neck.

“When I tore through the veil, I found Teddy on the floor, screaming in agony. Even before I got there, I knew whatever had happened was killing her. I saw your father and thought he was the one killing her. I didn’t know he was trying to help her. ”

“Elias walked in when I was begging your dad to stop,” Teddy said, her voice shaking. “I was begging him to stop and telling him he was killing me.”

“This isn’t on Teddy,” I said, stringing my words together quickly.

“I’m the one who killed him without assessing the situation.

It doesn’t matter what I thought. I killed an innocent man who was only trying to provide for his family.

He was trying to help Teddy. I’m sorry, Javier. I can’t tell you how?—”

“Don’t apologize.” I scented the tears he held back while the veins on his neck pulsed. “I don’t want your apology. I trusted you, both of you. You made me trust you when you’re the ones who killed him. George said you gave the order, but he’s the one who killed him. Was he talking about my dad?”

“Yes.”

“Jaz and Juanita call the man who killed our dad their uncle,” he whispered, lowering his head on a heavy shake.

“I’m the one who ordered his death,” I said. “This is solely on me.”

“I don’t want him near my sisters.” Hate and anger filled his tone.

“Honey, the girls love him,” Teddy said. “It’ll hurt them if he stops playing with them.”

“What’ll it do to them when they find out the truth?”

A knot twisted my gut, making the pain from earlier seem like a joke. “Are you going to tell them?”

“No.” The single word came out low and defeated. “But I don’t want him around them.”

“This isn’t his fault, Javier,” I said, unsure how to explain. “He was following my orders. That’s what a warrior does. This is my fault. Only mine. Teddy didn’t do anything wrong either.”

“You didn’t tell me the truth.” He turned to her, eyes wide and voice quaking.

When she stepped toward him, he took a retreating step back and lifted his hands.

“You let us live with you. You took care of us while knowing . . . You said you didn’t remember that night for a long time. Why didn’t you remember it?”

“Elias erased my memory of that night,” Teddy admitted.