Page 60
"Great. I'm being threatened by the spelling-challenged," I mumbled.
Mr. Ellison gritted his teeth. "I can't believe you're making jokes at a time like this. Okay, it's up to me, I guess. I better get paid extra for this. Make some noise and keep its attention, will ya?"
I sucked in a deep breath and started yelling, on purpose this time. "Hey, alligator! Look here! Yummy lawyer to eat. That sounds like a joke, doesn't it? Hey alligator! I see why people turn you into purses, now, you big stupid monster."
It crouched there on the floor, glaring at me with its beady eyes. Maybe it didn't like to be insulted. That purse crack had been kind of mean.
I snuck a glance at Mr. Ellison, who had made it down to the floor. He grabbed the phone and climbed back up. The alligator must have heard a noise, because it whipped its head around and started scuttling after fresh prey. I yelled and waved my arms, but it ignored me, so I took another deep breath and did the stupidest thing I'd ever done in my life.
I jumped back off the filing cabinet.
"Here I am! Come get me! Leave the bony old man alone. He'd be tough to eat, anyway. Come get me, fish breath." I ran to the other side of the room, banging the metal filing cabinets on the way, watching the alligator as it swung its enormous head back and forth between Mr. Ellison and me. Mr. Ellison used the few moments to heave himself back on top of the reception desk, yelling at me the whole time.
"Stupid female! I thought you were okay for a lawyer, but here you go and do the damndest fool thing I've ever seen. Get back on the filing cabinet before I lose you, too," he barked.
I never took my eyes off the alligator. It advanced on me slowly, coming around the back of Max's desk. I waited until it was fully behind the desk, and then I shot around the corner and back around the front of the desk and down the hall to my office. I slammed the door and slid to the ground in front of it, flinching when a few hundred pounds of angry reptile slammed into the door.
Add whiplash to the list of Official December Vaughn Injuries.
Then I started laughing and laughing and laughing.
It was that or cry.
By the time I'd caught my breath, the sound of sirens was louder than the sound of my heartbeat. I heard men's voices shouting in the front room. The cavalry had arrived – or at least Florida Animal Control officers.
I put my head down on the carpet and peered out through the space between the door and the carpet, half expecting to see an alligator eye peering back at me. Instead, I saw a large bulky shape moving down the hall. Knees weak, I stood up and opened my door a crack. The animal control people already had some kind of lasso things around the alligator's neck and seemed to have it under control.
Not that I was going to get close to it and test that hypothesis.
Mr. Ellison shouted down the hallway. "Girlie! I mean, Ms. Vaughn! Are you all right?"
That he'd thought to call me Ms. Vaughn in front of the animal control people, at a time like that, won me over for all time. Mr. Ellison had a job with me for as long as I could meet payroll.
At this rate, that would be at least another week and a half.
"I'm here, Mr. Ellison. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he shouted. Then, to my utter surprise, he started sobbing. Harsh, choking sobs. I didn't know what to do, so I pretended I didn't notice, figuring I'd give him some privacy.
One of the animal handlers, a short guy who looked like a fireplug with arms, yelled down the hall to me. "Miss Vaughn? Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. What about . . . that? Can you get it out of here?" I said, not stepping a foot closer, although the handlers had the beast almost completely out of the hallway by then.
The man pulled his ball cap off and shoved his hand through curly brown hair. "Yeah, we can get it out. What I'd like to know is how the hell it got in here."
Within another ten minutes, the handlers had dragged the thrashing alligator out of the front door, leaving behind chunks of torn-up carpet and a smelly substance that I hated to think about. I ran to Mr. Ellison. "Are you all right? Do you feel okay? Did it bite you? Are you having a heart attack or something?"
He pushed me away, emotion under control by then. Blinking rapidly, as if to keep more tears at bay, he drew himself up to his full height and looked up at me. "I gotta say that was the stupidest and the bravest thing anybody's ever done for me, December. Don't think I'll ever forget it," he said hoarsely.
My lip quivered, and I bit it before I started crying myself. "You would have done the same for me. In fact, jumping down to grab the phone was the bravest thing I've ever seen, so I'd say we're even."
To my utter shock, my words seemed to drive him back over the edge. His shoulders quivered, and he pulled in a shuddering breath. "No. No, we're not. Because I got Daisy killed."
He scrubbed at his eyes. "That damn alligator done ate her."
Table of Contents
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- Page 60 (Reading here)
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