Page 29 of A Daddy for Christmas 3: Matty
“Growing up, we always had hot cocoa on Christmas Eve.” Gonzo squirmed a bit in his chair, but I didn’t have a clue why. “This is better.” He held up his glass. “Think I’d rather start our own traditions. My folks were assholes.” Ah-ha. Probably that.
Finn patted his arm. Of all of us, I thought Finn would understand asshole parents since his mom was the worst. “Sorry, man. Pour me.” He held his glass up, and Gonzo poured. “When I was a kid, I loved Christmas. In good years, we opened a present on Christmas Eve, but it was usually pajamas.”
“Or socks and underwear,” Gonzo added with a snorted laugh.
“How about you, Matty?” I wanted him to feel free to jump into the conversation.
“I don’t like to think about the past. But. I guess the best thing was that Mom and her sister, Aunt Sophie, always took me to see the Nutcracker. Every year.”
“Did you ever dance it?” Tank asked. I hadn’t thought the guys would care much about Matty’s dancing, but they did know he was classically trained in ballet.
Matty shook his head. “No. Uh, I tried out one year but didn’t get it. They pulled most of the dancers from their own company, and I wasn’t a part of that. I was dancing in another competitor group. Rivalries.” He waved his hand. “Divas.” It was too dark to see his eyeroll, but I imagined it clearly. Those green and brown eyes were as sassy as the rest of him.
“Maybe I’ll take you to see it next year.” I didn’t know for sure where we would be or even if he’d want to go.
“Thanks, Daddy.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
Of course, Finn started with theawwand the guys followed with more teasing. Matty flipped them the bird, then had Gonzo pour him a little more Brandy. “You feeling good there, Matty?” he asked as he filled Matty’s glass.
“Yep. Nice and warm.” That might have been the brandy talking, but it wasn’t cold out. Hell, it was even warmer than what we would have if we were still in Vegas.
The guys continued talking about traditions and family, but I thought about one tradition in particular that I’d always loved as a kid, and one I was going to pull for Matty this year for sure. I already had it set up.
My dad had been mostly great. Hell, still was. We didn’t talk a lot or get together much, because he was getting older and didn’t really travel. I’d been focused on my music, never making a lot of money. To be honest, I’d gotten into a funk the last few years. I was on a bad downward cycle. Drinking, partying. Playing for drinks in dive bars. Sure, it was fun, but it wasn’t getting us anywhere. I wanted to be better than that. For myself, but alsofor Matty. He deserved better than me. A loser who couldn’t commit to him. And why? Because I had nothing to offer him. My grumpy ass had been a shithead. And it was extremely difficult to think about myself in any other way.
But now…with MH Management behind us and the guys getting as serious as me, I did have something. I was becoming a better person, and I wanted to share it with Matty. And maybe prove to my dad that I could be a good man. I was going to do everything I could to be worthy of Matty’s love.
Finn lifted his glass and stood. “I’m going to do a toast. To us. And I hope that we will do this every year going forward. No matter what, on Christmas Eve we get together and spend time like this as brothers.”
All of us, even Matty, stood and clinked glasses. It was nice. We went back upstairs after that, having finished our cigars. The brandy was traded for beer, and I think a few shots were going around. Matty had one of those sparkling water drinks he liked instead of alcohol. Gonzo and Tank were getting loud around the pinball machine. It was cheery and festive, if not the traditional things to do on Christmas Eve. It worked for us.
Then Matty turned the music off. “Hey, guys. I’d like to hear some of your new music. I haven’t—”
“Fuck yeah! Oh, sorry.” Finn dashed across the room and grabbed his guitar. “Let’s do it.”
Tank grabbed his bass and plugged it in.
Gonzo crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not dragging drums up here.”
“That’s okay. We’ve got this. Just count us in.” Finn plugged the guitar in. “What are we playing?”
I wondered only briefly if this would wake the neighbors, though the other houses weren’t that close to ours. “How about Jaded? It’s brand new.” I didn’t have a mic, but I was generally loud enough to hold my own. “Cat turned us onto this one,Matty. It’s from a band they want to sign up in OhiocalledLythium Madness.”
“I got this.” Gonzo tapped out a beat on the back of the couch and kept going. Finn picked up the melody, and Tank pounded out the bass line, though they had turned the amps down lower than we normally did, evening out the overall volume. So, I belted out the words.
Jaded as the snow
My heart bleeds
Against the white
My black heart
Not willing to let go
Jaded…
Jaded as the snow