Page 63 of A Crown of Tears and Treason (The Curse of Silver Secrets and Cruel Shadows #1)

Chapter

Sixty-Three

EVIE

T he walk back to my house was a funeral procession.

In the distance, the drums still beat into the night, revelers shouting in tune with the joyous rhythm.

Tonight, even the famed Blood Brotherhood control had loosened.

No guards and no warriors accompanied me now.

I led our small little group, followed by Adara, Goose, and Leesa. The usual suspects.

And Zandyr.

I’d avoided him all throughout the ceremony, the congratulations, and the party. Kaya and her beauty had grabbed most of the attention, anyway.

I didn’t know why he followed like a ghost in the night, and I didn’t care.

I strode into my house in ugly silence. Only the wood creaked as I walked up the stairs. This house suddenly felt like a mausoleum.

Zandyr followed me into the bedroom.

I tried hard to ignore the petals strewn all over my bed and only stopped once I reached the farthest wall.

Nowhere else to run to. Nowhere to hide from this heinous reality.

He remained silent behind me.

“Was it part of the oath?” I asked, still not turning. My voice was as dead as I felt. Cold. Ice incarnate. I didn’t recognize it.

I didn’t recognize myself, this glacier of a woman who stared at nothing and felt even less.

“Yes,” Zandyr hissed, the word coming out choppy and rushed. The oath must’ve been leashing his tongue again. Perhaps if I probed more, he would bleed onto my floor. He deserved it.

Liar , that primal part of me roared, as if I was to blame for this mess.

Zandyr took a shaky breath; I felt his pain through the bond, every ripple of the muscles on his chest, constricting around his heart to stop it. Stop him from revealing too much. “It was before–”

“Shut up.”

He did.

I rolled my head from side to side, feeling every tense little muscle begging to be free of this dress. Of this mess. Of this world.

It hurt too much. Too bloody much.

Whatever truths he was ready to sacrifice himself for now, I didn’t need them. They didn’t change the fact that I was now tied to him–and Kaya.

For eternity.

For the rest of my miserable life, I had to watch her parade around Phoenix Peak with that crown on top of her pretty little head, smiling her pretty little smiles, after she and Zandyr had made a fool out of me.

A naive fool who had been blinded by his attention. His affection. His secrets and his clever tongue.

No more.

I wanted to crawl out of my skin. Let this carcass of a body rot here, just like my imposter’s, and have my soul break free from Clans and their machinations.

I sucked in breath after breath that did nothing to calm me down. I was on the brink of panic. Of falling into desperation and never crawling out.

I placed a hand on my chest, fingers digging underneath the rubies around my neck that suddenly felt like a noose.

I couldn’t fall now. Nobody would catch me.

My cousins were scattered. I didn’t even know where they were. The people in Phoenix Peak had stood by and applauded at that farce of a ceremony.

Nobody– nobody –had warned me.

And the man behind me…I let out a mirthless laugh. He was the worst of them.

Damn the gods, old and new, for knotting my fate with his. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, my whole body was so despicably attuned to his. I felt his own hollow heart, the deep chasm opening in him as well.

What right did he have to suffer alongside me?

I squeezed my eyes shut. It was unfair that my body and mind would betray me like this. I wanted to curse Zandyr’s name and fall into his arms at the same time.

I wanted to plead for logic in the chaos, to find excuses and reasons that shouldn’t matter. Couldn’t matter.

I was trapped. Caged by my own traitorous emotions.

Powerless. I was powerless, just like back in the mountains.

You are not powerless . Never were , his voice slithered my way.

“I told you to shut up,” I said. Me, this mountain bumpkin who’d stumbled her way into the arms of the enemy, to the most powerful Clan heir in all of Malhaven.

The gods had indeed blessed me with too much stubbornness.

Seconds passed, the heat of him behind me threatening to make my knees shake again. Blasted ritual. His blood still coated my tongue, beckoning me to him.

“I didn’t say anything,” he said slowly, softly…

And my world crashed around me all over again.

I whirled around, fearful for the first time today, hand to my throat, as if I could suffocate the bond myself if I tried hard enough.

No , a horrific thought entered my mind.

Yes , he said back, straight into my very being, without moving his lips.

The connection between us pulled hard and fast, the cord glowing. His thoughts to mine. His essence in me.

Fated mates. By blood, by divine blessing, and by the wicked humor of the fates.

My knees finally gave out. I steadied myself against the wall behind me.

Zandyr made an instinctual step toward me.

“Don’t!” I yelled, hand raised before me, the only barrier between us. I would push if I had to. I would do so much more if he dared come closer.

He stilled, instantly. Pain twisted his beautiful features, torturing him from the inside out.

Good. Let him suffer as I do.

I didn’t want you to suffer.

Each word beat against me, making my blood sing. This was supposed to be a happy moment.

Fated mates. Perfectly designed for each other. Neither could betray the other.

But he had. Today, he had crushed the trust I’d foolishly placed in him.

I didn’t betray you.

Liar. Traitor. Thief.

He recoiled as if I’d slapped him. My anger was a living, pulsing being, radiating off me.

Good. It hid the devastation lurking underneath, threatening to consume me.

Please , he whispered in my mind and I fought so hard to ignore what I heard in that formless voice–desperation. He could have just as well kneeled, begging for my forgiveness. Tell me how to fix this. Tell me what you want me to do.

“Get out.” My fingers dug painfully into my scalp, as if I could somehow claw into my head and dig him out. I bent at the waist from the strain of trying to shove him away from my mind. Sever this wretched bond that only seemed to glow brighter the harder I tried to cut it.

“I will do my absolute best to dampen my thoughts from you.” He raised his open palms, as if dealing with an unruly, scared animal. He was wrong. A beast lurked beneath my skin, just like the tattooed one on his back, and it wanted to be free of the confines that had shackled it.

The stitches on my power were coming loose, burning and wanting to scorch. Something. Someone. Him . To do something to stop this pain from swallowing me whole.

“Get. Out,” I hissed. “Out of my mind, out of my house, out of my life. You aren’t welcome in any of them from now on.”

Even as I spoke the words, a part of me fractured more. The part that was wailing in distress, like it had been mortally wounded, begging me to rush into Zandyr’s arms and let him explain anything and everything.

Zandyr’s shoulders slumped. I’d never seen him look utterly defeated.

“Evie,” he whispered.

That word. That one word undid me.

My power blasted out of me, tendrils shooting down my arms.

“Get the fuck out,” I said in a deadly whisper that suited me just fine. “Before I burn this house down with both of us in it, for all of Malhaven to see. Adriana Vegheara poisoned her husband for a lesser offense. Do not think my threat is empty, Dragon. Remember, I don’t fear death.”

Not mine, at least.

Death would stop this chasm of sorrow. The pain, the absolute horror my heart had to endure could vanish. One flick of my wrist and it would all stop.

Zandyr must’ve seen the truth. Heard it, sensed it, I didn’t give a shit. Because his eyes widened with fear. Not for him and his miserable life, but for mine. That I might actually do something to hurt myself if he didn’t listen.

“As you command.” With a swift bow, he backed away toward the door, eyes not leaving me for a breath, as if he was afraid I might truly vanish from him if he dared blink.

At the threshold, he stopped. The muscles in his jaw and neck twitched.

“I am sorry. I hope one day, I will be able to prove to you just how much. And to tell you everything,” was all he said before he disappeared.

As I sucked in air, the blue tendrils vanished.

I swayed on the spot, my stomach threatening to spill onto my dress. This mockery of a dress that suffocated me.

“Leesa!” I roared.

I yanked the russet crown off my head, ripping hair and pins along with it, and threw it to the floor with all my might.

It only clanked and bounced underneath the bed, as if taunting me with its resilience.

Leesa rushed through the door, eyes red and brimming with tears. “Yes, Your Grace? What can I do? How can I help?”

“Help me get this dress off,” I whispered hoarsely, as if I’d been shouting all day. Inside, I had been.

“Your Grace, I can’t,” Leesa whimpered. “Tradition says that only the prince–”

“I don’t care.” Fucking traditions and fucking rules. I was drowning in this fabric, it burned my skin. “I want it off.”

“Please.” Leesa kneeled, fresh tears flowing down her beautiful cheeks. “Let me get the prince, he’ll be happy to–”

“Very well then.” I flicked the switchblade open. My one true companion.

Under Leesa’s terrified eyes, with her cries echoing all around me, I tore and sliced at my dress, not caring when the blade nicked my skin. I couldn’t let myself feel or I’d drown.

Once the dress was a mess of jagged ribbons at my feet and Leesa gathered the waste in her arms and left, sniffling all the way down the stairs, once the door was closed shut, and nobody and nothing could witness, I finally let my body fall to the ground.

Only then did I let myself cry.

I cried until my throat bled and my back hurt from the sobs.

Until I couldn’t see anymore and my eyes throbbed. Finally, mercifully, exhausted beyond coherent thought, I couldn’t feel.

But I knew, even as I crawled into bed, yanking off the flowers in a rain of petals that mocked me and my hopes, that my blood sang a harsher, deeper tune than the melody it had for Zandyr.

My blood sang for revenge.