Page 10 of A Bride for the Cruel Duke (Claimed by Regency Devils #1)

Chapter Ten

“C aroline!” her mother snapped. “Will you at least try and pretend to look as if the world is not falling down around your ears.”

“Huh...” Caroline looked up, surprised to find her mother glaring at her.

“Honestly, girl...” Her mother rolled her eyes and sighed. “I had hoped that you—of all my children—would be the one to cause me the least amount of angst on today of all days. What has got into you?”

“I...” A flash of anger roared itself to life inside of Caroline. The desire for her to unleash it fully and tell her mother in no uncertain terms that she knew very well why Caroline was acting this way. That this was her doing. That she could at least pretend to care! Of course, as this was Caroline, she did no such thing. “I am sorry, mother. I will try to do better.”

Her mother sighed. “Would you? A smile might be nice. Not everything is about you, dear.”

It was ironic that it had taken this sudden marriage arraignment for her mother to start paying Caroline attention. Times were that Caroline could have burst into tears and her mother still might not have noticed. Now, the slightest sense that Caroline was not behaving as she expected, and her mother was on her like a mother attacking a flame.

It had been that way these past two days; for the entirety of the weekend. Caroline was unable to get so much as a moment of peace because from sunrise to sundown her mother was at her, nipping at her heels and doing everything she could to ensure that Caroline behaved herself so that there was no chance she might ruin her betrothal and thus her name and her family’s.

That was why she had been dragged by her mother into Violet’s room on the final night of the weekend, there to be kept an eye on as Violet readied for supper.

“Mother...” Violet was standing back from there, before the mirror which she had been using to assess her dress. Now, she eyed Caroline with a sense of concern that was alien to her often distant sister, clear worry seen in her eyes. “May you give me and Caroline a moment?”

“What? Whatever for?”

“Because I asked it of you,” Violet said. “Do not fret, I will call you back in when we are done.”

“Violet, there is no time for?—”

“Now, thank you,” Violet spoke over her. Not rudely, but with command borne from her soon-to-be found station. That of a duchess.

Her mother did not look pleased, and she widened her eyes at Caroline in warning before hurrying from the room. She and Violet were not particularly close, as Violet had always been the favorite daughter, she who her mother had put much stake in for the future of their family. And Violet, ever aware of her role, had taken to it as only the favorite daughter could.

“I am sorry, Violet,” Caroline sighed and bowed her head. “I did not mean to cause a fuss. And I certainly did not mean to make this weekend all about me.”

“All about you?” Violet chuckled. “Caroline, I do not think that once in your life have you made anything all about you.”

Caroline laughed softly.

“Which leads me to believe that something must be wrong.” She crossed the room and most surprisingly, put an arm around Caroline’s waist. “Do you wish to talk about it? Something tells me I might be the only one who will understand.”

Caroline frowned and leaned back as she took in her older sister. The offer was most unexpected, as was the look of concern etched across her face. And indeed, her words were true, as she—above all others—was the only person in this world who might understand Caroline’s current woes.

A forced marriage. A husband she did not want. No way out, stained by expectation because this was simply how things had to be.

“I think you can guess well enough,” Caroline mumbled. “Although I know there is no use complaining about it. Which is why I have tried not to be a burden.”

“And still, somehow you have managed it.”

She winced. “I am sorry.”

“And I am just joking, Caroline.” She hugged her a little tighter, then let go and walked back to the mirror, looking herself over. She was beautiful, Caroline thought, in her sky-blue dress, silver jewelry, and elegant makeup that had her skin shining. “You do not wish to marry His Grace.” It was not a question.

“What I wish does not matter.”

“True enough,” Violet said. “May I ask why?”

Caroline frowned. “Does it need to be said?”

“Well, I assume it is because His Grace is one who does not inspire typical notions of romance.” A light chuckle. “Admittedly, I hardly know the man, but he does seem a tad...” She considered. “Cruel.”

“Hence the nickname.”

“I am sure it is just rumor.”

“Maybe,” Caroline shrugged. “But the name did not spring from nowhere. He does not like me, Violet. And I do not much like him.”

“Is that all?” Violet pressed. “I admit, and this is a little embarrassing to say, but I realize suddenly that I have no idea what you want.”

“What I want?” Caroline frowned at the comment, not understanding what her sister meant.

“From marriage,” she specified. “I do not think I have ever asked you. Nor have I ever asked how you feel about it.” She looked at Caroline questioningly. “It is marriage itself you spurn, or the man?

It was a good question and was without a doubt at the heart of Caroline’s trauma.

Caroline’s feelings about marriage were influenced heavily by her mother and father; that which she had grown up under and been forced to witness firsthand. To put it simply, it was not a happy union, her father treating her mother like little more than a means to an end—a tool he might use to sire children, giving her nothing in return but contempt and apathy.

For many years, Caroline had hated knowing that her mother was in a loveless marriage, wondering how she could put up with such a thing. Wasn’t the entire point of marriage to fall in love?

It was when she was only twelve that her mother dissuaded her of that notion. The incident with the scandalous story she was found reading, being the key instigator of her changed perceptions. When she was found reading it, she had argued with her mother, assuming that what she was reading was ‘natural’ and befitting of a wife and her husband. Her mother was quick to change this viewpoint.

Marriage was nothing but duty. A wife was not meant to love her husband. She was certainly not supposed to enjoy going to bed with him. She was there to have children, to raise their family, and to do as she was told to do. Nothing more.

This was why Caroline felt extreme guilt whenever she thought of the duke or was within his presence. That fact that she wanted him, even when she knew it was wrong. That she was so hopelessly attracted to him, even when hating him and fearing him at the same time. It made her feel like a failure, as if she was doing something wrong and unspeakable.

I do not want to feel this way about the duke. And that I do... surely, something must be wrong with me?

“It does not matter what I want,” she said, her head still bowed, her voice pained. “I do not want to marry His Grace. Is that not reason enough to be upset?”

Violet considered her for a moment; Caroline was not looking at her, so she could not guess at what she was thinking. Probably, she is annoyed at me, this self-pity routine is very unladylike.

“Let me tell you about my soon-to-be husband, shall I?” Violet said with a sigh. “You have met the man, so you know as well as anyone else that he is... how can I put this kindly…?” She considered further. “A downright toad.”

Caroline’s head snapped up and she gasped. “Violet!”

Violet shrugged. “He is. I am only marrying him because he has agreed to help cover some of our family’s debts, and he is only marrying me because he thinks he must do for the sake of his name and title.” She snorted. “There is no love there and we do not pretend otherwise.”

“Why are you...?” Caroline studied her sister, not understanding why she was being so upbeat and positive about what was undoubtedly a tragic happenstance. “Why are you telling me this?”

“When Roderick came to me and told me he wished for my hand, I was blunt with him.” She giggled. “I asked him what he wanted from this marriage and Roderick, ever the not-so-subtle type, told me exactly. A marriage of convenience, he called it. He does not want an heir. He does not want companionship.

He wants my name on a slip of paper and that is all.” She shrugged again. “And to be honest with you, I was thrilled when he told me so. It did away with expectation and allowed me to approach this marriage with a clear mind. I know what he is, what is to be expected, and now that I do, I am looking forward to it.”

“You... you are?”

“It might be nice if he cared for me,” she laughed. “But knowing what he wants has saved me the pain of learning through trial and error. In this life, Caroline, we rarely get what we want. The best we can do is be as prepared as is possible. Now...” She looked right at Caroline, her expression hardening. “What does His Grace want?”

“I...” Caroline considered the question.

Initially, her mind went where it had been going these past few days. Those times where she was not lamenting in self-pity and hating her circumstances, where she had allowed herself to get lost in those few seconds that should have made her feel self-disgust but brought lust instead.

The kiss they had shared. The passion that had erupted between them. How had he done that to her? And why did I enjoy it so much when I know that I should not?

It was dangerous to think, she knew. And it would be better if she did not feel this way at all. Certainly safer. As to what she might do about it... there was good reason she felt so confused and unsure.

“I do not know,” she said finally. “The man is stone, you know this. How am I to know what he desires?”

“Then find out,” Violet said. “Ask the man what he wants. Better, decide for yourself what you want and then make sure that he knows it. Do not go into this marriage having to guess. Make it clear and you will be all the happier.”

The advice was smart, if not fraught with danger. “And what if he doesn’t tell me? Or what if we don’t want the same thing?”

“As I said, we rarely get what we want in this life, Caroline. And seeing as he has already taken from you so much, the least you could do for yourself is stand your ground. Trust me when I say you will be better off.”

Caroline studied her sister closely, seeing her in a way she never had before. Caring. Kind. Concerned. They had never been close, but this marriage of hers had bonded them in a strange way and she realized that Violet was, above all things, an ally. This realization alone made her smile.

“Thank you, Violet.” She crossed the room and hugged her. “For everything.”

“What are big sisters for?” Violet said. “Now, go and fetch Mother before she has a fit,” she then giggled. “And, as to what we just spoke about...”

“I don’t even remember it,” Caroline said with a knowing wink as she turned to fetch their mother, flooded with a new sense of purpose now that had her smiling.