Page 29 of A Breath of Life (Shadowy Solutions #4)

Diem

B uren was late. If that fucker didn’t show up in the next ten minutes, I would hunt his ass down, and a drug addiction would be the least of his problems. I didn’t like being out in the open, where Ace and his psychotic cronies could have eyes on me.

On Tallus.

Slipping on Clarence’s name had been a huge mistake, and of course Tallus had noticed.

Now I was a fucking liar too. Great. He hadn’t spoken a word on the drive to the meeting spot, staring out the window, silent and contemplative.

Tallus read me like a book, but I wasn’t as skilled at reading him, so I had no clue what he was thinking.

I suspected I was back up shit creek without a paddle.

The bus rendezvous point was crowded, and too many inches separated us. I had to suppress the urge to grab Tallus’s hand, yank him against my body, and growl in his ear, demanding he stay close. How was I supposed to keep him safe if he insisted on wandering out of arm’s reach ?

Tallus paced along the curb, nonchalantly texting on his phone. Memphis, no doubt. They were like teenage girls with their secrets and gossip. Attached at the hip. He was probably telling Memphis I was a big asshole.

I didn’t want to be moody and overbearing, but Christ. I couldn’t pretend everything was peachy when it wasn’t.

I scanned the street again before glancing back at my too-hot-for-his-own-good boyfriend, who stood out in a crowd, drawing attention from men and women alike. Eight feet separated us. Eight feet too many.

I squinted through the windshields of parked cars, scoured nooks and corners, and studied the windows above the shops across the street. The hairs on the back of my neck sang a warning, but I couldn’t find the culprit.

I needed Tallus closer. Within reach. Against my body, so I could wrap him protectively in my arms.

Oh, how the tides had changed. At one time, being too close to him had caused my lungs to constrict.

Now, I was going out of my mind with him mere feet away.

Every muscle in my body was coiled and ready to pounce at the first sign of danger.

I would tear the throat out of anyone who dared lay a finger on him.

Echo nudged my leg, and I realized my heart was racing. I took a few steadying breaths but couldn’t calm down. Absently scratching her ear, I zeroed in on Tallus.

He must have felt the burn of my attention on the side of his face. He glanced up, studied me with narrowed eyes for a long moment, then smiled. It wasn’t his real smile. Before returning his focus to his phone, he flicked his gaze to the pouch around my wrist.

The goddamn thing was a lead weight, dragging me under.

Its presence was a constant reminder of my predicament—of the impending threat.

I flashed back to the pictures scattered on the floor, each of them taken without Tallus’s knowledge.

The thought of someone being that close to him turned my blood to lava.

My atoms vibrated, threatening to split in half and nuke the city.

And Nana. Oh god, Nana. Staying away from the home was akin to torture.

Unable to take the distance anymore, I stormed toward Tallus, stopping close enough that my shadow engulfed him.

The moment I blocked his sun, he lifted his head and arched a brow as though waiting for me to say something.

I silently glared, jaw ticking, muscles twitching.

“What’s up?” he asked, cool and relaxed.

“Nothing.”

No smile. No comment. No flirty joke. The sass I adored was gone, replaced by quiet introspection. It wasn’t like him. Tallus was verbose. Argumentative. He spoke his mind regardless of the consequences. I never had to guess what was going on in his head because he usually told me.

This subdued version rocked my foundation.

It’s your fucking fault. You did this. You ruined a good thing.

Was it the story I’d shared about my past or the obvious lie about how I’d discovered Clarence’s name that bothered him? Regardless, a chasm had opened between us, and I didn’t know how to fix it without breaking Ace’s fucking rules.

“Where’s your guy?” he finally asked when I didn’t speak.

“I don’t know.” I scanned the street. No Buren.

I spot-checked for Ace’s spy but couldn’t see him. He was out there. Watching. Waiting.

Tallus refocused on his phone and paced again, putting distance between us .

Gritting my teeth, I followed, riding his heels.

If he noticed or was annoyed, he said nothing.

Spilling my guts in the records room had only added stress to an already stressful situation.

It usually took days to get over the rawness of exposure when I opened my personal Pandora’s Box of Past Traumas.

Ordinarily, afterward, I required space to process.

Time alone. A lot of liquor and at least one cigarette.

Not this time. I couldn’t risk space, but it meant the icing on top of the shit cake was getting too thick to digest.

One day, my past would frighten Tallus off for good.

It was a matter of time. How much ugly could a person take before they decided it was too much?

It was why I spoon-fed him sips, hoping to make what we had last as long as possible.

Letting Tallus in meant surrendering the disguise I’d worn my entire adult life.

It was an act of trust.

Tallus stopped abruptly, and I nearly collided with him. He tucked his phone in a pocket and spun, meeting my gaze. Speculation and suspicion sat on the surface of his hazel eyes. After a beat and without warning, he moved into the fold of my arms and rested his head against my chest.

Unsure what I’d done to deserve a hug, I went with it. Relief threatened to buckle my knees. If he was hugging me, then he wasn’t as mad as I suspected. Faint hints of shampoo and hair gel drifted to my nose. Inhaling his calming essence, I squeezed my eyes closed and counted backward from ten.

I’m okay. This will all be okay.

Where the fuck was Buren? I wanted to get Tallus out of the open.

The bus stop where we typically met to conduct transactions was busy.

People occupied the benches both inside and outside the shelter.

Others lingered by the curb, staring blankly down the street like mindless drones going through their preprogrammed motions.

No one spoke. Everyone carried a day’s worth of lethargy.

For the hundredth time in ten minutes, I scanned, looking for Ace’s associate. I was a fucking sleuth, goddammit. I did this for a living. Why couldn’t I locate him?

Echo sat obediently at my feet. She exhibited no signs of distress.

Would she recognize a problem? Her training didn’t extend to uncovering potential threats.

Although she had been the one to alert us to Clarence’s distress, and before I’d been clubbed over the head in the parking garage, she’d tried to warn me of the imminent danger.

Her lazy dog smile and relaxed demeanor suggested all was well.

Across the street, a man exited a restaurant. A wafting breeze of Mediterranean spices drifted from the open door. My stomach rumbled, reminding me I hadn’t eaten all day.

Tallus, whose ear was pressed against my chest, chuckled. “Are you hungry, Guns?”

“Those are grumbles of impatience.”

“No. The bear sounds different.”

“Where the fuck is Buren?”

Tallus lifted his head and peered along the bustling street in both directions before tipping his chin. “Is that him?”

“Fucking finally.”

I guided Tallus away from the busy bus stop as the TTC pulled to the curb and opened its doors with a sigh of air brakes.

Catching Buren’s eye, I indicated an unoccupied overhang outside a boarded-up storefront. It was an active time of day in downtown Toronto, but that was the point. Lots of people meant we would blend in. It also meant finding a stalker was akin to locating a needle in a haystack .

Buren looked like shit. His shirt and tie did nothing to hide his nighttime predilections.

He wore scraggly facial hair, less a beard and more a sign of neglected self-care.

The sclera of his eyes held a permanent spiderwebbing of flaming capillaries.

If I didn’t know the guy was a coke addict, the constant sniffling would have given him away.

He’d probably bumped a line the second his shift ended.

“You got my money?” he asked once upon us.

Buren barely spared Tallus a glance as he extended his hand to collect his due.

I palmed the two fifties I’d taken out earlier and shook, refusing to let go once I’d clasped the clammy offering. Tugging Buren toward me, I hissed, “How do I know you’re not going to fuck off with my money and leave me dry?”

Buren’s grin displayed teeth in desperate need of a dentist. “You’re going to have to trust me.”

“I’ve never trusted you.”

“What choice do you have, Krause? You got someone else to do your dirty work?”

A low rumble grew inside my chest. “The guy I’m looking for was transferred to a hospital by ambulance on Wednesday, September seventeenth, from behind the Niagara apartments.

I don’t know which hospital. He was badly beaten and stabbed in the stomach.

Neck injuries, severe enough to compromise his breathing.

They inserted a trach on the scene. His first name is Clarence. That’s all I’ve got.”

“Mid-thirties,” Tallus added. “White. Roughly a hundred and eighty or a hundred and ninety pounds.”

Buren eyed Tallus before returning his attention to our clutched hands.

“No problem.” He tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t release him.

“When?”

“Meet me here tomorrow. Same time.”

“Not good enough. Tonight, or I report your ass.”

Buren huffed. “You can’t threaten me, Krause. This is extortion. You’re just as guilty.”

“You have no proof I asked anything of you, but a blood tox screen would leave you unemployed. All it would take is a phone call. Care to test how serious I am?”

“He’s had a rough couple of days,” Tallus added. “Don’t take it personally.”

As though noticing my banged-up face for the first time, Buren lost his cocky attitude. Wetting his lips, he scanned the street. “Full name?”

“And an address.”

“Two hours.”

“You have my number?”

“Yeah.”

“Text me.”

I released his hand and the money. Buren double-checked the amount before stuffing it into a pocket and shooting off down the street.

“Will he do it?” Tallus asked.

“If he knows what’s good for him.”

Buren vanished around a far corner. I took a minute to scan the street, unable to shake the feeling of being watched, yet unable to find the culprit.

“We need to get home,” I said, jittery and jumping at my own shadow.

“What about dinner?” Tallus motioned to the Mediterranean restaurant.

“I’m starving, and your stomach says you are too.

Gotta feed that bear, D.” He smirked, the old Tallus returning.

“Besides, Buren needs a couple of hours, so we might as well kill time. Unless,” he eyed the pouch around my wrist, “you’ve got other things to do. ”

God, I wanted to explain, if only to alleviate his worry, but I bit my tongue and considered his offer.

The idea of sitting in public coiled my intestines. I would never be able to relax. Before I could say no, the challenging look on Tallus’s face stopped me. I couldn’t keep shutting him down. Not without a reason.

Tallus was rarely needy or clingy. He had confidence in reserve.

Not once had he questioned the longevity of our relationship.

He waded through my shit day after day and kept right on going.

I was the one with insecurities coming out of my ass.

I was the one who constantly sought reassurance and walked a razor’s edge, convinced we were ten seconds from over.

“Dinner?” He asked again, quirking a brow. “It would be nice to forget the drama of the past twenty-four hours and simply spend time together.”

Tallus was offering an olive branch, seeking connection and reconciliation.

Sometimes, I forgot the foundation of what constituted a healthy relationship.

I had no basis for comparison, so I was making it up as I went along.

My hyperawareness of touch and affection often meant I overlooked the simple things.

When was the last time we had a proper date? If I couldn’t remember, then it must have been ages.

“Dinner would be nice.”

“Yeah?” A real smile touched the corner of his mouth. A spark of light shone in his eyes. Real Tallus returned.

“Yeah.” Despite anxiety and a roaring conscience telling me to hide Tallus away, I extended my hand.

He took it, and for a moment, all was right in the world.