Page 20 of A Breath of Life (Shadowy Solutions #4)

She concurred with a hum, which disturbed me greatly. “I’ve been thinking. You should go home, Tallus. I have a feeling Diem will turn up shortly. You mentioned a disagreement?”

I pouted. “Yes. It was stupid and all my fault. Spaghetti would have fixed it, but he left before the noodles were cooked, and they’re still in the pot, slimy and surrounded by a strange gray goop.

It’s frightening, so I haven’t cleaned it.

Also, the ground beef in the microwave is starting to smell like a dead body, not that I know what that smells like. ”

“Oh, sweetheart. Does that mean you’ve gone home?”

“Yes.”

“Good. You know Diem. It takes him longer than most to wade through complicated emotions and find balance. He probably lost track of time and is on his way to you right now. In fact, I know he is. I bet if you sit tight—”

Heavy footsteps sounded from the hallway.

I bolted upright and craned my head to listen. “Kitty, shh. I hear something.”

“See?”

A jangle of keys. The scrape of a lock .

“Oh my god.” I bounced off the couch at the same instant the apartment door opened, and Diem stumbled through, Echo trailing on her leash behind him.

“Kitty, we are having a conversation later about your witchiness. For real this time. He’s back. I love you. I gotta go.” I dropped the phone on the couch and launched at Diem, who had barely crossed the threshold, let alone closed the door.

My relief at seeing him alive and well was too overwhelming and all-consuming to ignore.

I slammed into him with such force that he lost his balance and crashed into the doorframe with an oof and a groan that seemed to suggest I’d hurt him, but that wasn’t possible. This was Brick Wall Diem. My Diem.

He dropped Echo’s leash on impact, and we nearly tumbled into the hallway, but he caught his balance and steadied us in time, still making odd, strangled noises in his throat.

Diem tried to speak but groaned instead as I smothered him in a crushing hug, burying my face in his neck.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so fucking sorry.

I didn’t know you were that mad. I was worried sick.

I thought you had left me forever and ever.

I couldn’t find you. I looked everywhere.

Then, I thought you were dead or arrested, but Kitty said you weren’t, and I trust her.

We can throw away the card. I’ll do the boring jobs that come in until you think I’m ready for the sneaky stuff.

I won’t complain ever again. I promise. Please don’t be angry anymore. ”

I tried and failed to scale him like a tree, wanting to cling, to be held, needing to fuse myself to his oversized body, but he fumbled my weight and set me on my feet instead with a strangled grunt. “Tallus, give me—”

“Hold me. Pick me up. Please, D.” And I absolutely whined and was not ashamed.

Diem didn’t object and wrapped his arms fully around me, dragging me closer and crushing my ribs so I could hardly take a full breath, but I didn’t care.

I didn’t need oxygen. I needed him. This.

My heart raced, but as his scent infiltrated my brain, it calmed me.

A hint of alcohol and cigarette smoke clung to his clothing, but I didn’t care.

Diem might always struggle with those addictions, but he was mine, flaws and all, and he was home.

“Why aren’t you picking me up?”

“I can’t.” Diem hunched, bringing himself to my level and burying his face in the crook of my neck as he inhaled. He kissed my temple and the shell of my ear before whispering, “I love you. I love you so fucking much,” over and over and over.

Like a prayer.

Like a promise.

It wasn’t like Diem to express his feelings so openly and without reservation.

Not in the bright light of day. Not when we weren’t in the act of making love and he couldn’t help it.

My heart swelled. After seventeen straight hours of high panic and tearing through the city on a quest to locate him, while finally surrounded by Diem’s bulk and immersed in his scent and love, I fell apart.

Silent tears overflowed and ran down my cheeks. My body succumbed to exhaustion and relief, and if Diem’s grip had been looser, I would have crumpled to the floor.

Thankfully, he didn’t let go, and I got the sense he needed this hug as much as I did. We were okay. It was a bump in the road. No one was angry anymore.

Several minutes passed before the drag of Echo’s leash registered. The poor dog paced and whined, nudging Diem’s leg and doing all she could to force herself between us to gain our attention .

Reluctantly, I pulled back and glanced at the dog. Echo’s ears were plastered to her head. Her tail didn’t wag, and her eyes, normally cheery and bright, stared warily at Diem with an expression I didn’t recognize.

“Is she okay?”

“Probably hungry. I’ll get you some food, baby girl.” Diem bent awkwardly to unclasp the leash from her collar.

His stiff movements and subsequent grunt of discomfort caught my attention. All I’d dismissed when Diem walked in the door registered as I truly looked at him for the first time.

“Holy shit.” I staggered back a step, eyes widening as I took him in. “Diem, you’re hurt. What the hell happened to you?”

His face was a medley of bruises, and much of it swollen.

Clotted blood crusted the edges of his nostrils, and his nose was nearly twice its normal size.

A thin cut shone purple on his swollen bottom lip.

It seeped a pinkish, clear fluid, as if it had only recently stopped bleeding.

Pain strained the skin next to his matching black eyes, but he wouldn’t look at me.

Not directly. He focused on a spot near my shoulder.

“Ran into some trouble,” he mumbled, shuffling into the apartment like he’d been hit by a truck. He shut the door and secured both the dead bolt and chain before scrutinizing the wooden surface as though unsatisfied.

“Christ, Diem. Look at me.” Turning him, I took his face between my palms and examined the injuries. Still, he avoided my gaze. “Were you in a fight? Did you get hit by a car?”

He sucked in a breath as I poked and prodded the worsening bruises.

He didn’t respond.

“Your nose is broken. ”

“I know. I’m fine. It… was nothing.” He tried to dislodge from my hold, but I refused to let go, keeping him in place.

“You’re not fine. This isn’t nothing, D. What the fuck happened?”

“I…” He fumbled, not completing the sentence. Again, he tried to move my hands from his face.

Reluctantly, I released him.

He stepped away and scanned the apartment, an angry stitch appearing between his brows. Tonguing the cut in his lip, he shook his head. “I need a minute.”

“Diem, answer me.”

His scowl deepened as he stared at the balcony window. “I… got jumped, okay. I’m fine. Let it go. I need a shower and a few painkillers, then I’m going to lie down for a bit.”

“You got jumped? Who? Where? What happened?” I knew I shouldn’t push. He told me to back down, but come on. Someone had messed him up.

Disregarding me once again, he moved to the balcony door and skimmed the street below. Jaw tensing, he thumbed the lock and tugged on the handle a few times as though to ensure it was secure.

“Diem?”

He drew the curtains, pulling the seam flush before turning to face me. Without sunlight streaming through the window, shadows filled the room and fell across his face. It amplified the bruising, making it more menacing.

Even in the low light, I didn’t miss the brewing storm building behind his eyes. “You are not to go anywhere without me.”

“What?”

More sharply, he repeated, “You don’t leave this apartment without me, understand? ”

I balked. “No, I don’t understand. What’s going on? Is someone after you?”

He clenched his fists, loosened them, then clenched them again. Even with dense scruff covering his neck, his bobbing Adam’s apple stood out as he thickly swallowed. “Please listen for once. I’m not feeling well, and I really need to lie down.”

I gaped as he stumbled past me and aimed for the bathroom.

“What the fuck? Diem, stop. You can’t vanish for, like, seventeen fucking hours or whatever it was, show up beaten to a pulp, then demand I stay inside without telling me what the hell happened.”

This was a prime example of communication breakdown, a stumbling block between us since the beginning.

Diem paused at the bathroom door and leaned heavily on the frame, pressing his forehead against the wood as he closed his eyes. A nerve in his jaw ticked as he gritted his teeth. I was pissing him off again, but I couldn’t help it. Why was he being so cagey?

I approached cautiously and touched his lower back, doing all I could to tone down the sass. “D? Talk to me.”

On a strangled exhale, he opened his eyes and lifted his head. An odd mixture of fury and sheer devastation filled his storm-colored eyes. “Not right now, okay? I can’t. I had a rough night.”

“You’re freaking me out.”

Diem closed his eyes again, and I could see him battling for control. When he reopened them, the fury was buried, not gone but shoved away where he didn’t think I could see it.

With a trembling hand, he reached out and feathered the backs of his fingers over my cheek. The delicacy of the touch made my heart stutter. “I love you, Tallus. Don’t be angry. I hate making you angry all the time. ”

“I’m not… D, I’m…” I didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t my Diem.

“I’d kiss you,” he continued, tonguing his lip again, “but I still taste blood, and—”

I rose to my toes and kissed him anyway, softly, so as not to aggravate the injury. When I pulled away, he ran a thumb over my lower lip, wiping away the saliva. “You shouldn’t do that. What if… We haven’t talked about… that stuff.”

“I don’t care, Diem.”

Momentarily puzzlement eclipsed his worry, but he shook it off as though unwilling to invite more problems into his already troubled mind. “Promise me you won’t go anywhere.”

“Why?”