Page 93
Story: You Were Never Not Mine
That she even knows Whit’s name fills me with dread. “Um…yes.”
“My God, Sinclair! This is—this is big news! Your father will be beside himself.”
“Why?” I’m clueless. Is it because they’ll feel special hanging out with Lancasters? I don’t want to let my parents anywhere near any Lancaster, especially August.
“He’s trying to find people that are on his level.” Mom makes this sound like such a logical response and I hate to tell her, but Dad is nowhere near the Lancasters’ level. I don’t even think I am, yet I just spent days with August.
“Is it serious?” she asks when I haven’t said anything. “With August?”
“I don’t know.” That’s the truth. I’m confused and don’t know how I feel about him. About us. Do I want it to be serious? My mom is right—I’m going to be nineteen soon. Do I really want to tie myself down with someone at this point in my life? There’s still so much to do. Like finish school. Figure out what I want to do with my life.
And is it stupid to get involved in a relationship with August when he’s going to graduate soon? He’ll be gone and I’ll still be here. On campus and missing him while he’s off living his life and forgetting about me.
My heart pangs just imagining it.
“You should try and figure it out soon, sweetheart. He’s a catch.” Mom giggles again and that’s it. I can’t stomach this conversation any longer.
“I need to go. I have to get to the library before it closes.” The lie falls from my lips easily and I don’t even feel bad. I’m desperate to get off this call.
“Of course, of course! I’ll let you go, but Sinclair? Keep me posted about what’s happening between you and that August Lancaster. Your father is going to want every single detail.” Mom sounds downright giddy.
Like I would give my parents every single detail about my “relationship”—I’m sure there are some parts of my relationship with August dear old Dad does not want to know.
“Bye, Mom.” I end the call before she can say anything elseand flop back on my mattress, staring up at the ceiling. This is how Elise finds me when she enters our room minutes later. I don’t even look at her but I can sense her coming to a stop, watching me.
“Are you okay?”
A sigh leaves me, and I keep my gaze fixed on the ceiling. “I think I’m in over my head.”
“With what? School? I am positively drowning in homework.” Elise settles heavily on the edge of her bed and I finally turn to look at her, our gazes meeting. Hers is full of sympathy. “I spent the entire weekend with my family and going out with my old friends instead of doing schoolwork and now I’m going to pay the price.”
“You had a good weekend then?”
“Oh yeah, it was so much fun. I even met up with my old boyfriend.” Her smile is small. “He’s learned some new moves.”
“You had sex with him?”
Elise nods. “It was nothing. Just casual.”
“Oh.” I glance up at the ceiling, wondering how I’m going to bring up what happened between me and August.
“Did you have a good weekend? Oh my God, how was your date with August? Did you have fun? Did he hold you captive all weekend and fuck your brains out?”
“Basically.” I glance over at Elise to find she’s gaping at me in shock. “Yes. I stayed at his apartment all weekend in the city.”
“He actually held you captive?” Elise squeaks.
“I stayed because I wanted to.” I sit up, gathering my hair in my hands and holding it off my neck. “He didn’t need to hold me captive.”
“I bet.” Elise’s smile is sly. “So…how was it?”
“Good.”
She arches a brow. “Good? That’s all you can say? Come on now. Don’t hold out on me. I need all the details.”
I don’t want to give her all the details. What happened between me and August is private. Just for me. Just for us.
“He knows what he’s doing.” Just from the look on her face I can tell that’s not good enough. She wants more. “He’s also got a giant dick.”
“My God, Sinclair! This is—this is big news! Your father will be beside himself.”
“Why?” I’m clueless. Is it because they’ll feel special hanging out with Lancasters? I don’t want to let my parents anywhere near any Lancaster, especially August.
“He’s trying to find people that are on his level.” Mom makes this sound like such a logical response and I hate to tell her, but Dad is nowhere near the Lancasters’ level. I don’t even think I am, yet I just spent days with August.
“Is it serious?” she asks when I haven’t said anything. “With August?”
“I don’t know.” That’s the truth. I’m confused and don’t know how I feel about him. About us. Do I want it to be serious? My mom is right—I’m going to be nineteen soon. Do I really want to tie myself down with someone at this point in my life? There’s still so much to do. Like finish school. Figure out what I want to do with my life.
And is it stupid to get involved in a relationship with August when he’s going to graduate soon? He’ll be gone and I’ll still be here. On campus and missing him while he’s off living his life and forgetting about me.
My heart pangs just imagining it.
“You should try and figure it out soon, sweetheart. He’s a catch.” Mom giggles again and that’s it. I can’t stomach this conversation any longer.
“I need to go. I have to get to the library before it closes.” The lie falls from my lips easily and I don’t even feel bad. I’m desperate to get off this call.
“Of course, of course! I’ll let you go, but Sinclair? Keep me posted about what’s happening between you and that August Lancaster. Your father is going to want every single detail.” Mom sounds downright giddy.
Like I would give my parents every single detail about my “relationship”—I’m sure there are some parts of my relationship with August dear old Dad does not want to know.
“Bye, Mom.” I end the call before she can say anything elseand flop back on my mattress, staring up at the ceiling. This is how Elise finds me when she enters our room minutes later. I don’t even look at her but I can sense her coming to a stop, watching me.
“Are you okay?”
A sigh leaves me, and I keep my gaze fixed on the ceiling. “I think I’m in over my head.”
“With what? School? I am positively drowning in homework.” Elise settles heavily on the edge of her bed and I finally turn to look at her, our gazes meeting. Hers is full of sympathy. “I spent the entire weekend with my family and going out with my old friends instead of doing schoolwork and now I’m going to pay the price.”
“You had a good weekend then?”
“Oh yeah, it was so much fun. I even met up with my old boyfriend.” Her smile is small. “He’s learned some new moves.”
“You had sex with him?”
Elise nods. “It was nothing. Just casual.”
“Oh.” I glance up at the ceiling, wondering how I’m going to bring up what happened between me and August.
“Did you have a good weekend? Oh my God, how was your date with August? Did you have fun? Did he hold you captive all weekend and fuck your brains out?”
“Basically.” I glance over at Elise to find she’s gaping at me in shock. “Yes. I stayed at his apartment all weekend in the city.”
“He actually held you captive?” Elise squeaks.
“I stayed because I wanted to.” I sit up, gathering my hair in my hands and holding it off my neck. “He didn’t need to hold me captive.”
“I bet.” Elise’s smile is sly. “So…how was it?”
“Good.”
She arches a brow. “Good? That’s all you can say? Come on now. Don’t hold out on me. I need all the details.”
I don’t want to give her all the details. What happened between me and August is private. Just for me. Just for us.
“He knows what he’s doing.” Just from the look on her face I can tell that’s not good enough. She wants more. “He’s also got a giant dick.”
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