Page 37
Story: You Were Never Not Mine
“Yeah.” Tim clears his throat, seemingly uncomfortable. “Rafael might’ve mentioned that to me.”
Oh boy. If they’re talking about Rafe and Elise having sex, then they’ve probably talked about me. “He got really drunk tonight.”
“So did she.” He sends me a curious look. “But you werecalm—and pretty quiet. You must really know how to control your liquor.”
“Yep.” That’s all I say because I’m not about to tell him I wasn’t drinking.
And why not? Am I afraid Tim is going to judge me? That’s silly. I told August I wasn’t drinking without any hesitation.
But there’s something about August that has me confessing everything all the time. Like he asks me a question and I dutifully answer it. He gives me a command and I do as he says without hesitation. It’s weird.
My entire reaction to him is weird.
I slow down as we approach our building. “Guess I’m home.”
Tim and I both come to a stop in front of the double doors of my dorm hall. He smiles at me, reaching out like he’s going to grab my hand or something and I take a step back, not wanting him to touch me after I was touched so thoroughly by August. I ignore the flicker of hurt I see in Tim’s eyes. “I had fun tonight.”
“Me too.”
“Maybe we could do this again.” His voice is hopeful.
“Maybe.” Mine is not.
“Well. Good night. See you in class.” Tim waves and walks away. I stand in the middle of the pathway, watching him until he disappears completely before I dash into the building and run up the stairs versus waiting for the very old and very slow elevator to take me to the second floor.
I practically sprint down the hall and unlock my dorm room door, pushing it open so it bangs against the wall, disappointed to find the room empty. Elise isn’t here.
Dang it. I wanted to tell her all about…
Wait. Tell her all about August? And what he did to me? And how much I liked it while my sweet, innocent date was watching the game without a care in the world? I look like acomplete and total slut. A cheater, even though Tim and I aren’t together. I’m a bad person.
Terrible.
Grateful that Elise isn’t here, I gather up my things and go to the communal bathroom where I take a long, hot shower. Considering most everyone is probably out tonight, I’m taking advantage of there being enough hot water and no one else in the bathroom with me. The effect is kind of ruined though when I have to wear flip flops while taking a shower. I’m not about to get any bacterial infections or a fungus.
Ah, college dorm life.
Once I’m finished, I make my way back to the dorm room, hopeful Elise is back, but the room is still empty. Unable to help myself, I plop down on the edge of the bed still in my robe and wearing nothing underneath it while I send her a quick text.
Me:Where are you?
She responds almost immediately.
Elise:With Rafe. We’re in his room. I’m going to stay here all night as long as the RA doesn’t catch us.
Me:Are you at the frat? Does Rafe have a room there?
If he does, that means she might see August and oh God, what if he says something to her? He would never.
Would he?
Knowing him, he probably would.
Elise:No we’re at his dorm room. That he shares with Tim. Who just showed up.
Me:Please tell me you’re not going to have sex in front of him.
Elise:I would never! I was literally a virgin like twelve hours ago. I’m not a ho.
Oh boy. If they’re talking about Rafe and Elise having sex, then they’ve probably talked about me. “He got really drunk tonight.”
“So did she.” He sends me a curious look. “But you werecalm—and pretty quiet. You must really know how to control your liquor.”
“Yep.” That’s all I say because I’m not about to tell him I wasn’t drinking.
And why not? Am I afraid Tim is going to judge me? That’s silly. I told August I wasn’t drinking without any hesitation.
But there’s something about August that has me confessing everything all the time. Like he asks me a question and I dutifully answer it. He gives me a command and I do as he says without hesitation. It’s weird.
My entire reaction to him is weird.
I slow down as we approach our building. “Guess I’m home.”
Tim and I both come to a stop in front of the double doors of my dorm hall. He smiles at me, reaching out like he’s going to grab my hand or something and I take a step back, not wanting him to touch me after I was touched so thoroughly by August. I ignore the flicker of hurt I see in Tim’s eyes. “I had fun tonight.”
“Me too.”
“Maybe we could do this again.” His voice is hopeful.
“Maybe.” Mine is not.
“Well. Good night. See you in class.” Tim waves and walks away. I stand in the middle of the pathway, watching him until he disappears completely before I dash into the building and run up the stairs versus waiting for the very old and very slow elevator to take me to the second floor.
I practically sprint down the hall and unlock my dorm room door, pushing it open so it bangs against the wall, disappointed to find the room empty. Elise isn’t here.
Dang it. I wanted to tell her all about…
Wait. Tell her all about August? And what he did to me? And how much I liked it while my sweet, innocent date was watching the game without a care in the world? I look like acomplete and total slut. A cheater, even though Tim and I aren’t together. I’m a bad person.
Terrible.
Grateful that Elise isn’t here, I gather up my things and go to the communal bathroom where I take a long, hot shower. Considering most everyone is probably out tonight, I’m taking advantage of there being enough hot water and no one else in the bathroom with me. The effect is kind of ruined though when I have to wear flip flops while taking a shower. I’m not about to get any bacterial infections or a fungus.
Ah, college dorm life.
Once I’m finished, I make my way back to the dorm room, hopeful Elise is back, but the room is still empty. Unable to help myself, I plop down on the edge of the bed still in my robe and wearing nothing underneath it while I send her a quick text.
Me:Where are you?
She responds almost immediately.
Elise:With Rafe. We’re in his room. I’m going to stay here all night as long as the RA doesn’t catch us.
Me:Are you at the frat? Does Rafe have a room there?
If he does, that means she might see August and oh God, what if he says something to her? He would never.
Would he?
Knowing him, he probably would.
Elise:No we’re at his dorm room. That he shares with Tim. Who just showed up.
Me:Please tell me you’re not going to have sex in front of him.
Elise:I would never! I was literally a virgin like twelve hours ago. I’m not a ho.
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