Page 83 of With a Cherry On Top

And Ireallyneed to talk to the one person who’s been a constant in my life over the last year, but I can’t tell Amelie any of this.

So why should I be better? Why should I be the one keeping it together when all I want is to fall apart?

The thought burns through me, hollowing out my insides like a slow-spreading flame. Tonight, I don’t want to be strong. Wise. The kind of person who takes the high road, makes the responsible choices. Someone his daughter should look up to.

Tonight, I just want Charlotte.

I lift my hand from where it rests on my thigh, hovering just above hers. I hesitate briefly, but then my fingers find the edge of her robe. The terrycloth bunches under my touch as I toy with the fabric, lightly pulling it to the side.

Charlotte doesn’t stop me.

She doesn’t shift away or clear her throat or make some joke to ease the tension.

She just watches as I trail my fingers along the seam of the robe, feeling the fine hairs on her skin rise under my touch.

I don’t know what I’m doing. Or maybe I do. Maybe I’ve known for a while now, and this was inevitable.

Her breath hitches, barely audible, but I hear it over the low hum of the TV. Like a spark catching on dry kindling, ready to set everything ablaze.

Her hand travels up to meet mine. She reaches down, cups my fingers with hers, and guides them up her leg, her skin warm and smooth beneath my palm. When she drags my hand to the curve of her outer thigh, I squeeze instinctively, my fingers sinking into her flesh.

A sharp inhale. Hers or mine—I’m not sure.

When she leans down, bridging the gap between us, every part of me tightens in anticipation.

“I won’t take advantage of this. Of you.”

What?

She traces the back of her fingers along my neck, holding my gaze again. “You’re safe to have a bad day around me, Chef.”

Disappointment settles in my stomach. I thought...I thought this was happening. I thought I could finally stop pretending that I don’tneedher, that I don’t want to drown in her. That I have the strength to resist her.

I’m ready to accept that I’m too weak. I want the escape she promises.

But her fingers slip into my hair and twist gently, grounding me before I can spiral further.

I stay there for a moment, forehead nearly dropping to her lap, breathing her in. Trying to commit this feeling to memory. Then, finally, I let my hand slip from her thigh, push myself up, and move to sit next to Sadie.

She rolls onto her side, her legs stretching out over mine and her head settling on Charlotte’s lap.

After settling a blanket over the two of them, I meet Charlotte’s gaze.

Neither of us speaks. Tonight was hell on earth, but with Sadie tucked between us and Charlotte’s warmth just within reach, something eases inside me.

She watches me for a while in the near dark of my living room, her lips curving in a small, knowing grin. The corners of my mouth lift before I can stop them.

And I can’t help but picture a version of my life where I fall asleep to her smile every night.

CHAPTER 16

Hot & Microwaved

This morning I stood at the stove for what felt like hours, hands braced on the counter, staring at the empty coffee cup Charlotte had placed in front of me earlier.

I should’ve said something before she got into that Uber. Should have insisted more about giving her a ride after I dropped Sadie off at school. Should’ve talked about last night, acknowledged what we almost did. How we fell asleep looking into each other’s eyes. But instead, I let her go without a word. I drove Sadie to school with my mind stuck on the way Charlotte had looked in my shirt after her shower this morning. How my couch probably still smelled like her. How she braided Sadie’s hair much better than I ever could.

I didn’t think I’d manage to sleep last night, not with everything going on, but I did. I slept like a fucking baby. Maybe I was just exhausted, but I have a strong feeling Charlotte being within arm’s reach had something to do with that.