Page 111 of With a Cherry On Top
“‘You exist with your whole heart. It’s beautiful to see.’”
Warmth unfurls in my chest. She’s read one of the notes I left for her.
“Did something happen to make you need the reminder?”
“You’re crazy if you think I have the kind of self-control needed for a jar of stars.”
“You opened them all?”
“Last night. Then I folded them all back up and opened one today.”
I grin, shaking my head lightly. “Of course. Well...I can make more. I think I could make an infinite amount, in fact.”
She chuckles, then after a long pause, she says, “You know I’m notusingyou, right?”
“Yeah?” I settle on the couch, lowering the volume of the TV. We haven’t really talked about our fight besides yesterday’s video call since Beatrice was around all day today, but I thought we’d cleared things up. “When I said that...I was just upset, Charlotte.”
“And it was my fault. But I want you to know...” For a moment, there’s only silence. Then, her voice comes back, quieter. “You matter to me, Chef.”
I let my head drop against the back of the couch.
“You’re not just some guy I use for pleasure.” She pauses, like she’s searching for the right words. “You’re...steady. Patient.Good.I don’t know if you realize how rare that is.”
I grip the phone a little tighter.
“I don’t do this,” she admits. “Not just the whole...being with one person thing, butthis—talking. Letting people get close. I don’t know how to be what people expect. And I think sometimes...” She lets out a laugh, like she’s still trying to make sense of it herself. “Sometimes I’m the worst version of myself to see if you’ll stick around. And you always do.”
A lump rises in my throat. “You’ll have to try harder than that.”
“Wait, I’m not done.” Her voice is firmer now, but there’s something nervous underneath it. “I just need to say this, okay?”
I stay quiet.
“At some point, you won’t stick around,” she says finally. “I’ll do the one thing that’s...too much. That would break even someone like you. Don’t say it’s not true, because you don’tknow. You don’t know...a lot of things.”
I really want to interject, to reassure her, to ask her whatthingsshe’s talking about, but I respect her wishes and keep my mouth shut.
“So I need you to know now, when things are good, that you’re not just some guy. You’retheguy. The guy I’ll compare everyone else to, the one who set the standard, who’ll make it even harder for me to settle. Because when I’m with you...I feel perfect. I feelright. And I’ve never felt like that before.”
For a second, I can’t speak.
Charlotte, who never lets anyone in. Charlotte, who keeps the world at arm’s length and acts like it doesn’t bother her. She’s giving me this.
I close my eyes, let the words settle, let myself feel the emotions trapped in them. The pain, the hope masked as certainty of failure, the fear. Then I say the only thing I know is true.
“Youareperfect.” I draw an imaginary pattern on my jeans. “In fact, I’d go as far as to say that you’re the exception to the ‘nobody’s perfect’ rule.”
She laughs, the sound like cherry blossoms sprouting in my chest.
“Well, I’ll travel out of town for a shoot this week, so if you want to get some of thisperfecton you...how about we hang out Friday night? I have a show in the afternoon, but you could come see me. We could spend the night at your place, watch another movie with Sadie.”
“Ye—” I immediately blurt, stopping once I realize Friday won’t work. “Fuck. I’ve got my brother’s bachelor party.”
“You do?”
“He’s getting married in a week and a half.”
“If you’re looking for a plus-one, you should know I’m in quite high demand. You better book fast.”
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