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“You can take it easy, you know.”

“Except that I can’t,” I retorted, my voice sharper than it needed to be. I finished with my boots and faced him. “You don’t get it, Wolf. You’re strong. You’ll get into The Golden City without even trying. You’re an angel, for fuck’s sake. But me? I have work to do. I have people who are counting on me. I can’ttake it easyand expect to make it out of here alive.”

I expected a rebuttal, some snarky remark, an insult. Anything. But Wolf only tightened his jaw and looked away.

“Right,” I mumbled, heading for the door. “I’ll talk to you later.”

I fastened my hair into a bun behind my head on my way to the classroom. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not Wolf. Not now. I couldn’t understand the way I was feeling. After last night, everything was blurred.

The line between hatred and need, the line between fae and monster.

Everythingblurred.

I burst into the training room with my fists tightened.

Lanson, who was tied in conversation with Ashlani and Voiler, snapped his head in my direction. Everyone else continued sparring around the courtyard, unaware of my absence entirely. The sun rose above the walls of the castle, beating down on everyone, even in the chilled air.

I heard a satisfying thud of a fist hitting flesh, followed by a roar of victory from one of the males to my right, but I continued walking straight ahead.

“There you are!” Lanson called out, immediately jogging over to me. “I was worried about you. Feeling any better?”

“Yeah,” I lied, lowering my head so he couldn’t see my features. “Much better.”

“Good, because there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

I shoved my hands in my pockets, waiting for him to continue.

“The apprentice ball is coming up. I’m wondering if you’d like to attend with me.”

I stared at him in shock. Lanson was nice, sure, but to ask me to the ball? Attending those things was not a priority for me. Making friends was not a priority, either. And why would Lanson askmeof all people here?

“That’s sweet, Lanson, but I—”

“Just think about it, okay?” His eyes were so large and innocent. I envied him, I really did. He didn’t have the heaviness on his shoulders that I had grown so accustomed to. He wasn’t from Midgrave. He didn’t have to claw and beg just to make it through the day alive. Fae from the surrounding cities seemed… happy.

“Sure.” I forced a smile on my face. “I’ll think about it.”

The morning went by as usual. Lanson took it easy on me while we trained, whether he knew I was sore as hell from last night’s attack or not.

“Time for sparring,” Commander Macanthos announced as he stormed into the courtyard. He wore the same training clothes he wore every day, but his long-sleeved top was replaced by one cut at the shoulders, exposing his sculpted and scarred arms.

I tilted my head toward the sky and silently thanked the goddess that he didn’t notice my late arrival.

Commander Macanthos pushed past everyone until he reached the center of the courtyard. He held up a sheet of paper and read, “First up, I want to see Huntyr and Espek.”

All hells.

Ryder’s friend.

This could not possibly have come at a worse time. My body screamed at me to relax, to surrender. I’d fought in pain before, and I’d certainly suffered worse injuries than these. But the pure weight of exhaustion I felt now was lethally new.

I didn’t want to take another beating.

But I had no choice.

“Fine,” I said, stepping into the training circle. “Let’s get this over with.”

The fae before me looked angry. Angrier than Ryder.