Page 106
Story: Wildest Dreams
By the time I’d parked in front of the shelter, my head was a mess. I grabbed the leashes from the passenger seat and twisted around to clip them onto the dogs’ harnesses. They complied without complaint, hanging their dumb, innocent gazes at me.
“Don’t look at me like that.” I scowled.
They blinked in unison.
“You don’t fit my lifestyle. I didn’t choose this. Not any of this crap.”
Silence.
“God dammit.” I unclipped the leashes, dumping them on the passenger seat and rubbing my face.
By dropping these little shits at a shelter, I was becoming my parents. An emotionally stunted, self-centered human without one redeeming bone in his entire body.
I knew lots of people. I could get them rehomed somewhere nice, with people I trusted. Tossing them in a shelter was theeasiest, coldest, most immoral option. It was the wrong thing to do.
I blew out a breath, dropping the back of my head to the leather seat. “Fluffy?”
He whimpered in response.
“I’m sorry, buddy, but we’re going to have to hit the vet next. But first, there’s something I need to do.”
I called Dylan. She answered on the first ring. I tried not to read too much into it.
“Do you want me to grab Grav for a couple hours? I’m heading to the vet, and I’m sure she’ll like this experience. Figured it’d give you more time to recoup from that flu.”
“Did you catch what I have? I know I called you a horndog, but I did not mean that literally.” Dylan sounded skeptical.
I grinned. “My parents dropped their two dogs with me earlier today when they came to tell me they’re fucking off to travel the world and that they sold the house, burned my inheritance money, and got rid of all my childhood memorabilia.”
“Jesus,” Dylan hissed out. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve been there to give them a piece of my mind.”
“You’d have given them a piece of your fist too. Admit it.” I immediately felt lighter as I pulled off the curb at the shelter, talking to Dylan.
“I’d never lay a finger on an elderly couple. I’d have insulted them to their demise, even if it took days.”
I laughed.
“Just, you know, as a homage for my brother, of course. Not because it’s you or anything,” she added.
She was trying to keep this below surface level, the way I did when I rearranged Tuckwad’s face.
“Yeah, we both care for your brother so much. So how about that vet?” I asked.
“Yeah, she’ll be excited, and it’ll give me some quiet time to look for work.”
Five hours later, I was eight thousand dollars poorer thanks to the vet fees I’d paid for Fluffy’s upcoming cruciate ligament repair. I also had to get them both shots so they were up to date, chip them, and pay for blood work, dental cleaning, and a ton of other shit to make them good candidates for adoption. The vet said they appeared to be between two and three years old, and although they were in good health, they had been obviously neglected. No surprises there.
Grav was a trooper throughout. I told her I’d buy her ice cream if she helped the vet. The vet gave her mundane tasks like cleaning the same spot on the metal counter over and over again, throwing things into the trash, and washing her hands a thousand times. I treated her to three scoops afterward and taught her to drink the dregs of the ice cream like a milkshake through the tip of the cone. I considered it my contribution to humanity.
By the time I brought her back to her mom, Gravity was pooped. Dylan opened the door looking like my favorite meal, and I was glad when her kid ran to her room to do something that wasn’t asking us five hundred questions a minute about doggy heaven. The dogs were upstairs in the penthouse, but their scent clung to me.
As soon as Gravity was out of our way, Dylan crushed me with an all-consuming hug. “I’m so proud of you,” she murmured into my neck.
“That makes one of us. I spent almost ten thousand dollars on a pair of pets I don’t even own.” I disconnected from her, waltzing over to the wine room to grab myself a drink.
“You’re becoming a person you’d want to befriend.” She followed me.
I poured us both generous glasses of wine. “What about you? How was your day?”
“Don’t look at me like that.” I scowled.
They blinked in unison.
“You don’t fit my lifestyle. I didn’t choose this. Not any of this crap.”
Silence.
“God dammit.” I unclipped the leashes, dumping them on the passenger seat and rubbing my face.
By dropping these little shits at a shelter, I was becoming my parents. An emotionally stunted, self-centered human without one redeeming bone in his entire body.
I knew lots of people. I could get them rehomed somewhere nice, with people I trusted. Tossing them in a shelter was theeasiest, coldest, most immoral option. It was the wrong thing to do.
I blew out a breath, dropping the back of my head to the leather seat. “Fluffy?”
He whimpered in response.
“I’m sorry, buddy, but we’re going to have to hit the vet next. But first, there’s something I need to do.”
I called Dylan. She answered on the first ring. I tried not to read too much into it.
“Do you want me to grab Grav for a couple hours? I’m heading to the vet, and I’m sure she’ll like this experience. Figured it’d give you more time to recoup from that flu.”
“Did you catch what I have? I know I called you a horndog, but I did not mean that literally.” Dylan sounded skeptical.
I grinned. “My parents dropped their two dogs with me earlier today when they came to tell me they’re fucking off to travel the world and that they sold the house, burned my inheritance money, and got rid of all my childhood memorabilia.”
“Jesus,” Dylan hissed out. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve been there to give them a piece of my mind.”
“You’d have given them a piece of your fist too. Admit it.” I immediately felt lighter as I pulled off the curb at the shelter, talking to Dylan.
“I’d never lay a finger on an elderly couple. I’d have insulted them to their demise, even if it took days.”
I laughed.
“Just, you know, as a homage for my brother, of course. Not because it’s you or anything,” she added.
She was trying to keep this below surface level, the way I did when I rearranged Tuckwad’s face.
“Yeah, we both care for your brother so much. So how about that vet?” I asked.
“Yeah, she’ll be excited, and it’ll give me some quiet time to look for work.”
Five hours later, I was eight thousand dollars poorer thanks to the vet fees I’d paid for Fluffy’s upcoming cruciate ligament repair. I also had to get them both shots so they were up to date, chip them, and pay for blood work, dental cleaning, and a ton of other shit to make them good candidates for adoption. The vet said they appeared to be between two and three years old, and although they were in good health, they had been obviously neglected. No surprises there.
Grav was a trooper throughout. I told her I’d buy her ice cream if she helped the vet. The vet gave her mundane tasks like cleaning the same spot on the metal counter over and over again, throwing things into the trash, and washing her hands a thousand times. I treated her to three scoops afterward and taught her to drink the dregs of the ice cream like a milkshake through the tip of the cone. I considered it my contribution to humanity.
By the time I brought her back to her mom, Gravity was pooped. Dylan opened the door looking like my favorite meal, and I was glad when her kid ran to her room to do something that wasn’t asking us five hundred questions a minute about doggy heaven. The dogs were upstairs in the penthouse, but their scent clung to me.
As soon as Gravity was out of our way, Dylan crushed me with an all-consuming hug. “I’m so proud of you,” she murmured into my neck.
“That makes one of us. I spent almost ten thousand dollars on a pair of pets I don’t even own.” I disconnected from her, waltzing over to the wine room to grab myself a drink.
“You’re becoming a person you’d want to befriend.” She followed me.
I poured us both generous glasses of wine. “What about you? How was your day?”
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