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When Jihoon blinked his eyes open again, he didn’t know how much time had passed. Hours or days.

Miyoung’s face came into focus, and he sat up to the sound of beeping machines and humidifier steam. He let himself fall back against the pillows. The mere act of sitting up made him short of breath.

“How are you feeling?” Miyoung asked.

He didn’t reply, just stared as she adjusted his blankets, fluffed his pillow.

“Your mother stepped out, but she’s coming back.” Miyoung spoke quickly, as if to fill the silence.

“You should feed,” he said.

“What?”

He took her hand between his. “You should feed.”

She shook her head. “We don’t know how that could affect you. And after this episode, it’s obvious you’re too weak. I won’t risk it.”

“If you don’t, you’ll die.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“Wouldn’t it be better that at least one of us lives?” Jihoon asked.

“No,” Miyoung said emphatically.

“Don’t you get it?” Jihoon asked, his monitors beeping a warning of a rising heart rate. “I don’t want to live anymore. My halmeoni is dead because of me, and my body is giving out anyway. Just feed. Don’t be a martyr for me when I don’t want one.”

“We’ll figure out another solution.”

“You said it yourself. You’re too used to having all the time in the world. But it’s not something you can spend in limitless amounts anymore.”

“Since it’s mine to spend, I’ll do with it what I want,” Miyoung snapped.

“If you get the bead, you can live forever. Why would you throw that away?”

“I can only live if I kill others. I won’t. Not anymore.”

“What does an immortal gumiho care about us mere mortals,” Jihoon muttered. “We die, it’s what we do.”

Miyoung winced as he threw her own words in her face. “I don’t care about immortality. I care about you.”

A month ago, even a week ago, he would have held on to thesewords like precious sunlight. But he didn’t deserve it, not after he’d failed his halmeoni so completely.

“I shouldn’t be the reason for anyone’s happiness.”

“That’s not true.”

“My halmeoni died before I could prove to her I was worth it. All the things she sacrificed for me, and she died thinking I was a failure. A last-place nobody.”

“Jihoon-ah, your halmeoni never believed that.”

He let go of her hand and rolled away from her. “Just leave me alone. It’s what you’re best at.”

He shut his eyes until he heard the door close as she left.

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