Page 132

Another Lifetime

ADONIS

Ican count on one hand the number of times I’ve had a solo lunch with my mother. I’m not an event she typically pencils into her plans, so having her show up at my office around lunchtime surprised me enough to make me cancel my plans with Silas and Alonzo.

At the same restaurant where we had lunch on my birthday.

The same place I’d been when I found out Weston woke up.

The same place I’d been when both my parents confirmed what I always knew.

Delilah still hated me then. And last night she told me she loved me.

Silas would unironically call this a “full circle moment.”

“You know, I never wanted kids.”

My mother’s clipped words have me cocking my head to study her.

To say I’m surprised by her confession would be a lie, but it’s her need to vocalize it that has me stuck.

I know exactly what I am to her. I was the last box she needed to tick to fulfill her marriage contract.

An obligation, in simpler terms. Even as a kid, I knew that and held the knowledge close. There was no need to get upset over facts.

“What am I saying?” She shakes her head, staring at her salad plate. “That didn’t come out right.”

“I think it did.” My voice holds no inflection, no judgment.

“Adonis…you have to understand things were different back then.”

She makes thirty-four years ago sound like the Middle Ages, but I nod and let her finish.

“I accepted that I didn’t have a choice. And it was probably the worst thing I could have done. I didn’t fight back when other people were making choices for me. I didn’t know I could.”

She drops her fork and gulps her wine.

“Your father and I ended up okay. But it took some time. I respect him very much. And you…”

Her eyes travel across my face.

“You are more than we bargained for.” She messes with her perfect hair. “I don’t say that to be cruel. Just honest.”

I give her a look I hope conveys my understanding.

“You were gone for so much of your life that by the time you came home to go to college, you felt like a stranger.”

“Likewise,” I tell her.

A wistful smile replaces her frown. “Youwerea stranger and it was our fault. I didn’t know how to be a mother. I was too busy resenting the choices I didn’t get to make. Iknew it was bad when you didn’t even want to spend the holidays with us. You went to Aspen with the twins your first Christmas break of undergrad and I about lost it.”

My brow arches. I never knew she cared where I spent my holidays.

“I don’t know why I thought you’d want to spend time with us when we’d been shipping you off since you were old enough to talk.” She lifts her shoulders, heaving an exasperated sigh. “You were simply sticking to tradition.”

“Did you and dad have a fight or something? Why are you acting so…”

“Hurt?” That sad smile makes a return to tease her lips. “I can assure you, it has nothing to do with your father.”