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Ellie shook her head. “No. But I know that she’s mad and sad at the same time and you’re avoiding each other.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry about that. I just don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

Fuck, I hated explaining this to her.

“Why not?”

I let out a sigh. “We just can’t.”

Ellie’s eyes narrowed.

“That’s not a good reason.”

It wasn’t, but it was all I had for her.

“I’m sorry,” I said, not sure why I was apologizing to this kid I barely knew.

“You should go back to being friends. You made Honey happy.”

Motherfucker. Now the sister was slicing me with words. Next thing the parents would be giving me a tongue lashing.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. She huffed again and went back to the table. Without looking over, I knew that Honey had been watching us.

This was a nightmare.

At last,the day ended and I braced myself for Honey to come and admonish me for being mean to her little sister, but she didn’t. She also hadn’t sent me any messages. Not as herself, and not as Melliferal.

I’d been scrolling back through our chat history and found myself smiling and laughing about our old jokes and silly things we’d shared with each other. In spite of not knowing names or anything else, I’d opened up to Melliferal in ways I hadn’t with anyone, maybe ever.

I’d never been safe enough to share those deep and quiet thoughts with my family and the last time I’d tried to get close to an online friend, she’d ended up turning on me and then ghosting me after accusing me of doing all kinds of things I’d never done. I was still hurt and confused about that whole thing.

And then I’d met Melliferal and had let myself trust someone new, against my better judgment. Now here she was, handling jars of hot honey just a few feet away. Real and beautiful and impossible.

No one said anything to me when I got up to leave, and I decided to count myself lucky that no one else in the Holloway family had decided to come and yell at me for making Honey sad.

Honey wouldn’t be sad for long. She’d find someone else. She had to.

Not wanting to go home and be bitter and alone, I decided to venture to Sapph and be bitter surrounded by people with a neon pink drink in my hand. I’d let the bartender talk me into one of the specials and it was like drinking a liquefied candy store, but for some reason the sweetness was working on me.

So many lovely people dancing and sweating and being free. It should have made me sad or angry, but it didn’t. I liked being near them. Kind of like how I liked being near Honey and her intrinsic sunshine.

Honey Holloway didn’t light up a room. She lit up the entire world. She lit mine up, at least. Blinded me with her intensity. Wiped out everything else but her.

Honey wasn’t here and I didn’t want her to be.

I didn’t.

I wasn’t going to be able to get rid of her if I kept pining for her.

Not pining. I wasn’t pining. I didn’t pine. Pining was for pathetic people.

“Hey gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?” a soft butch with an undercut and a sharp jaw asked me as she sidled up next to my stool.

“I’m good, thank you,” I said, not making eye contact.

“You sure?” she asked.

“Yup.”