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I snuck out to tell the bees all about book club and the weirdness at the end.

“I’m probably being totally self-centered thinking that I did something. It probably has absolutely nothing to do with me. That doesn’t stop me from wanting to make it okay.”

I would see Bren tomorrow and hopefully I could get an explanation. Until then, my mind was running wild with all kinds of increasingly wild theories until I finally passed out that night.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting.

Chapter Eighteen

Bren

What the fuckwas I supposed to do? I finally escaped the bathroom and I knew Delaney didn’t buy my contacts explanation, but she didn’t push, and I was allowed to leave on unsteady legs.

How the hell was this possible? Of all the people in the world, I’d found Honey Holloway in the comments of a random fanfic and we’d become friends and she ended up with the table next to mine at the marketplace? The odds of that were too tiny to bother counting.

It was absolutely fucking wild.

I somehow drove back to my apartment and made it up the stairs and onto my couch where I ended up staring at the turned-off TV for a while, my thoughts spinning and tumbling all over each other.

Both Honey and Melliferal were sending me messages now. I couldn’t seem to grasp the fact that they were the same person. I’d pictured Melliferal over the years but had never really imagined her exact features.

Now I knew. I knew the shape of her cheeks and that she had dimples and that her hair wasn’t just gold, but it was tarnished brass and wheat and the soft brown of a baby animal. I knew her exact height and how I wouldn’t have to lean too far at all to kiss her.

I knew the shape and depth of her laugh. I knew about her parents and her siblings and her bee obsession.

This was why I hadn’t wanted to know anything about Melliferal. This was what I’d been hoping to avoid.

Now here I was. Completely obsessed with two women who were actually the same woman.

Robotically, I stumbled into the shower and managed to wash myself before sliding into my pajamas and getting into bed. I’d left my phone on the kitchen counter. I couldn’t deal with it right now. I was too busy flipping out about tonight’s revelation.

How in the hell was I supposed to look at her tomorrow? What was I supposed to do?

Those questions kept me up most of the night.

In the morning,I had to get up and get my ass to the marketplace, but it was the last thing I wanted to be doing. There was no choice, though. Of course there were times when other vendors couldn’t show up for one reason or another, but if you did it too much, you had the risk of losing your space.

I had to go. There was no one else to cover for me.

No matter how much I mentally fortified myself before I walked in, I was not prepared to see Honey standing in a shaft of sunlight and smiling at her youngest sister.

Fucking fuck. Was the universe trying to torture me? What had I done to deserve this? Was it because I was kind of rude and couldn’t stand most people? Was it something from my childhood?

Things got worse when I turned to start setting up my table and Honey noticed me.

“Bren, good morning.” She was practically trembling with the need to barrage me with questions, but she was doing her best to hold back. Her hands were clasped behind her back, but she was leaning toward me, her eyes bright and worried.

“Good morning,” I said, amazed that my voice sounded normal.

“How are your, um, eyes?”

“What?” I asked, confused.

She pointed to her eye. “You had a contact issue last night? That’s why you were in the bathroom?” Right. That lie. Being near her made it impossible to form a coherent thought.

This wasMelliferal. The woman I’d told so many secrets and wishes and revealed so many corners of my soul to. I might not have told her my name, but I’d told her a hell of a lot of other shit that was more important.

And now this woman knew my nameandabout my most shameful moments.