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There was a fine line to walk between just a kiss and a kiss that was leading to something else, and I could feel Cadence rushing toward the second, so I grabbed the back of her neck and sought control. We didn’t need to burn through everything at once. There was something to be said for sinking into the moment and appreciating where you were.

“Slow,” I said into her mouth. “There’s no rush, Cade.”

Her eyes flew open as she panted. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I just think that whatever this is, we should savor it. We have time,” I said, still playing with her hair and massaging the back of her neck. Why did I love holding her there?

She blinked a few times and licked her lips, which made me want to kiss her all over again.

“None of this feels real, I guess,” she said. “So I want to grab onto it with both hands and just… I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and have this be a really good dream I had.”

I stroked her face. “It’s real, Cadence. I don’t know how, but it is.”

Chapter Seventeen

Cade

In less than twenty-four hours, everything had changed. Eloise and I kissed in her kitchen for what felt like forever and I almost asked if she wanted to take things upstairs, but every time things got more heated, she took control and I melted and let her. It made sense that she would want to take things slower, since this was the first time she’d done anything with a woman.

I was known for being impulsive, and that extended to going further than I might have in the moment because things felt so damn good and I lost all my rules and common sense.

“Aren’t you sick of me yet?” I asked as we sat on the couch together. I should go home, and she should tell me to go home, but here I was. Still in her house and still wearing her clothes.

We’d eventually gotten out the ice cream and were sharing the pint back and forth. It was the expensive shit, and I really did want to eat the whole thing myself.

“No,” Eloise said, her feet tucked up on the couch as we leaned into each other. “It’s nice having you here without work standing between us.”

That was true. This unstructured time where there were no rules or responsibilities and we could just have time together to talk about anything. So much better than sending silly messages back and forth.

“When did you come out?” she asked as she combed her fingers through my hair. I had quickly gotten the impression that she liked my hair, so I was going to start wearing it down more often for her.

“Junior high. My friends were just starting to get boyfriends and talk about crushes and I realized that I didn’t have any of those kinds of thoughts about boys, but I sure did about girls. I ended up having a huge crush for like two years on one of my straight friends. I only got over it after she moved away. Sometimes I think about looking her up online and seeing what she’s doing now.”

Eloise set the empty ice cream container aside and took my spoon from me, moving closer until she was almost in my lap.

“And your family was good with it?” she asked.

I leaned my head against the couch. “Yeah, they were. It wasn’t very dramatic. And then I had my first girlfriend and took her to prom and we were in a pretty progressive town, even though it was small.”

Eloise frowned. “It was different. When I was growing up. I know you don’t like to think about the years between us, but things were different. I only knew one or two people out at my high school and they were pariahs. Even if I’d been able to figure out my feelings back then, coming out would have been a huge mistake.”

I took her hand and squeezed it. “That sucks. I’m sorry it wasn’t safe for you.”

She shrugged, but I could feel the pain radiating off her.

“You don’t talk about your family,” I said, trying to keep my voice gentle.

“We’re not really in contact. I kind of…let that part of my past go when I became Eloise Roth.”

I sat up. “Wait, is Eloise Roth not your real name?” That was quite the revelation.

“Eloise is my real first name, but my last name was Ross until I changed it to Roth.”

I gaped at her. “For real?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Huh. Yeah, Eloise Roth is much better.” I couldn’t believe she had told me that.