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Cadence reached out and held onto me as we gasped for air, tears on our faces.

“We’re going to have to work on a script and better costumes for next time,” Cadence said, wiping her eyes.

“Oh, next time? You think there’s going to be a next time?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Cadence said, getting to her feet. “That was fun. Didn’t you have fun?”

I did. It was fun.

Instead, I shook my head and got up. “We need to get back to work.”

Cadence huffed out a sigh. “Come on, admit it. You’ve had fun today.”

She skipped next to me as we walked to the parking garage.

“You had funnnnn,” she kept saying.

“Fine,” I said. “I had fun.”

“Ha! I knew it. Eloise Roth does like fun.”

We reached the garage and started walking around to get to my car. “I like fun. What are you talking about?”

Cadence didn’t speak for a few steps. “I know you’re fun, El. I just meant that I don’t think you leave enough space in your life for it. Especially for the spontaneous kind. Like today.”

El. She’d called me El. I glanced over at her face and she didn’t even seem to realize that she’d done it.

We reached my car and I unlocked it. “I’m not sure how offended I should be right now.”

Cadence rolled her eyes and got into the passenger seat. I set my present in the back and slid into the driver’s side.

“It was good to see you laugh like that today,” she finally said.

I turned the car on, and we were mostly quiet for the drive back to my house.

* * *

The rest of the day was normal, at least for Cadence. She went back to working on her laptop (after she’d changed out of her stained clothes) and put her headphones on as if it was business as usual.

I, on the other hand, was having a crisis.

Today had been completely out of my routine and I wasn’t coping very well.

Things that I had put aside and buried and ignored were bubbling to the surface and I didn’t know if I could push them back again. Those moments and feelings from the past that I’d tried to hide, even from myself.

I wasn’t…

Attempting to work right now was a losing task, but I went through the motions and did my best until it was finally the end of the day.

“Hey,” Cadence said when she was packing up her bag. I gratefully shut down my laptop. I was tired, but I’d promised to go over to Camille’s tonight for dinner. She’d pretend it wasn’t my birthday and then surprise me with a little gift and the kids would sing and give me homemade cards and I’d act like I hated it. We did it every year.

“I hope it was a good birthday. And that you reevaluate your stance on celebrating birthdays.” Her voice was soft as she slung her bag over her shoulder and came around the side of my desk.

“I don’t think I will, but thank you for today anyway,” I said, tilting my face up to look at her.

She smiled at me and nodded. “You’re welcome.”

I expected her to turn and leave, but she paused and before I knew what was happening, she had leaned down and kissed my cheek.