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Cadence blinked several times in succession. “Hold on. Can we… What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I said immediately. “You were upset and I hugged you. That was it.”

Her eyes narrowed and she glared at me. “You and I both know that’s not the truth.”

No, it wasn’t.

“I’m not…you…” I had never had so much trouble with words in my life.

“El,” she said softly. “Is there something going on?”

It was her calling me El that did it.

“It doesn’t matter.” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I can be professional. This doesn’t have to affect anything.”

“I think I need to sit down,” she said, her voice detached. She pulled out the chair and sat heavily on it, staring off into space. “I think I’m going to need you to be a little more specific. What doesn’t matter?”

Now I wanted to sit down. I grabbed another chair and pulled it around so we were facing each other. My palms had started to sweat, so I wiped them on my dress. I’d picked out my favorite to wear today, hoping she would notice. Hoping she would see that I’d worn something nice for her.

“I don’t think we should talk about this. Because if we do, we can’t go back. Once the words are said, they can’t be unsaid. Are you sure you want to go down that road?” I asked.

Cadence was cracking her knuckles and the sounds made me wince.

“I don’t even know what road we’re on because you haven’t said anything. Jesus, Eloise. Can you give me a straight answer?” She was frustrated, but I was scared.

“Why did you kiss me on the cheek?” I asked. “Was it just to wish me happy birthday?”

Cadence sighed. “I think we both know that it wasn’t. I just didn’t know until today that I wasn’t the only one who might feel something.”

Our eyes met and locked and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

“You feel something,” I said.

“Yes,” she breathed. “I do. And you?”

I paused before I spoke the word that was going to change everything. “Yes.”

“Holy shit,” Cadence said. “You’re serious right now?”

“Yes,” I repeated. “Yes, I feel something.”

Cadence’s eyes went wide and I watched about seven different expressions pass across her face in quick succession, landing on disbelief as she burst to her feet and pointed at me. Accusatory.

“But you’re straight! What is happening right now? Is this even real?”

She looked around, as if she was waiting for someone else to pop up and declare all of this a joke.

“I’m not, necessarily. Straight, I mean,” I said, nearly choking on the words that I’d held back for most of my life.

Cadence gaped at me. “Are you fucking serious? Since when?”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Since always. I just never… I never did anything about it. I put it aside and got on with my life. That part of me wasn’t important. It didn’t matter.” Until now. Until her.

Cadence opened and closed her mouth a few times before shaking her head.

“I don’t even know what’s happening right now,” she said, walking a few feet away and then starting to pace. Like I did when I needed to work through a difficult chapter.

“You’re telling me that you’re bi, or pan, or not straight, and you hugged me like…” She trailed off.