Page 24

Unfortunately, I’m still having flashbacks and nightmares.
Doc completes his assessment and settles into a chair across from me. He’s in his sixties, with salt-and-pepper hair and glasses. He carries himself with a quiet demeanor that puts me at ease.
He leans forward, his voice earnest. “Did you know Ethan hired me because I have a background in addiction? He wanted to ensure you weren’t being enabled and received the help you needed. And it’s not just you. We have others on the team who struggle with substance use, but I believe you were the main reason.”
Is he trying to make me feel guilty? I already know I’m indebted to Ethan. He’s my coach, but he also loves Aurora. He wants to win, but any other man would’ve taken advantage of my situation and snatched up my girl.
“The trainer mentioned something during my last game when I asked for a med, but besides that, I just figured he was a control freak.”Because he is.
A tiny smirk tugs at his lips. “As true as that may be, he still cares about you. He finds it difficult to believe you’d relapse, even if you were experiencing an episode beforehand.” He clears his throat and pushes his glasses up his nose. “He’s emotionally invested, but I can’t treat you unless I know the truth. Were you using PEDs? Be honest with me.”
His intense gaze makes me shift uncomfortably, irritation flitting in my chest. “I’ve never taken a performance-enhancing drug. Ever. I played sports my entire life and went to a boarding school in Canada. I had nothing better to do than play hockey.”
His nod is slow and deliberate, as if he’s mulling over my words, not dismissing them as lies. “When did you start feeling off or sick?”
“It’s hard to say. Maybe the night before Aurora left. My thoughts have been chaotic, which isn’t abnormal, but usually, I can reel myself in. My memory is spotty after arriving in Vegas.”
Doc glances at the ceiling, silently pondering and tapping his pen on his knee.
Impatience gets the better of me, and I demand, “What? What is it?”
“You tested positive for GHB and cocaine, along with opiates. I ran multiple tests, because your symptoms don’t align with one night of cocaine and alcohol. Some bodybuilders mix GHB and cocaine in their workout formula to enhance performance and offset the crash.”
A wave of nausea washes over me, and my stomach knots. My heartbeat thumps loudly in my ears. Fear slithers through my veins, and I brace myself for the inevitable truth.
Trying to keep my voice steady, I ask, “What’s GHB?”
Doc’s empathetic gaze confirms my worst fears. “It’s a designer drug, a sedative if used in larger quantities. Some refer to it as…”
Please don’t say it. Please don’t let me be right about this.
“…the date rape drug.”
The room tilts, and I squeeze my eyes closed, allowing the floor beneath me to crumble. It’s Kyle’s favorite party drug, and I can’t help but wonder if this is some twisted karma for harboring the knowledge of his transgressions.
I’ve kept my mouth shut. Why would he go this far?
So I’d be caught and have to lean on him to skirt the test results. Okay, I get that. It has happened in the past.
So I’d lose Aurora and control of my trust fund…which becomes available in about six months…
Aurora’s due date and my twenty-sixth birthday are only two months apart. Right now, I have no access to my trust, and if Kyle proves I’m still incompetent, that’ll continue.
It’s possible that, in his eyes, my child support would only be based on my income from hockey, not the hundreds of millions my mother left me.
Aurora is unaware of my trust, nor would she care, but Kyle does—a lot. He’s a greedy bastard. He thinks this baby is mine and wants to prevent Aurora from taking the moneyhecontrols and uses.
If I lost hockey, she’d get even less. PEDs would do it. My achievements on the ice would be a farce, and I’d lose my endorsements. If things went south, I’d be forced to turn to him to keep my properties and live comfortably, or I’d have to beg him to help me get my career back.
Either way, I’m dependent on him. I’d have to meet his demands. It’s happened…
Then, something more frightening occurs to me.
He could’ve done this before.
I use a workout formula or protein mix multiple times a day, and not long ago, he had access to the locker room, training facility, and my downtown penthouse, maybe even my cars.
My mind floods with childhood memories, and that dark place threatens to swallow me whole. I shake my head—I can’t think about it. If I do, I might wrap my fingers around Kyle’s throat and squeeze the life right out of him.