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Once we had come down from our high, he slid out of me, rolled the condom off, got out, and walked to the closest bin outside to dispose of it. When he came back to the truck, it was only then that the guilt started to set in. Only then did I realize what I had done.

But alongside the guilt came a realization—I deserved better than what I was getting from Matt. I deserved someone who wouldn't disappear for days at a time, who wouldn't leave me wondering and waiting. I deserved consistency, honesty, presence.

In that moment, I made a decision. I wouldn't answer Matt's calls anymore, if he ever bothered to make them. I would move on and chase something better. Something that didn't make me feel like I was constantly walking on emotional quicksand.

As Alex started the truck and began the drive back to my place, his hand resting casually on my thigh, I felt a strange mix of emotions—guilt, yes, but also relief. Relief that I'd finally taken a step toward breaking the cycle, toward choosing myself over someone who couldn't be bothered to choose me.

"You okay?" Alex asked, glancing over at me.

I nodded, offering him a small smile. "Yeah. I'm good."

And for the first time in days, I actually meant it.

Chapter 10

Geri

Alex wasn't like Matt at all. Where Matt would disappear for days at a time, Alex called and messaged me daily—all day, in fact. It was sweet, almost overwhelming after the emotional drought I'd been stuck in. He stalked the shit out of me online, liking all my posts, including ones from years ago, and commenting on how good I looked in each one. I ate it up, basking in the attention. It was nice to have someone want me for once, to have someone who wasn't afraid to show it.

Matt hadn't called at all. Not once since our night at his parents' house. I tried to ignore the pull I still felt toward him, the way my heart would skip when my phone rang, only to crash when it wasn't his name on the screen. I told myself it was for the best. That I was moving on to something healthier, something more consistent.

When the weekend arrived, Alex invited me to go out to a club up in Riverdale. I said yes, but I also invited two girlfriends of mine who didn't know Matt or Haley or anyone from my Seabreeze Haven life. Why? I wasn't entirely sure. Maybe because deep down, I knew if Matt came running back, I would allow it, and I needed witnesses to my shame.

Kelly and Louise were excited to go out. I met them at their place in Riverdale, ready for a night of distraction. Louise was a girl I'd met back when I was with Ben. She had, in fact, told me two days after I found out about Jess that she had hooked up with Ben one night, but when she discovered he had a girlfriend, she told him to go to hell. Then, when we broke up, she hunted me down to be friends. I didn't hold it against her. In the two months after Ben and I split, I'd come to realize that Jess and Louise were just two of many girls he'd hooked up with. It was sad how blind I'd been, how I hadn't even noticed the signs.

"So, this new guy," Louise said as she applied another coat of mascara, "is he as hot as you say, or are you just desperate after the last disaster?"

I laughed, flipping her off. "He's hot. Like, unfairly hot. And his friends aren't bad either, from what I've seen in photos."

"Single friends?" Kelly perked up, suddenly more interested in the night ahead.

"Two of them coming tonight. Both single, as far as I know."

"Thank fuck," Louise sighed dramatically. "I haven't gotten laid in months. Mama needs some attention."

We got dressed up, and I put in a lot more effort than I had for our first meeting. No pyjamas and Ugg boots this time. I wore a tight black dress that hugged every curve, heels that made my legs look a mile long, and makeup that made my eyes pop. If I was going to do this—really move on from Matt—I was going to do it looking my absolute best.

We met Alex and his two mates at the club, the bass already thumping through the walls as we approached. Alex's face lit up when he saw me, his eyes traveling appreciatively down my body before he pulled me in for a kiss that left no doubt about his intentions for later.

"You look incredible," he murmured against my ear, his hand resting possessively on my lower back.

I introduced him to Kelly and Louise, who were both eyeing him with approval. Then he introduced his friends—Nick and Arjun.

Nick was shorter than Alex and Arjun, but still cute, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Louise zeroed in on him immediately, her predatory smile making her intentions clear. Alex's other mate, Arjun, was hot as sin but seemed to have eyes for no one. He was taller than Alex, with tanned skin, dark eyes, and a body that made me want to climb him like a tree. I had never seen so many good-looking men in my life as I had in the last two weeks. I was totally hooked.

I wished life was a "why choose" novel because those two would make great bread in a girl sandwich. Cooling myself off with that thought, I got to dancing, only to discover that Arjun and Alex could dance like Michael Jackson, while I danced like a frog having a fit. Great.

But I wasn't ashamed. I just rolled with it, deciding to do my best lawn mower dance and fishing line. Hey, if you can't beat them, then just make a fool of yourself, right?

"What the hell is that supposed to be?" Alex laughed, watching me mime reeling in a fish.

"It's called talent," I shot back, exaggerating the movement. "You're just jealous you didn't think of it first."

He grabbed my hand and twirled me, pulling me close. "You're ridiculous," he said, but his eyes were warm with affection.

"You like it," I challenged.

"I do," he admitted, pressing a kiss to my temple. "I really do."