Page 91 of 'Tis the season of Wicked Deeds

Turning my hand, I interlocked our fingers. I gaze at how my small hand fits in his perfectly. “I know, King. It’s one of the things I love about you.”

I still at the same second his grip tightens around my fingers when I utter the wordlove. My chest squeezes as I meet his fiery and passionate stare. I must look like a deer caught in the headlights. I’m scared he’ll call me out on it, but he doesn’t.

“What is it that is scaring you about us?” he softly asks instead.

My tense muscles relax as I confess sadly, “Our vision for our future.”

He thinks for a second before it dawns on him. “Marriage?”

“Yes.” A nervous tremor is in my voice. “I don’t want to get married. Ever. It’s something I’m just not interested in.”

“Because of your parents?”

“A little. I would be lying if I said their failed marriage didn’t affect me. But I’ve had years to understand and accept their divorce doesn’t define me. I am not them. Despite this, I never really got the desire to get married or daydreamed about it like most women.”

“Are you saying you never want to be with anyone?” he questions without a hint of judgment. He sounds like he’s genuinely trying to understand me.

It gives me the courage to share what I’ve only told my best friend, Tina.

“That’s the thing, I do. I want to fall in love. I want a partner to spend the rest of my life with and have kids in the future. It’s just, I don’t think a piece of paper is needed to show you’re committed to someone and build a life together. What matters is what’s in the other person’s heart. For me, loyalty and love are shown with actions, not rituals or traditions. Nobody understands this when I share this. Not even Tina.”

Glancing away from his too intense stare, I let out a self-deprecating laugh. “You must think I’m weird—”

“No, I do not,” he cuts me off, shaking his head. “Just because your views or beliefs are different than others, it doesn’t make you weird. It takes courage and I admire you for it. I also understand where you’re coming from and even agree. Love isn’t defined by any societal norms.”

“But you still do want to get married,” I whisper, fighting back tears.

Why does my stupid heart feel like it’s breaking into a million pieces?

I don’t love him.

Don’t you?

“Will you believe me if I say I don’t?”

I freeze. “Don’t toy with me like that, Kingston.”

“I am not,” he replies with a sly smile.

“You’re on a matchmaking site and literally went on a date with me six months ago. So, sue me if I don’t believe you suddenly don’t want a marriage.”

He chuckles low, making me want to throttle him. He’s infuriating me in the same way as on our first date. Turning somber, he maneuvers my chair until I’m sitting beside him.

“Iwason a matchmaking site. But then one sassy girl came into my life and knocked me sideways until I became obsessed. I’m neither lying nor playing with you, darling. Want to know another truth?”

“What?” I whisper.

“My parents were like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“They fell in love but neither of them wanted to get married. Their parents, especially my mother’s, pressured and threatened to cut them off if they didn’t. People weren’t that open back then. While my parents don’t regret marrying, theywould’ve been just as perfectly happy without it. They just didn’t want to disappoint their parents, who also only wished the best for them. My parents have taught me love is unconditional. So yeah, marriage or no marriage, it doesn’t make a difference to me. All I care about is being with the woman I love. If this was the only thing holding you back, then you know the truth. The final choice is yours, Twinkle.”

He makes it sound so easy, but it isn’t.

Marriage isn’t the only hurdle stopping us from being together. For fuck’s sake, we live in different countries. Long-distance relationships never work, nor do I desire one. I want the man I’m with close, not halfway across the ocean.

All odds are stacked against us.