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“Before we have to do that for real, can we make sure to talk about it, John David? I… want to make sure that Harriet knows when it’s about to happen so she and I can talk about it, too.”

He nodded and said, “Yeah, we can.”

Then, John David closed his eyes, let go of her hand, rolled away from her, and soon, she heard the even breathing of someone in her bed who wasn’t Harriet for the first time in her life.

CHAPTER 8

1935

“What are you doing here?” Harriet asked when she saw Deb standing at her screen door.

“Can you come outside? I want to talk to you.”

Harriet turned to see that her mother was still working on lunch, so she practically shoved the door open, forcing Deb to back up. Then, she let the door slam behind her.

“Come on, Harriet! You weren’t raised in a barn!” her mother yelled.

“Sorry, Mama!” she yelled back, crossed her arms over her chest, and stared at Deb. “Well, how was it?”

“How was what?” Deb asked.

“You know what,” she replied.

Deb looked around the porch, but there was no one there.

“Can we please go to the river?”

“They’ll be fishing.”

“Then, into the woods, at least. I need to talk to you.”

“Mama’s making lunch. I can’t go anywhere. I have to help set the table in a minute.”

“Harriet…”

Harriet hated seeing the concerned expression on Deb’s face, so she walked by her, down the porch steps, and on to the flat, dry grass.

“We can go into the shed,” she said. “No one should be in there. But I only have a minute.”

She continued walking, not checking behind her to see if Deb was following. She hadn’t slept a wink all night, unsure when she’d be able to sleep again, thinking about how Deb was falling asleep next to someone else and how, most nights, she’d be doing more than just sleeping. The whole night, she’dthought about how best to tell the love of her life that she couldn’t do this any longer.

Harriet had practiced inside her mind, telling Deb that it had to be over because John David or someone else would figure it out and put them in danger. She’d never forgive herself if something happened to Deb because they got careless. It would always be Harriet’s fault, and that guilt would never go away, so it would be best to just end it now to keep them both safe. Eventually, her father would also remember that she existed, and he’d insist she marry someone, maybe even Lucas, who she knew didn’t want to marry her because she was too rebellious in his eyes.

She pulled open the shed door and let Deb go inside first. The shed itself had been built by her brothers a few years ago for tool storage that was a little closer to the house. It was made of cheap wood scraps they’d either found or bartered for, more than actually paid for, and the slats had been nailed together with a little space between them, which gave the room some light after Harriet closed the door behind them. There was no lock inside the shed, though, so they had to be careful, and if they heard someone coming, they’d need to pretend they were there for a tool.

“What?” Harriet asked after crossing her arms again, wishing she could lose the annoyed tone because she knew Deb didn’t deserve it. “We have to be quiet in here, too,” she added.

“I didn’t do anything with John David last night.”

Harriet dropped her arms.

“Deb, what? Why not?”

The last thing Harriet wanted was for Deb to be touched by that man, but Deb also had to play along now that she was married, and not doing so would cause people to wonder why.

“I have to tell you something, and you can’t tell anyone, Harriet. I know you won’t, but it’s really important.” Deb moved to her and took Harriet’s hands in her own.

Everything in Harriet wanted to keep that connection because she worried that she’d never have it again, but shecouldn’t. She pulled back because she had to remain strong for both of them if Deb couldn’t do it even for herself.